cthuluwamp

cthuluwamp t1_izmu1ax wrote

sweet! I got engaged when I was 35 and then booted when I was 40, lost everything. Not only is this showing that I'm a late starter, but It's rubbing other peoples achievements in my face because I have less now than when I was 20 and homeless.

Edit: because of this image I am seriously having a minor panic attack and am going to puke.

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cthuluwamp t1_ixt73e0 wrote

the funny thing for me is that it feels like the world is just starting to catch up in the past 5 years to where I have always been mentally "geeze it's so hard being stuck inside by yourself, not seeing anyone, social media becoming your life, and havuing a hard time having conversations when you do meet up again."

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cthuluwamp t1_ixt6smr wrote

I'm just a little guy in my head really. That's where "I" reside. The meat puppet is just what I use to interact with the illusion around me. Sometimes you can "fall back" all the way inside. try not to fall too far, because time doesn't exist there and you'll wake up much older when you choose to revisit the illusion.

I'm not spiritual by any means, but I think yoda said it best "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."

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cthuluwamp t1_ixt66r6 wrote

reading your comment I just realized I was starting to disassociate. My first sign is that my hands feel reeeally far away, like i literally couldn't tell you if they were on the desk in front of me or literally an infinite distance away, even looking at them with my eyes where I can see they are right there, I can almost "choose" whether to believe that or not.

It makes me feel like we are in an illusion universe, like I'm plugged into some matrix computer somewhere, my brain could be on one side, my remote controlled hands on the other and I am seeing through the veil by letting my mind go.

If I let myself keep going my day and night would disappear and I'd find myself sitting here in the same spot sometime tomorrow.

This always happens when I am alone.

Weirdest thing is I can totally navigate society, yet I realize just how insane what I just wrote sounds.

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