>Not everybody has had your life or your experiences, and view the world differently.

Exactly. You can't make judgements on behalf of other people based on your own lived experiences.

I was raped as a child but I don't fear all men. It wasn't all men that did that to me, just one man. But, I know some women who judge all men (or all women if it was a woman who raped them) based on the one person. I know men and women who've been raped that cannot move past it mentally and will have highly emotional reactions in certain situations.

This is the same for many traumas. If you let the trauma run your life, you will never be able to move past it and run your own life. Read Man's Search for Meaning sometime. It's very eye opening on how some people were hollow shells of themselves after the Holocaust and how some were still able to live fulfilling lives despite the atrocities they were put through. It's extremely emotional at times, just as a warning, but it is an amazing example of how you can persevere.

Some people hate women, some people hate men, some people hate certain religions, some people hate [fill in the blank]. I see all sorts of hate in the news almost daily. To live a life focusing on the fact some people hate [fill in the blank] is a life not fully lived.

Not a troll. I'm not the one stating you can assume someone's gender by their hairstyle (not saying you did this, but others who've chatted with me have). It's absolutely disgusting that someone can say they're inclusive while also assuming gender based on hairstyles.

It's crazy to me what some people on here were saying to me about hairstyles equating to gender. I've never been around people who assume gender based on hairstyles. I don't see an issue with anyone having a hairstyle they want, no matter how they identify.

Why are you assuming no one but cisgendered people think you shouldn't have to state your gender identity to get a haircut? That's very small minded and makes it seem like you think everyone but cisgendered people are hyperfocused on how someone identifies when it comes to getting a haircut.

This also goes back to your thinking that someone needs a "feminine" haircut to be seen as feminine. Do you see men with your perceived feminine haircuts to be feminine? Do you assume those men identify as women?

I don't understand how this explains why you assume I'm cisgendered.

No, I don't want a wolf cut. But, if I did, I'd go to my hairstylist and ask if she knows how to do that style since I already trust her with my hair. If not, I'd ask her for recommendations before searching on my own.

You, and others, are saying hairstyles are gendered. You've even stated some hairstyles are feminine. That means you identify someone's gender by their hairstyle. I'm not the one who sees gender in hairstyles.

Why do you assume I'm cisgender? That's quite rude and presumptive of you. Are you someone who assumes gender based on hairstyle too?

Nope. It's crazy to me how many people, like yourself, assume someone's gender on their hairstyle.

Maybe I know different people than you. Everyone I know doesn't see gender based on hair. That's very sexist imo. It's like making a judgement of how someone will behave based on their hairstyle, what their voice will sound like, what genitalia they have, etc. It's not right.

No. I don't. If I said only women have long hair, isn't that kind of sexist? If I said only men have short hair, isn't that also kind of sexist. This idea that hair is gendered is a sexist idea to me. Anyone can have any hairstyle and if someone sees gender based on hair, they're the one with the problem.

>So, for trans people to actually get the styles they want when they visit the salon, they need to make sure the stylist will actually be willing to give them those hairstyles.

Maybe I've just never encountered this, but I don't know any hairstylist who won't take your money and give you the hairstyle you want. They may ask if you're sure you want to take 10 inches off or go from black to blonde hair, but that's usually because it's such a drastic change and they want to be sure before they start messing with your hair. Most hairstylists will gladly give you what you want in exchange for you giving them money.

I can understand there are some people who look down on trans people, but I don't understand why a hairstylist even needs to know your gender identity. I don't discuss my gender identity with my stylist and she's never asked. I tell her how I want my hair to look. I've had many hairstyles, even super short, throughout my life and never once discussed my gender. This is what I don't get.

No one seems to be able to explain this. It keeps going back to people being transphobic over hairstyles when hairstyles come in all varieties no matter the gender. And people keep talking about presenting feminine or masculine when all genders have a variety of hairstyles and they crossover between genders. To me, this is akin to thinking only females can have long hair and only males can have short hair. If all you see is gender identity when you look at someone's hairstyle, I think that's a problem.

What is feminine hair though? This is what I'm trying to get across. I see people who look masculine and people who look feminine with long hair, short hair, buzzed hair, bald, curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, etc. Trying to present masculine or feminine is literally different to everyone.

What is feminine hair though? This is what I'm trying to get across. I see people who look masculine and people who look feminine with long hair, short hair, buzzed hair, bald, curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, etc. Trying to present masculine or feminine is literally different to everyone.

I'm saying I don't believe hair is gendered and don't understand why this is a big issue. I keep getting met with reiterating that hair is gendered. It's not a good explanation. And how is this political when I'm saying I see a variety of haircuts on people nowadays? That's not political, that's an observation.

I'm trying to understand this but all I'm getting is "hair is gendered" when it's not. Any stylist who cares how someone wants to cut their hair and will judge a person for it isn't a good person. Doesn't matter what the customer's gender is.

>You are overcomplicating this.

I think the inverse is actually true.

>It matters to them that they are presenting as the gender they are, in a way that makes them feel comfortable in their bodies.

And that doesn't change how a hairstylist cuts their hair. If a hairstylist is going to judge anyone (no matter their gender) on what they do with their hair, they're not a good stylist or person.

I think people put too much thought and time into this. With all the variety in hairstyles across all genders nowadays, I don't think you can say hair is gendered anymore.

>Hair is tremendously gendered.

Maybe to you, but not everyone sees hair as a gendered thing. I see men and women with a variety of cuts, styles, and colors. I have no idea if they're trying to present a certain way or not because of all the variety. I know men who identify as men and have long curly hair. I know women who identify as women who have short spiked hair. My female cousin even had a fauxhawk for a while. If I think someone has nice or cool hair, I tell them. I don't wonder how they're trying to present since there's so much variety nowadays.

No, it doesn't make sense. I see men with stereotypical female hair all the time. I don't ever wonder their gender as I don't care. I see both men and women with varieties of hairstyles and colors. Being afraid of what someone will think of your hairstyle preference doesn't seem like an inherently trans issue to me. It seems like an issue that stems from someone being afraid of what others think of them as a whole, which happens to many people, no matter their gender or orientation.

I guess I just don't understand how a haircut and styling hair had anything to with gender. I see men and women with long hair and short hair, dyed hair, buzzed heads, etc. I don't look at their styles as indicative of their gender in any way.

I don't even understand why you have to tell a hairstylist if you're trans, lesbian, gay, nonbinary, straight, etc. It makes no sense and doesn't change the fact of how to cut someone's hair.

Not trying to be insensitive or anything, but what's different for trans people than non trans people when it comes to haircuts? I would think you'd want someone who knows your hair more than someone who knows your orientation.

Edit: After some of the replies, I feel bad for what trans people go through. Some of the people who've replied make it obvious they assume gender off hairstyle. My female cousin, who identified as female, used to have super short hair. I hope she didn't have to go through assumptions of being male just because of her choice of hairstyle. And I hope hairstylists aren't being assumptive aholes either. People should be able to have whatever haircut they want and not have to state their gender in the process.