When I eat less, I weigh less.

When I moved back to Brooklyn for a few months after having moved to San Diego, I parked my car in Fort Hamilton (I was a military dependent) and left it there until I drove back to San Diego.

I didn’t have a driver’s license until I was 26, and I was so used to taking public transportation and walking in the city that I just went right back to that.

Someone might not get killed by getting hit by a car at low speed, but no one wants to get hit by a car, even if it’s going slowly. That shit would hurt.

It’s watching you!

You could always wear a condom on your tongue.

Waaay back in 1985, I left my wallet at a concession stand on the Coney Island boardwalk. About six months later, I got a bigish envelope in the mail with the contents of my wallet wrapped in a rubber band, minus my cash.

I had no driver’s license or credit cards at the time, and I can’t remember what was in there that had my address on it.

It’s one of the weirdest things that’s happened to me.

I want to see the inside! Does the oven door swing open to the side, or open down?

Sometimes I can’t believe I was born and raised in this city. I still remember the skyline of the 1960s, pre Twin Towers. I’m not sure why, but this image evokes a lot of emotion in me.

Nah, my accent is genuine. Shit, if I wanna curse, I’ll curse my motherfucking 61 year old ass off ;)

I love this!!!

I curse out Siri a lot. I also got her to call me a see you next Tuesday by changing my nickname. My apps were definitely getting an earful, complete with a Brooklyn accent.

That’s true, I remember those days and how the city began to be flooded with people who needed competent guidance and structure, and instead of being abused in institutions, they began to be abused on the streets.

That’s such a stupid joke, it’s grate and I love it!!