Oh look, a comment from someone who clearly hasn’t seen a soccer game since 2005. Thanks for chiming in!

I was using the term “mascot” as a colloquialism for a team name which is something other than the location of the team.

So the Cardinal (which for the record, is Stanford’s team name, not Cardinals) or Bears or Eagles or Tigers or whatever..

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Do you think “Arsenal” is a mascot?!?! Lol. No, it’s a location. It’s the name of the district in London where the team is located.

No EPL team has a mascot. Nor do any teams in Germany or Spain or France or Italy.

I’m missing your point. Brits and Germans soccer teams don’t use silly mascots either.

It’s really only stupid American sports which feel the need to do this.

I think the idea of a toddler being like “ggrrrrr, I’m a sca-wee animal” is adorable. But when a grown man does it, it’s just pathetic.

Maybe that’s what American football is - a sport for children. I’ll keep watching a grown up sport where we don’t pretend to be something else.

I guess if you’re going to watch a sport where games last 4 hours but there’s only 13 minutes of actual game action, you need to find some other way to entertain yourself (like arguing whether our adult grown men pretending to be birds of prey are more intimidating than your adult men pretending to be bears).

Cool, you do you. I’ll just keep watching a sport which last under 2 hours and where there is actually 90 minutes of gameplay.

You mean like grown adults playing pretend that they’re something scary?

“Oooooohhh, the other team better be afraid of us. We have a picture of a birds wing on our hats! And a guy on the sidelines dressed up like a giant stuffed animal!”

The idea that you need to name your team some animal or Native American tribe name is ridiculous. Let’s look at the self-appointed names of the current top teams in College football. We have:

• a house dog
• a poisonous tree nut
• a person who agrees to help
• a rodent
• a killer cat (but very unoriginal nickname)
• a meteorological event

Yeah, that is WAY stupider than just naming your team after the place the team is located.

Tell me you don’t understand soccer culture without telling me you don’t understand soccer culture.

Seriously man, stick to what you know.

Damnit, don’t get me all worked up by talking about hot worm sex this late at night!