peensteen
peensteen t1_jdxni2p wrote
Reply to Police chief says exorcism and prayer used to fight crime and cartels in Colombia: "The existence of the devil is certain" by ChocolateTsar
Pray the yayo away. Nothing else seems to be working. I guess next is the Holy War on Drugs, no one expects the Colombian Inquisition!
peensteen t1_jcypjqc wrote
Reply to comment by meatmechdriver in Catch Me If You Can’s Frank Abagnale Jr ‘lied' about his lifetime of lies by SYLOH
Gross
peensteen t1_jbh5cbs wrote
Reply to comment by SUCHANASTYW0MAN in SunnyD Vodka Seltzer: A childhood favorite grows up by Mosanso
At least these don't have stupid sexually suggestive joke names. I hate that shit. Those things are perfect for trailer park blackouts, Krystal celebrating CPS finally freeing up her budget, and holding against that shiner that Ray Ray gifted Tammy Lynn after the Eagles lost.
peensteen t1_jbh3grf wrote
Reply to comment by moon_buzz in SunnyD Vodka Seltzer: A childhood favorite grows up by Mosanso
Literally every other drink in that commercial was better than Sunny Delight. Just drink orange juice, this stuff is vile.
peensteen t1_jb5ic6b wrote
Reply to Wife elopes with another man, husband marries her lover's wife as revenge by wewhomustnotbenamed
Dude stole my wife revenge plan.
Step 1: Marry HIS wife and end up supporting his children.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!
peensteen t1_jaytnl7 wrote
It's not like calling them something else would help. Anything we come up with will eventually be construed as misogynistic (and indeed would even be intended as such by some people). Just calling them arseholes would not communicate what specific sort of arsehole you mean.
peensteen t1_jaxiy09 wrote
Reply to Toronto Raptors Apologize For 'Women's History Month' Video That Applauded Women For Having Babies – OutKick by wxcode
Let's applaud men for our ability to skeetskeetskeet! I'll lead the most disturbing parade you have ever seen.
peensteen t1_jao87ip wrote
"Get Out" was a true story. These two are secretly middle-aged white women. Next, they were going to hold up Michael's for all of their oatmeal soap base.
peensteen t1_ja9bn2c wrote
I wish he would "An Hero" for Chechnya.
peensteen t1_ja9b9m4 wrote
Ah, so that's what a female Dwarf looks like. No wonder Tolkien was so close-mouthed about them.
peensteen t1_ja9afd3 wrote
Reply to comment by gobblox38 in Chechen Leader Awards Himself 'Hero Of Chechnya' Medal by a_exa_e
The REVOLVER OCELOT (revolver ocelot) medal of lulz.
peensteen t1_j8z9lmi wrote
Reply to Sidney Powell cited woman who claimed to be headless, time-traveling entity in email pushing election conspiracy theories by Oldkingcole225
Fucking Timesplitters meddling with elections now.
peensteen t1_j8z7pql wrote
Reply to comment by pyrrhios in Sidney Powell cited woman who claimed to be headless, time-traveling entity in email pushing election conspiracy theories by Oldkingcole225
She unleashed the krakpot.
peensteen t1_j8z7gw0 wrote
Reply to comment by theshaeman in Sidney Powell cited woman who claimed to be headless, time-traveling entity in email pushing election conspiracy theories by Oldkingcole225
The first two you can stick your dick in, but the third will bite it off.
peensteen t1_j8u4baf wrote
Reply to comment by MomentOfHesitation in Cancer patient develops 'uncontrollable' Irish accent in rare case: U.S. researchers by Z8S9
Basically. So many people think that phrase refers to GOOD luck.
peensteen t1_j8u3vdm wrote
Reply to Cancer patient develops 'uncontrollable' Irish accent in rare case: U.S. researchers by Z8S9
Those with the most severe brain tumors end up speaking Geordie.
peensteen t1_j8dww10 wrote
Reply to Alabama Democrats want to ban employers from forcing workers to get microchipped by thatguygreg
When you start hearing Keanu Reeves in your head bitching about corporations, you know that you definitely got the wrong kind of chip.
peensteen t1_j5njown wrote
Reply to comment by pronuntiator in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by GoatsesWeddingRing
You have no idea how fast I can tap B, and there's always Everstones!
Edit: you don't need an Everstone with Chi Yu. Like a Dallas Cowboys fan, it can't evolve.
peensteen t1_j5n7es8 wrote
Reply to Waiheke Island resident fed up with being tormented by mysterious sausages put in his mailbox by Saarstriker
Bah! Just order your Walking Dwarf to monitor and retrieve your mailbox contents, and enjoy your tribute sausages. Kick back in the Provisional House, and enjoy the fruits of CHIM.
peensteen t1_j5n5xbw wrote
Reply to comment by bilateralrope in Waiheke Island resident fed up with being tormented by mysterious sausages put in his mailbox by Saarstriker
Sounds like the easiest game of Clue of all time.
peensteen t1_j5n5m4b wrote
Reply to comment by braveabandon in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by GoatsesWeddingRing
Moms will jump on this shit when editions are named after moon phases and planetary alignments.
peensteen t1_j5lsel0 wrote
Reply to comment by Majestic_Electric in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by GoatsesWeddingRing
Good thing it can't. I'd hate to see what this fish could do with opposable thumbs.
peensteen t1_j5lrk6i wrote
Reply to comment by Angdrambor in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by GoatsesWeddingRing
All that they care about is that you buy multiple versions of the same damn game, in every color, gemstone, precious metal, or whatever. Soon, they'll be down to releasing Pokémon Onion/Shallot.
peensteen t1_j5lr1km wrote
Reply to comment by l4derman in Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch by GoatsesWeddingRing
That shit drove me crazy when I was a kid.
peensteen t1_je5w9wn wrote
Reply to Chechnya's Kadyrov Decorated For Defending Human Rights by _Beets_By_Dwight_
Ramzan son of Abitch son of Groin son of Gimli son of Gloin. Durin's folk have fallen far indeed. Nice Prada boots, though. My GFs mom has a pair.