I didn't know that Klaus was into Pokémon. Man, Stan's gonna be pissed!

The cops had make sure he ate the Hot Pocket before surrendering. They're devastating thrown weapons fresh out of the microwave.

I was just shitting on MMOs. I spent about two months on EverQuest back in the day, before I realized that it's not compatible with life. Jaws literally just scratches the surface. Look up what sorts of nastiness lives in our deep seas, and THAT shit will keep you out of the water for real. I think I'd rather be honestly bitten by a white shark, than even be NEAR a goblin shark.

Hey, hey, Jaws didn't do it, Blizzard did it! If we needed to bathe, there would be a WoW expansion that puts bathtubs in more than two or three locations. Griftah sold me some Soap on a Rope, but I'm not convinced.

I heard Ye was a fan of Blowfish Week.

I love sharks, but that doesn't make me a gay fish.

We need Captain Planet (Don Cheadle, natch) to go around sawing those "fisherman's" fucking arms off.

Sandler's coattails must be super comfy.

Sandler's coattails must be super comfy.

I'm tasting bile, now. Definitely bile.

Gutless came back out of the Boo Box mysteriously wearing a Rolex.

She is currently the campaign setting for the new Gerbil King Lemmiwinks expansion.

I was thinking the same thing. She looks like a Picasso.

Freak fisting accident.

Somehow, the CEOs make off with millions in salary, while the well-meaning folks doing the actual work eat shit. It's amazing what percentage of donations ends up in the banks accounts of C level executives.

I just figured charities use a lot of volunteers. It seems like the only people who make money in this field are C level types, who make millions per year. I didn't mean people don't deserve a living wage, but charity work is its own reward.

I wouldn't work for a CHARITY expecting much in the way of compensation. It's like going to church, and complaining about the entertainment.

NY just needs to ask Victor Falco to do them a solid.

If she's feeding Velveeta to her kids, she should be charged with child abuse. Bleh.

It's a pain in the ass, but we don't really have many traditions to cling to. We don't have royal weddings, ancient languages, or castles.

Meh, the metric system has no soul. It's something a robot would come up with. Imperial measurements are like a little puzzle to solve, having to remember how many teaspoons are in a pint.

Any excuse to avoid brunch with her friends: "Uh, I'd love to, but I've got an appointment!" "Where?", she asks. His eyes dart frantically around the room, hoping to 'The Usual Suspects' his way out of this bind, when his gaze alights upon live feed from the Capitol Building. "THERE!", he blurts. No federal penitentiary holds as much horror for him as being held captive with the inane laughing of 4 middle-aged women on a 11am prosecco bender.

MAY survive. User experience may vary. The Emirate of Qatar makes no express claims about the efficacy of the legal system in the event of user being poor.

Whew, dodged a bullet there! Imagine if anyone had actually TASTED the "beer". Qatar would have had a newly minted human rights scandal!

I don't care if Qatar is hosting the Resurrection Tour of Tupac and Biggie featuring Jimi Hendrix, don't give money to oppressive little kingdoms like this. LIV Golf can fuck right off too.