zorak_robert

zorak_robert t1_j56q7uk wrote

I went to one of the places downtown once to just sit in the corner and drink and watch people have fun because I am a wallflower. I ordered chicken tenders because I'm 12 and the cook came out of the back and like, hesitantly handed me a small plastic basket with paper lining and some chicken and french fries. I didn't really think anything of it until I started eating and one of the chicken tenders was like, a shockingly different. Like they ran out and had to run to the gas station to buy more. I honestly think I saw him peering around the corner to see if I was going to eat it. I did, and was scared, but nothing bad happened that I know of.

Anyway it was late on a Saturday night and no one else was there. So I dunno if that is what you would consider fun.

17

zorak_robert t1_ixsojtb wrote

Took my mom and son to Seaquest in lynchburg. Fun road trip, but I've been thinking about trying to get out of the house and do grown up stuff.

I've been a single dad for about three years now. I have done a lot of work to get the kiddo and I stable, but I find that I have no real social network of any kind. Rebuilding after divorce sucks, especially when you're the responsible one. Any other single parents want to get together and talk trash about our exes? I got a doozie!

15

zorak_robert t1_ixcnqmi wrote

I want to make some kind of joke but to be honest my life is completely empty as well. I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone yet, but it's nice to hear that I am not alone in the world.

I have been seeing a therapist and I told her I feel like an alien a lot. Like I am just visiting people on earth and observing them. The world is so cold and unforgiving, and I don't really seem to be able to connect with people emotionally.

The holidays are the hardest I think, but you'll make it. I think about ending my life a lot, but it's more idle idealization than planning. I don't know if any of this means anything to anyone but you'll make it! If I am still here then you'll be fine!

44

zorak_robert t1_isjor8e wrote

Roll your eyes all you want, but that whole "see something say something" attitude you probably grew up with is just a way to condition you to fear things you don't understand.

You need to get over yourself. No matter how bad you want to be a victim, no one cares enough about you to go after you. Those things you see as threats are city life. Yes a car idling for a long time is a bad idea, but were you hurt by it? Did it roll into you? Did the backpack bite you?

You are not going to prevent the next 9/11 by calling the cops on people who are just living their lives differently than you.

−3