Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

nxdark t1_it7plg5 wrote

Reply to comment by acfox13 in [Image] "Toxic Positivity is Forced..." - Susan David by true90sstory

The solution is the only thing that matters. The grieving is just a waste of time and energy. The sooner you find a solution the sooner the problem over.

−4

joleme t1_it8nxhj wrote

Really hope you're not a counselor.

Hey you, I know you just got diagnosed with cancer and have 2 weeks to live, and your 3 young kids won't have a father anymore, but stop grieving it's a waste of time.

If you can't see how stupid you look with that attitude then you can't be helped. Grieving is a natural part of human existence.

0

StudlyCurmudgeon t1_it8we8x wrote

Natural, sure, but I don't feel the OP is saying that you're unnatural for grieving. The point is, if you "wallow" for days/weeks/months after a cancer diagnosis, your kids now have to deal with an "absent" parent even before the potentially inevitable death, but then they still have a parent with terminal cancer either way. It's heaping more misery onto an already shitty situation.

The key here is to be understanding of those that do "wallow", while also recognizing that acceptance is a very important first step to an inevitability. Prolonging denial or grief is never great, and is almost always somewhat selfish. Again, very human, but definitely has negative consequences to both you and your loved ones.

Just my two doges.

2

BryKKan t1_it8rgbq wrote

Are you going to come help me solve it? Or is it all just preaching and no consideration of problems more serious than you can "solve" alone?

0

nxdark t1_it90ksd wrote

I normally come up with solutions to those problems. If I don't have a solution there is no point in me engaging in that conversation.

1

BryKKan t1_it977gr wrote

I didn't ask you to intellectually determine the solution. I know the solution. I asked if you were going to come over here and help do the work of implementing it.

1

nxdark t1_it9b57o wrote

Why would I do that? I don't know you and have zero investment in you either. So the only thing I have to offer for free is an intellectual solution to your problems to stop your wasteful feelings.

1

BryKKan t1_it9c2o5 wrote

Why would you have any justification for judging my actions, much less my feelings if you aren't contributing to the solution yourself?

Why should we see you as anything other than toxic for presuming to so judge?

1

nxdark t1_it9code wrote

Because my contribution is the intellectual solution because that is what you need to move past your emotions that are controlling you. The emotion and feelings you have are your worse enemy.

1

BryKKan t1_it9cyh8 wrote

That's disturbing in so many ways.

No. Other people can find solutions too. Sometimes it's not possible to make the required changes alone. Your contribution is nil, because you're not offering anything of positive value. Just telling people their emotions are getting in the way is irrational and unhelpful.

1