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raised_by_groening t1_iuah45a wrote

Well in the book, "American Scapegoating and Social Isolation", this would be evaluated as such.

1). Don't identify anyone as toxic

2). Analyze your own emotions, when you can be positive around others, try to share that positivity.

3). Don't label anyone as crazy, yourself or others.

4). Accept yourself and your own flaws, and the flaws of others and have solidarity over what it means to be human.

​

~Sincerely Homer Simpson

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officialvfd t1_iub9nv5 wrote

I think it’s fine to identify people as toxic for you. That doesn’t mean anyone else needs to know, or that they are the source of all your problems, or that they should be used as a scapegoat. But stepping away from someone who literally has a toxic effect on your mental health can absolutely be the right move. Life is too short to hang around with people who make you feel miserable.

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1re_endacted1 t1_iubfo0o wrote

Saw another gem on here the other day along the lines of, “if it costs you your mental health, it’s too expensive.”

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maiteko t1_iubmxjj wrote

Any person who has ever dealt with a person with a severe personality disorder would tell you: this is all pretty bad advice.

This kind of advice only makes sense when all parties involved are acting in good faith, and we are in the realm of “people just make mistakes”

But when dealing with fundamentally broken people, taking this attitude is just gaslighting yourself. It’s how people justify being in abusing relationships for years.

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Nanaremilamina t1_iuc7glr wrote

The whole post was telling people to look inward and not judge and you are saying "no that is stupid don't be enlightened"

Your post almost perfectly exemplifies one of the main problems with Western society right now.

Glad I have this popcorn

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raised_by_groening t1_iubrzx2 wrote

I just don't believe in fundamentally broken people.

Hoping whatever is going on you can heal with grace and can integrate in your community.

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DuskyDay t1_iud2fh1 wrote

> I just don't believe in fundamentally broken people.

You're missing some life experience. Hopefully you'll survive when you get it someday.

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raised_by_groening t1_iud7at4 wrote

My friend I just believe in forgiveness. And that the people that forgive, have more empathy to love those that are hurt.

Hahah, I wish I was missing the life experience you are talking about, but truly I am not lol!!

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[deleted] t1_iuddu29 wrote

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raised_by_groening t1_iudk5ba wrote

Would you care to please define accountability in any particular context, just something that isn't general or abstract. Just a specific situation please?

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[deleted] t1_iudmeb6 wrote

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raised_by_groening t1_iudn26w wrote

Absolutely! I forgive for things like this. I usually forgive people when I have an expectation for someone, when they have made a commitment to me, and they fail to make good on their commitment. Instead of having hurt feelings, I just forgive them and move on.

Can I please have a definition of accountability? a specific situation?

I'm sorry I don't know your definition of accountability in another response. Could you please provide one?

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DuskyDay t1_iud2aci wrote

> 1). Don't identify anyone as toxic

Then we'll need a new word meaning what "toxic" currently means, since some people are what we call toxic and some people aren't, and they cluster along the right axes separately.

Or, in simple English, not thinking about how some people are harmful will handicap you when making predictions of their behavior, when deciding who to keep close and who to avoid, etc.

It's about as helpful as not identifying anyone as thieves. It might help you intermittently feel better about your stuff being stolen, because aren't we all flawed human beings? But in the long run, it doesn't work.

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raised_by_groening t1_iud8c78 wrote

Oh I truly disagree with this. And I think this is quite the opposite of the evolutionary advantage of forgiveness.

You see when you have a negative thought about yourself or others, it is actually a burden. A person overwhelmed is full of negative thoughts that they can not handle, and can not deal with. So they lash out, in their community or inward (depression).

Anyway.

You see, when you identify someone as toxic, just a little bit you actually identify yourself as being toxic. Here is how I know. The process of identification takes the same neurons you are using to read this sentence, and when you identify someone as toxic, that label in of itself as a memory, you hold and retain that memory. If you are not your memories, uhh I don't know who you are.

Anyway, if you want to purge yourself of all toxicity, you forgive all people and yourself of all negative behaviors or things that have hurt you in the past.

If you do not do this, you are literally slowly, building up negative memories one by one, slowly over time. Until you get overwhelmed or 'lose your cool'.

Evolutionarily forgiveness gives a person the ability to accept people where they are, not take offense of minor inconveniences, and gives them the opportunity to be good. Which makes the community better for the self and others.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk,

Sincerely ,

Homer Simpson

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[deleted] t1_iudgwju wrote

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raised_by_groening t1_iudiyu7 wrote

I appreciate what you are trying to articulate, but umm. I beg your pardon, did you address any of my factual arguments?

Maybe there is a miscommunication going on.

What is the precise definition of an individual with a cluster b personality disorder? Why are they acting like that? Did they have childhood trauma? If they are overwhelmed how do we prevent them from being overwhelmed and how do we help them to be virtuous people in society?

I literally studied existential philosophy and I literally hold myself accountable for all things, things I have done and things I have not done. So I don't think it applies to me, but maybe you are talking about a hypothetical person in society?

How does this relate to your database of memories? And your identity as a person?

Also this seems to be contradictory. You say there are people out there somewhere acting this way:

>“it’s not me, it’s YOU, YOU refuse to let go of the past”. But In every instance, they refuse to be held accountable.

But people that hold others accountable without forgiving them, seem to be doing exactly this on the small scale. They aren't saying this explicitly but you are literally thinking it and it manifests in those that are overwhelmed.

​

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Sincerely

~Homer Simpson

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[deleted] t1_iudskbb wrote

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raised_by_groening t1_iuduccs wrote

My friend I am so sorry for whatever you are going through. You are going through a lot and need a lot of emotional support to keep going.

I am hoping nothing but the best for you, I take you at your word and I hope you can have harmony within your family in the future.

Please take care of yourself

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DuskyDay t1_iuexw58 wrote

Sorry, identifying something as X doesn't make you little X. This just isn't true as a matter of logic.

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raised_by_groening t1_iuezfd0 wrote

Oh, you are one that studies logic! Me too!! Which study of logic do you subscribe? Do you have a favorite professor of logic?

Oh and I absolutely disagree with your statement. My argument is an incredibly small claim.

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