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dollywooddude t1_j8mikhj wrote

I don’t fully understand. How will the world tell you? Why don’t you know? How is this motivating?

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thaddeus423 t1_j8mliys wrote

The world is going to demand and expect certain things from you.

Those things could differ depending on what sort of walk of life you’re on.

If you tend to wander aimlessly with no goals or are uncertain what you want to be in life (or vice versa) things will happen to you that you do not like, and things will happen to you that you do like. The same can be said for someone who has goals and doesn’t wander, but they might have a bit more identity figured out.

It’s up to you to sort through these things with your thoughts and your emotions and decide who you are or what type of person you’d like to be.

I think it’s motivating because a lot of us are lost.

A lot of us are just making it up as we go, trying to survive, seeing what sticks to the wall when we throw it, and doing whatever we can to make our weird little hearts happy in an otherwise short and unforgiving life.

If you don’t know who you are, life will show you.

And while incredibly terrifying, I’m enlightened.

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HaysteRetreat t1_j8nb8xq wrote

Your comment is more motivating than the quote to me.

Life or the world may tell you who you are but only if you know how to listen and don't confuse it with society telling you who it wants you to be.
Because that second bit is a trap that can kill identities and make for a miserable life.

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thaddeus423 t1_j8ncrdc wrote

A very important, wonderful point.

Thank you, friend.

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Trips-Over-Tail t1_j8ntmd5 wrote

This is one of those annoying life "advices" that assert that you need some nebulous skill to live, but gives no clue whatsoever of how to acquire this skill, or what it is.

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kippypapa t1_j8oiwv8 wrote

In college, some people wanted to become doctors. They set out on a path and said that’s what they wanted. Others went to business school and just hoped to get hired somewhere. Whoever hired them told them what they were going to be. The latter sucks, just ask any corporate worker.

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Trips-Over-Tail t1_j8ouj12 wrote

Yes, but the people who wanted to be doctors had gotten to the point that they knew what they wanted to be, and that hurdle is both very tall to jump and off in an unmarked direction.

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kippypapa t1_j8owcvd wrote

It’s just an example. You can substitute doctor for anything. At least you’re taking a stance. The other person is just wandering around with less of a stance in life.

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Kaoru1011 t1_j8pmchw wrote

Are you saying going to business school means you’re not sure of what you’re going to be doing? That’s not true, you can narrow down what type of business you want to do and you can also start your own business

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kippypapa t1_j8ps9h3 wrote

Most don’t start businesses, most apply at a company then the company slots them according to their needs

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Kaoru1011 t1_j8pucl4 wrote

Or you could also have multiple sources of income and have a small business. Many different ways to make a living

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kippypapa t1_j8q0gdh wrote

Right but business administration students generally end up in corporations.

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Kaoru1011 t1_j8q0z9d wrote

That’s bc it’s super broad, I’m in marketing which is more of an actual field

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__me_again__ t1_j8nlp67 wrote

Thanks, ChatGPT.

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hezzospike t1_j8rgpjy wrote

Nah that comment was definitely written by the user. It doesn't feel like a high school essay.

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going2leavethishere t1_j8n8g1f wrote

Just did a wiki rabbit hole dive. The man was all about the collective consciousness that we are who we are because of those before us.

He states that his inspiration towards such a philosophy came from when he was around the age of 5-6. He carved a small mannequin into the ruler and would place it in his pencil case. He painted a rock on both sides and put that into his case. He then hid the case in his attic. From time to time he would visit the case with notes that were coded in a language he created.

Later in life he learned of totems and how he had been preforming a similar ritual to indigenous people all around the world. That a young boy who never learned of any of this would be able to accomplish the same things as a group miles away.

What really fascinated me was the dude started developing signs of schizophrenia and instead of medicating or hospitalization. He isolated himself and let the hallucinations run ramped. Scribbling everything in a note book which later became The Black Book. Full of random dark thoughts and imagery. He later came out of isolation and made a new transcript of the entire thing which is known as The Red Book.

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_chippchapp_ t1_j8opfql wrote

Thanks for this fascinating information, thats new to me.

But i'd say its also worth noting that he teamed up with Freud and was one of the fathers of psychotherapy. Which is heavily inspired by buddhisg philosophy that both of them studied intensivly. For everyone has highly autonomous parts in their psyche, schizophrenia is just a desise where the managment of those gets out of balance. And buddhist practises (meditation) enables you to clearly look inward and connect/map out these parts of your mind.

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going2leavethishere t1_j8pilaz wrote

Wiki mentioned that the they had a short lived partnership. Freud thought he found his messiah, his prince, his successor to the head of psychology but they differed on the ideology behind the collective consciousness and then parted ways.

Kind a of a sad story overall.

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Ed_Hastings t1_j8oy4dx wrote

As interesting as that is, I feel like a totem worshiping untreated schizophrenic is not the ideal person to take life advice from.

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going2leavethishere t1_j8piswa wrote

Hahahah fair point. The beauty of theology, psychology, philosophy is there is no right or wrong answers. Just understanding of how we as humans interact with the world.

We see it as he needs medication or help. He saw it as an opportunity to witness first hand what was happening and the ability to properly document what was happening.

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NehEma t1_j8mlzjz wrote

The world tells you a lot through social conditioning. Most of the things that we often deem as "natural" or "evident" are social norms. Have you ever been told to "man up" or that something is "not lady-like"? That's the world telling you who you are (or what it thinks you should be).

There are a lots of reasons for not knowing who you are. Lacking similar people around you is one possible reason.

imho it's motivating because it gives you other options than the miserable life you might've been ascribed.

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ihitrockswithammers t1_j8n3tn9 wrote

This makes a lot of sense to me. I'm gender non-conforming in that I'm a tall guy with masculine facial features, and I'm most happy with my waist length hair down, wearing a long flowing dress and make up. This is apparently extremely strange to 99% of people, disturbing even.

Gender roles are very deeply ingrained in society and our training/conditioning starts early. It never even occurred to me that this is who I want to be until my mid 30s, and it was very painful to discover about myself.

Most of the time I dress fairly normally because it's practical for work as a stonecarver (currently wearing overalls and a woolly hat), and people make hardline assumptions about who I am and how I'm likely to behave. How I ought to behave.

Occasionally I'll slip up and a sudden expression of happiness will come out in a very girly way, like fists balled to my cheeks and little jumps for joy. This is usually regarded as utterly pathetic, by both men and women alike - at least in the straight cisgender world. If I'm working on site I can't express myself freely at all because if my queer side shows at all it can make an entire room of previously relaxed laughing men freeze over and turn sour.

I'm still doing the work of shrugging off these societal shackles in my early 40s.

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NehEma t1_j8p0bxs wrote

Hey fellow breathing human being \o

I'm glad you're able to deconstruct these social norms and experiment with things that make you happier and feel more fulfilled.

I'm not for that bespoke cishet world but afaik they tend to be scared by masc looking folks expressing other emotions than anger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'd say it's easier to be yourself and send idiots fuck themselves than play a part that wasn't meant to be yours. Otoh I'm a 27yo French countryside punk, what do I know? :)

(Lastly, lots of guys look stunning in dresses and everybody telling you the contrary is a bad liar)

PS: nice username

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ihitrockswithammers t1_j8qudld wrote

> I'm a 27yo French countryside punk, what do I know? :)

All of the things ;0)

Thanks! I'm finding it really difficult tbh, how to know what is authentically me and what is the result of all those years of the world telling me who I am. Queer theory says gender is performative but I didn't respond well to my training in the masculine stage show. Some people do, and are quite comfortable in that space, and more power to them, but finding another path is challenging when most of the people you care about are deeply uncomfortable with it and angrily try to push you off it and back on to the traditional one.

How do people in the country feel about punks?

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NehEma t1_j8s1no6 wrote

It is fucking difficult. You have to find out what makes you the happiest while dealing with losing a lot of your role models which tend to react disappointingly to all your endeavours.

First and foremost: the naysayers are wrong.

Do you have some supportive people around you? If you happen to need some, and are ok with that person being me, my DMs are open and you would be welcomed.

I've been so damn lucky to have had some supporting close friends who spent a whole lot of energy to cheer me up and reassure me. Now they're my dear family ♥

Some people have a very detailled plan about what will make them happy and what they'll need to do to get it. You don't seem to have that, I don't either, and tbh I think most people are in the same case... I just tried as much things as I could and kept what seemed to work best for me. I had some tries at being a guy, then a high femme phase, now I've stabilized a bit somewhere between butch and androgynous. It is ok to doubt yourself, admit than something was just a phase, and test weird stuff :)

People tend to react a bit weird to me because of my looks (tattoos, piercings, colorfull hair, etc) and because I'm a tad socially awkward but it's almost always a matter of first impressions rather than direct hostility. Often they're very confused about whether I'm a dude or a woman but it's been a constant during my whole life so I'm getting the hang of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

edit: 'Cause if it becomes too easy/ Friend, you'll start to lose your punch

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ihitrockswithammers t1_j8sxde6 wrote

I have a great friend who's also a trained make up artist, and her mum used to dress the stars in movies in the '70s, she's been amazing. My employer was always like the big brother I never had but he seems to be struggling with it now. I really appreciate that, thankyou.

Yeah it's all about community, we're lost on our own, most of us anyway.

I have an idea of what I want, not so much how to get there. I've been making sculptures for the last 20 years, that's been my lifeblood. I feel deeply connected to the things I make, which helps, but it's not enough in the long run. It's human connection and partnership I need to find.

I'm similar, in some ways I'm very masculine, others quite femme, though it's my feminine side that's the hardest to express. I've been having my beard lasered off cause it's such a huge barrier to feeling like myself. Still very heavy stubble around my mouth and I hate it, makes me look like the thug I am definitely not. And that in turn seems to influence the kind of potential partners I attract.

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genuinely_insincere t1_j8n2ssp wrote

Sometimes things can be indirectly motivating. This isn't telling you go out there and get shit done. But it is telling you to look Inward and get things done inside.

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