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bsteineman t1_isssffz wrote

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a swing set when she was little?

Neither did she.

202

cheucklate t1_istf4my wrote

I never heard this joke.

Neither did she.

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Leftygoleft999 t1_isth1q8 wrote

Helen Keller worked at a bar.

The bar owner loved her work even though she routinely insulted every customer.

He said it’s a good thing to employ those with extreme diss abilities.

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Kyrroti t1_istkvte wrote

Could you put a blind and deaf child into a swingset with straps and stuff? I assume you could, but I think you’d want to somehow convey that’s it’s safe and intentional to the child.

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caffeinex2 t1_isszxbl wrote

A great time to plug https://helenkellersimulator.org/

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elpajaroquemamais t1_ist78cq wrote

Not accurate. She wouldn’t see black. She’d see nothing.

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crono141 t1_isteprv wrote

You're not wrong, but this is a real hard concept for sighted people to understand.

3

jabby88 t1_isu1ntm wrote

Try to picture what the back of your head sees.

1

Itchy_Notice9639 t1_istai20 wrote

Dafuq ?

1

IconXR t1_istfm3d wrote

It’s a Hellen Keller simulator. What’s confusing?

1

Itchy_Notice9639 t1_istgrsq wrote

First time that i was hoping to get rickrolled , and instead i got a healthy dose of dark humour, nonetheless, thank you

3

Tim-oBedlam t1_ist4ccj wrote

what's the definition of endless love?

Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis

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Aeosin15 t1_istap3d wrote

Actually, whoever is receiving serve would probably be scoring because the server would double-fault every time. Otherwise, the server would get lucky and hit one and probably score. Regardless, it would actually end up being a rather quick match, even though they'd end up playing first to 7 in every set.

Your joke is funny as hell, though.

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plateau1999 t1_ist5mpx wrote

Why can’t Helen Keller drive?

Because she’s a woman.

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TomAto314 t1_istbv4a wrote

I also like the alternate punchline: "Because she's dead."

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RutCry t1_istecko wrote

Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he’s married.

11

antimatterz3r0 t1_issqpya wrote

Here's a pretty dirty Hellen Keller joke. Q: Why does Helen Keller get off using only one hand? A: So she can moan with the other one.

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Middleway_Natural t1_isswtk7 wrote

Lol but she wasn’t mute

10

IHkumicho t1_ist3sy2 wrote

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was Arrroughmaromoorrowaughgibt.

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Loduwijk t1_ist8i0d wrote

Oh? Are you suggesting she could audibly speak?

−7

NoneOfThisIsFine t1_ist9if7 wrote

She could speak

5

BigPanda71 t1_istigv0 wrote

She could “speak,” but conveniently only one person could understand and translate for her.

1

Loduwijk t1_isuefns wrote

Wow. I couldn't understand most of her words, but some of them were indeed decipherable. I don't think that was sufficient to live by, more like a first season student of a new language who couldn't get by in the country in question, but still... wow that's still impressive given her obstacles to overcome.

Amazing. Thank you for sharing.

1

MaddytheUnicorn t1_ist9u5g wrote

Yes, she could. She was a traveling lecturer and motivational speaker. Here’s the Helen Keller wiki.

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Loduwijk t1_isup18i wrote

I've watched multiple videos of her "speaking" now. The only speeches that are understandable are the ones that are reenactments - that is, when it's not really her speaking. In the real videos sometimes a few words seem distinguishable, but generally it's not.

She had someone tell people what she was saying, using the excuse "for people with hearing disabilities who would have a difficult time hearing her". Really, it seems more like it's disingenuous.

She is amazing and overcame a mountain, and that's awesome. I still don't believe she was an audible speaker. That's completely fine. Millions of people have non-audible languages as their primary language.

1

Aeshaetter t1_isteubl wrote

How did Helen Keller learn to play with herself?

Trying to read her own lips.

5

OBVWXLF OP t1_ist51oe wrote

How do Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Aeosin15 t1_istazh5 wrote

How do you know that's punishment? Maybe she likes it.

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jaymac1337 t1_isteskr wrote

The punchline I heard was, "they rearrange the furniture"

6

FabulousProfessor651 t1_ist6huj wrote

How did Helen Keller burn her face? She answered the iron.

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mastefka t1_istdlb9 wrote

How’d she burn the other side? They called back

11

IndyPoker979 t1_istazq5 wrote

Did you know she had a horse?

Yeah neither did she.

6

Someordinaryguy1994 t1_issyhd4 wrote

A guy walked into a bar. He woke up with a concussion

5

Jay-Five t1_istejbx wrote

Two guys walk into a bar, you’d think the second guy would have seen it and stopped.

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_arglebargle_ t1_istdhyn wrote

Helen Keller walked into a bar

Ouch

4

Punkeewalla t1_ist9ohn wrote

Helen Keller fell off a cliff. She screamed and screamed till her hands turned blue.

3

2723brad2723 t1_istgad5 wrote

I did not see that coming

3

fazbem t1_isujt9c wrote

Neither did she.

​

(You're welcome.)

1

goaheadcarvell t1_istlkic wrote

My daughter and I drove past a sign in Virginia that said “School for the deaf and Blind”.

She read the words out loud.

I said, “what?”.

She read it again.

I said “where?”

3

seastories77 t1_istnue6 wrote

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

Reading a stop sign doing 60.

3

Loduwijk t1_ist8811 wrote

I think this one was posted in the last few days.

2

Aeshaetter t1_istejrh wrote

What was Helen Keller's favorite childhood game?

Musical chairs.

2

ProfessionalVolume93 t1_isthkxd wrote

This joke is a genuine antique. I wonder if it's gaining in value. No one under 50 would understand it.

2

Abmahano t1_isthl12 wrote

She burnt her fingers when she tried to read the waffle toaster.

2

naginarb t1_istmh2j wrote

Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.

2

ktsktsstlstkkrsldt t1_istofuh wrote

Removed? Really?

2

darknsSs512 t1_istpqla wrote

So weird, like .. I have seen some dark shit on this sub, but jokes on blind people ? No no, here is the line.

2

Flodo_McFloodiloo t1_istphom wrote

I saw this sort of punchline coming.

Because I’m not Hellen Keller.

2

getshteve t1_istd5km wrote

Do you know why she wore tight pants?

So people can read her lips 😏

1

hitlersticklespot t1_istfv09 wrote

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away? You would too if your name was Blahhhuuummmfgggjj

1

seastories77 t1_isto0pc wrote

Why were Helen Keller's legs yellow?

Her dog was blind too.

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Schult34 t1_istgzbu wrote

Then a brothel

1

NarrativeNerd t1_istjsro wrote

Helen Keller was kicked off the basketball team.

She kept holding the ball because she was reading it.

1

mcarterphoto t1_istn5nm wrote

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with two hands?

She uses one to moan.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

Trying to read the waffle iron.

1