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artamonovg t1_iy22u2z wrote

As a teen in the early 1990s I lived across the road from an elderly couple, easily in their 80s if not their 90s.

One time my mum asked me to go over and help them with something in their yard, I can not remember what now, and while the lady was telling me what she needed done, she let out easily the loudest and longest fart I had ever heard.

She did not bat an eyelid, just kept on talking.

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Remoru t1_iy2ezk7 wrote

I was also a teen in the early nineties. One time I was at a craft store with my mom and I heard these loud noises from the next aisle over, sounded kinda like someone was scootching a big shelf so, being curious, I went to look: there was just an old man standing there releasing a symphony of ham blasts the likes of which I've never heard before or since. I damn near collapse in laughter, go back to my aisle and tell my mom what was happening: she was not amused.

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Northstar1989 t1_iy39b74 wrote

>she was not amused.

Maybe because it's really a poverty thing?

Old people get prescribed Hearing Aids, but can't afford to use them because of ridiculous price-gouging on the batteries.

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Remoru t1_iy4izau wrote

I think her lack of amusement was more of a "my mother has never cared for toilet humor and especially didn't care for her teen son laughing uncontrollably in a public space" thing. My recall of an event that happened about thirty years ago may be imperfect but I'm fairly certain the old man in question was fully aware of what he was doing, he just didn't give a shit about the noise he was making. I'm not certain how old you are but I'm finding that as I age, I'm similarly having less shits to give about certain etiquette protocols. That said, yeah: poverty is a serious issue and we should collectively do a better job of supporting each other.

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redneckhotmess t1_iy5fznb wrote

Most mothers are not amused by toilet humor, or their offspring laughing uncontrollably in public about either toilet humor or old people. Just sayin'. Source- am mother of boys.

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reflectiveseventies t1_iy3fn5x wrote

Go to Costco. 10 bucks for a pack of 48 size 312.

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raz0rsh4rp t1_iy3k48j wrote

Why get new batteries at all? The TV volume goes up to 100!

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No_Primary_44 t1_iy3wush wrote

And this is why Gramps will get bluetooth headphones for christmas

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TaikaJamppa t1_iy4cnyg wrote

#What did you say? Huh! I can’t hear you! This thing must be outta battery again!

  • grandpa, probably.

Sadly my grandpas/-moms, from both mom’s and dad’s side, have already passed… last one, the one grandma I grew up with and loved, passed late last year, I recall September…? And grandpa, whose last car I inherited as well, passed when I was starting my 2nd year in vocational college, in summer of 2014. Mom’s mom passed before I was born, same year in fact, and dad’s dad I never met, but had a few words (he literally asked to get my dad to phone).. that’s all.

TLDR: keep your loved ones close for as long as you can! I almost let go of granny near the end… too early.

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Mewlies t1_iy3v6t4 wrote

Many have proprietary batteries that you are better off ordering a whole new pair of hearing aids and hope your insurance will agree to pay for a new pair. In USA at least many insurance companies have limits on medical supplies per year like orthopedic shoes, optical glasses/contacts, hearing aids, walking assistance devices, etc.

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VintageSoul0521 t1_iy56isf wrote

Three things I hope to continue doing in my golden years are seeing, hearing and eating. Guess what Medicare doesn’t cover: glasses, hearing aids or dental! You pay for extra coverage for the three things most seniors need. I guess they think we can’t see or hear that we’re getting screwed :/

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Mewlies t1_iydgyv7 wrote

In many States the State is are required to Offer a Listing of Low to No Cost Medicare/Medicaid Part C and/or Part D Provider listings. Which in some States they must provide at least $500 to $1000 Coverage for Each of Vision, Hearing, and Dental.

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ScionOfLucifer t1_iy3r8q4 wrote

Hearing this is so sad, as I can get free batteries delivered to me whenever I need them. I'm in my 20's, but I couldn't live without them - at least not easily - so I hate to think of anyone having to go without.

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thatguyther21 t1_iy4a8p7 wrote

Hearing has nothing to do with feeling. Just cuz you can’t hear it, doesn’t mean you can’t feel the pressure release and vibrations.

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ScionOfLucifer t1_iy4aqhf wrote

Heh? Dude, I'm talking about scalping old people with hearing aid batteries. They're so important for me to live comfortably, get around in public easily, and my hearing is luckily stable at my level of loss - I find it despicable that people have to go without because they're too expensive.

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Sparegeek t1_iy4f0ux wrote

My father in law gets free batteries from his hearing aidcompany. They mail them directly to him whenever he needs them.

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lulugingerspice t1_iy5ct06 wrote

Story time.

My cousin was a kid in the late 80s/early 90s. She went to church with our grandma one time, and during one of the silent "Let's think about Jesus" moments, the old man sitting next to them farted.

My cousin leaned over to grandma and whispered, "Grandma, that man just farted."

One thing to note about my grandma is that she has always hated the word "fart". She thinks it's a very impolite word. She prefers "fluff". So grandma leans in to whisper back to my cousin, "No, he fluffed."

My cousin, never one to be corrected, especially where farts are concerned, insisted, "Grandma, no, he farted."

Grandma once again tries to softly correct her, "No sweetie, he fluffed."

My cousin then jumped up in the middle of the silent church and yelled "Grandma, that man just big ol' farted!"

My grandma says she almost died of embarrassment right at that moment lol.

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DaveJ00 t1_iy59t8z wrote

As you get older you fart more. Remember that. This is your fate

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WarExciting t1_iy5uxya wrote

I’ve already started…. I’m in my mid 40’s and every time I use a urinal I follow the flow with a fart. Being a human is ridiculous sometimes.

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SupersuMC t1_iy6k3nu wrote

In my late-mid 20's and my farts are getting stinkier and stinkier.

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Meet_Downtown t1_iy5worl wrote

" symphony of ham blasts" has been added to my personal lexicon.

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Peckish_Alystar t1_iy4o2n7 wrote

>she was not amused.

4 year old me in the grocery store with my mama. I'm sitting in the little seat in the buggy. She walks us over to an aisle alone to let one rip in secret. It was silent, to her great relief. Until I smelt it and piped up as loud as any 4 year old can : EWWWW MAMA YOU FAAARRRRRTEDDDDD!!! She also was not amused. She grabbed me out of the cart, took her purse and walked straight out the door.

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supercyp666 t1_iy29i8k wrote

I think that's a privilege you earn when you reach that age. I remember my grandma walking down the hallway and farting numerous times as she did without a care in the world

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Time4aWhiskey t1_iy2mz4a wrote

Lmao the good ol walking farts. Every step is a percussion event

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as1126 t1_iy38oo6 wrote

Flight attendants refer to it as crop dusting

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TGW_2 t1_iy3up00 wrote

What!?! She told me it was a 'squeaky board' in the hallway???

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Mewlies t1_iy3vk41 wrote

Had a grandmother that joked that she was gas powered and that the exhaust meant her engine was still running.

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Fabulous-Ad-5284 t1_iy5rtsc wrote

We refer to that as quacking in our house. And yes, I am able to track my mom's movements as she goes about the house based on the way the sound carries and changes, lol. No smell, just noise. Once I hit my 30s, I started doing it too, and Hubby found it hilarious. Said it's like living with a pair of ducks.

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daimemo t1_iy2pu94 wrote

My grandpa lost control of his bladder as his age progressed. For the first few years he was ashamed every time he peed himself in public, but after 10 years with that, he didnt even bat an eye when he started urinating in the middle of dinner. Finished the story he was telling, got up, went to the toilet and changed his diapers. Would have helped me alot if he had also closed the toilet door...

Edit: typos.

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anon2282 t1_iy3d2ky wrote

Can confirm this happened to me multiple times also as a child in the 90s.

Not sure if that's just what happens when you get older or if it was just that that generation didn't talk about farts.

Either way i am VERY much looking forward to whatever age i need to be to rip farts mid sentence without having to explain myself.

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Mikesaidit36 t1_iy3vyml wrote

As I get older, I’m wondering if this is the case: Old people don’t lose the ability to control their farts. They just don’t GAF what people think anymore.

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L015 t1_iy463b8 wrote

I'm older, 65, and for me personally, I don't care much what others think. I've done my time repressing my thoughts and my farts. Time is short and I have aches and pains I can't control. Not going to put up with gas pain I can release.

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Xurroz t1_iy4eofa wrote

My old neighbor who passed away a year or two ago would scoop up his dogs poop. He would bend over for it often time letting out a fart. We were talking outside one time and while he was scooping his dogs poop and he lets a very long and rumble fart. He quickly straightens up and says “we’ll shit, I can’t blame this one on the dog” he walked back inside his home with a growing wet spot on his rear.

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mayoforsam t1_iy3ha5y wrote

I think older folks tend to have significant piles which can accentuate the air flow as gas passes through the not-so-tight-anymore sheriff's badge , bit like blowing over a blade of grass held between your thumbs to make a trumpet sound?

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ThedapperGeek t1_iy4n0hk wrote

At some point you just stop giving a fuck and release that pressure when it needs to be released

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bateees t1_iy4tz14 wrote

because if she held it in it could lead to acid reflux pain and wind up going to the hospital i've experienced it before

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NewsJunkie4321 t1_iy5g63z wrote

I constantly rip farts whenever I need to. A lot of crop dusting going on

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