Botj have totally different definitions for a blowjob.

[removed]

Either way i get my rocks off.

One gives you head, the other loses her head

Sad but true!

Yes, but fortunately the prevalence is rather low. According to the article below it's about once per year. https://blogs.loc.gov/law/2021/04/falqs-execution-by-stoning-and-privacy-laws-related-to-sexual-crimes-in-iran-and-afghanistan/

Once per year it's already jumping my boundaries.

Iranian girl can get an abortion.

Poor taste.

The real tragedy is in the comments.

One of them is cheap to buy

Oh.

https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2022/01/iran-repeal-crippling-new-anti-abortion-law-un-experts

One is really hot, the other is American

One thinks they are opressed, one is actually opressed

?

American girls love handbags, Iranian girls live in bags…we are the same

The Iranian girl gets sexed before stone. Got it.

A blowjob, when they suck your d**k, but I guess the Iranian one is an explosion

They might have different definitions for a blow up doll as well.

🤓Um actually they come from a different country🤓

Ir girls suddenly cut rel

About 3 teeth

about 200 lbs

Until a certain age of the fetuse yes

Iranian girl has free healthcare

The book of Leviticus says "if a man lay with another man as he would with his wife, he must be stoned"

That is why California legalized Gay Marriage and possession of marijuana at the same time

American women have hairless cats 🤷‍♂️

(That has 2 meanings)

american one uses handcuffs for fun

True, but it’s fucking Iran so there’s that, while in the land of the free, we have abortion refugees fleeinf certain states

The American girl had active shooter drills at school.

[removed]

It's a defensive reaction to a bad situation called 'humor' Many 'jokes' skirt the borders of decency. Few good ones cross that line back to socially acceptable 😇 This one may have difficulty seeing that border with binoculars, but it is still funny to many and highlighting social injustice.

Holy shit you fucking killed her

Bro lol.

You owe me a coffee

Henry the 8th always got head

Is America just “default country” in this joke?

It actually says “if a man lay with child as he would his wife” but it was changed some time during the 1900s

That’ll come in handy after a nice stoning to death.

I won't argue the point as I am not old enough to have read it back then. But I am down with dropping a big fucking rock on anyone's balls that would do that to a kid

Wtf is wrong w you

That was too specific, are you Iranian?

Wasn’t Mary a pre teen when she married a middle aged Joseph?

Ooof

I did not say iran is a good country

As residents of Iran I fucking hate it

Owwwwwwww

Teen, definitely. I'm not sure about pre-teen.

But keep in mind that pretty much all women/girls were married off pretty much once they were physically fertile in those days. You can't judge it by today's standards.

Additionally my understanding is that Joseph was either already widowed or had never married and his idea was just to take Mary as a "wife" to support her because no one else would and he wasn't even intending to expect any marital relations from her. However I don't remember where I got this idea from so it very easily could have been some revisionist teaching that isn't supported by the actual Church.

Most Americans would have much greater access to this than Iranians.

Iran actually lives under theocratic rule. Some Americans claim they do, or fear that they will, but they should look at somewhere like Iran and realize where they actually stand.

What the hell are "abortion refugees"?

Take your doom boner somewhere else or learn how to actually use the word refugee

The Iranian girl might be a shooter.

Nooo I don't have free healthcare, abortion laws in a few states is against us and Anna in Netherlands got better unemployment benefits. Iran is clearly superior than USA for Women.

Iranian girls have less contacts with firearms than American girls

I’m referring to women having to cross state lines just to get an abortion

I hope you’re not imagining a bunch of 5 months old fetuses running arount trying to escape Florida

Depends on which Americans we're talking about

I wasn't imagining that although that's what your phrasing sounded like.

Crossing state lines to get an abortion, and then returning home afterward, does not make one a "refugee".

Benefits and free stuff have nothing to do with oppression.

Abortion tourism is a booming market

I have a Vulgate from the 18th century which says, Lev. 18:22, "Cum masculo non commiscearis coitu femineo quia abominatio est". This means, "May you not engage in womanly sex with a male, because it is an abomination." No reference of stoning, no reference of a man with his own child.

It doesn't actually seem to be an injunction against homosexuality per se in the Latin, rather against being the passive partner, which was the philosophy of homosexuality for the Greeks as well.

That's literally the joke that I commented lmfao you think I'm being serious?

Uh oh, the CIA is getting ready to invade Iran and they’re softening us up for it on social media.

You took the same concept about a pun on stoning and sex and made it way funnier and way less offensive lol

Too soon

This got serious.

You are right that Americans have greater access.

But they are heading in the same direction as Iran.

Americans have been fighting it for a long time. Over ruling of roe vs. Wade has this fight even longer.

If both iranian and Americans are fighting the same fight, right now, I believe Iran has a better chance right now.

One regime change vs. A lengthy case that goes through all the courts? Yes, Iran has better hopes.

Damn hahaha holy shit. Laying next to my Iranian (Kurdish) girlfriend while reading this. I think I’m going to just keep this one to myself lmao.

No, you're missing my point. America is not at all "heading in the same direction." We're not fighting the same fight either. America is not and never will be under the kind of oppressive theocratic rule that Iran suffers, despite what your chosen media tries to scare you with.

I think using US here is required to not distract the reader with unknowns. Widespread weed usage is a well-known fact, or at least stereotype, about the US, but would you know if it's the same with, say, Korea?

You mean I could earn some money as a CIA agenda bot?

ayooooo, shots fired.

What's the difference between American schoolchildren and Iranian schoolchildren?

Iranian kids die outside school while American kids die in school.

Aren't y'all the same?

It’s dangerous and ahistorical to believe that American democracy is invincible and that fascism or theocracy could never happen here.

And it's objectively false to believe we're in any imminent danger of it right now

That’s a bold claim presented with no evidence or argument.

That's because the claim I'm refuting wasn't presented with any evidence or argument either. There's no burden of proof on my statement here. So it's really not that bold of a claim.

.. Or a dude lol

100lbs

Considering we just saw an attempted insurrection by a very popular American fascist and former president and we rolled back abortion rights, I don’t think discussion of the fragility of American democracy in the face of the religious right is too off-base.

But you’re clearly more interested in downvoting and dismissing than discussion, so have a good one and stay insulated.

Gross

That was Washington in 2012. California didn’t vote to legalize weed until 2016, which was more than a year after the SCOTUS legalized same sex marriage for the entire country.

One girls unemployed, one has hajob

I don't think you know what fascism means, and we "rolled back" rights that never existed anyway according to our Constitution, not because of any religious anything, so I don't know why you're afraid of the "religious right".

I'm downvoting bad takes and dismissing illogical arguments, as is the purpose of the downvote button. I'm trying to have discussion but that requires the other person to make logically valid points too which isn't happening.

One girls unemployed, one has hajob

Trump is definitely a wannabe fascist and his authoritarian tendencies and constant scapegoating of minority populations while harkening back to a mythical time of American greatness and emphasizing might is right from the fascist playbook. You can blithely claim it ain’t so, but that doesn’t mean everyone else is going to forget what they’ve seen.

And if you think that the religious right has nothing to do with the battle over abortion rights in the US, then you simply have not been paying attention and should not be speaking on the matter.

So no, you’re just downvoting stuff you don’t want to hear.

That sounds made up.

Well, yeah, that's like all of the bible.

Didn't women recently lose abortion rights in many states of the US?

On second thought, considering the amount of deliberate alive baby killing in the bible (like 1 Samuel 15:3), I guess it's reasonable to argue it's not just theocratic oppression.

Yes, you could say that, but you can't "lose" something you never had anyway and our Supreme Court ruled that there never was any such "right" granted by the Constitution.

Both can be oppressed, in different ways and different levels of severity.

I was being silly. But thank you for clarification

Heaven forbid there be inaccuracies in the timeline of a joke

Wow. I am impressed by all the biblical and legal scholars here in r/jokes

I might not be completely clear on the nuances of the situation, but would it then be fair to say they still lost right even if it wasn't constitutional?

Actually, I simply plagiarized a joke I heard somewhere else without giving credit to the source, since I don't even remember where I heard it in the first place

Edit. Grammer

Funny joke and all, but it actually says BOY, not 2nd man.

Iraq: It’s What’s For Dinar

I am not asking about theocratic rule. I am saying this about rights to abortion. The way I see it, right now, the difference between iranian girls and american girls is minuscule and still the iranians are ahead. That's why I said...

Iranian girl can get an abortion.

Gross

The term gaslighting is over-used on the internet, but this really does take the cake.

From what I’ve heard, that was a mistranslation of the Germanic Bible where, when correctly translated, says if man lay with boy as he would with his wife, he must be stoned”

Whole book is made up my guy

We're going to need a lot of stones for the Catholic clergy then

[deleted]

Women, particularly white women are in no way oppressed in western society.

Women's rights to reproductive care and abortion were revoked less than a year ago in a Western country.

The problem with that belief, is the current public education system is so bad most of todays kids get the majority of their education from jokes and memes.

r/ATBGE

Why do you think Justin Trudeau legalized weed here in Canada

Darn tootin

You either knocked over the whole coffee or the serving size was one mouthful.

I'd like a credible source for this because, while I'm not at all religious, I will repeat this fact every chance I get. But I need to know it's true.

Thanks for this useful contribution. /s

No, thank you for completely diminishing the impact on American womens’ bodily autonomy, and denying that this is a remotely concerning move.

Small cup that Italians have.

Most Americans can, and I don't live in Iran but I'm pretty sure that would be very much illegal under their actually theocratic government.

Isn't that what I just said?

They lost a "right" that never was a right to begin with. So yes, you can say that they lost that right but you cannot say it's a bad thing because now we have the correct situation the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't do that though.

I never said the first thing about anyone's bodily autonomy, chiefly because that isn't relevant to this discussion since it isn't affected by restricting abortion. I certainly never denied that it was a concerning move. I just said it's not as bad as some of you doom scrollers are making it sound and certainly not as bad as an actually theocratic country like Iran.

Go back and read the actual words that I actually said and respond only to those, not to whatever you think I said or want me to have said to fit your chosen narrative that makes me your opponent.

Canada could fit… that’s about it tho. Lol

They cant

Correct answer. And you're probably the main attractor at every party. Why is it that people giving are you so many down votes?

Bodily autonomy isn’t affected by restricting abortion? You just keep digging yourself deeper. American government is literally limiting access to healthcare for women for ideological and religious reasons. As has been demonstrated in the last few months, those who achieved this limitation do not wish to stop at restricting abortion access (and there is now clinical data on how the change in law has risked the lives of women unnecessarily). So arguing that America is not heading down a road where rights are curtailed and risked due to religious beliefs is ignoring the obvious, no matter how dismissive you wish to be.

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Wait, so who were the gay dude's banging then??

True, it shouldn't happen at all.

But people forget that there are also a small number of American women who are murdered every year by their boyfriends/husbands out of jealousy or anger.

I know that's the really weird contradiction about it. The way the Greeks worked around it was to encourage the passive partner to be an adolescent, because it was thought that it would be even more dishonourable for an adult man to be in that position. This is in Foucault's History of Sexuality.

[deleted]

Amsterdam...

Whores are paid but sluts have more fun.

So it's fine if you don't have vaginal sex with another guy.

>95% of the time women do not get pregnant without having already exercised their bodily autonomy. The choice already happened.

Abortion is not healthcare. It can't be, by definition, because it literally destroys life. This is a known fact of science, so please don't try and argue with it.

These limitations are not coming from religious reasons though. The Supreme Court explained why Roe v Wade was wrong in the first place and why they overturned it and none of this is necessarily about religious reasons. The limitations came from Constitutional reasons, which is what the Court is supposed to do.

That's why I'm arguing that nobody is restricting rights for religious reasons, because they're not.

Edit: Grammar. LoL

You are incredibly ignorant and incredibly wrong. Care to share where your knowledge of pregnancy and abortion comes from? I’m going to take a wild guess you don’t work in maternity - handily enough I do.

Abortion absolutely is healthcare. Do you know even remotely what you’re talking about it? Do you know abortifacients are used when a miscarriage does not happen fully, when there’s an ectopic or extra uterine pregnancy, when a pregnancy cannot be continued for maternal or foetal medical reasons?

Do you understand the risks to a woman’s life and long term health where pregnancy is concerned, especially a complex or high risk pregnancy?

Do you know that abortion laws in some states are preventing doctors from treating women with intrauterine death, risk of sepsis, women who need chemotherapy or urgent abdominal surgery or other conditions not compatible with continuing pregnancy, or extremely early labour well before the point of viability even though those babies cannot survive?

Are you saying that 98% of pregnancies are consensual and planned? If so, there wouldn’t be much call for abortion would there, aside from termination for medical reasons, so why restrict it? Obviously you’re absolutely incorrect on that point, of course - but we can get into a discussion on how pregnancy occurs and therefore who is in control of that if you like.

It’s entirely disingenuous to say that the reasons are not religious, as you well know.

What’s wrong with him? More like what’s wrong with Iran. Maybe ask your husband if you can have a sense of humor.

Yeah, but the subject here was about being stoned which doesn't relate with the way American women are being murdered.

[removed]

Right, your constitution has never been wrong about anything - that’s why it has never been amended! Oh…

That's not what I said at all. But that means it isn't wrong unless and until so amended.

I'm glad you realize that the correct way to get the "rights" you want in this country is by an amendment.

Cubans have

I don’t live in your country, but hopefully you understand the difference between a “right” and a “constitutional right”. Bragging that the same rights afforded to women in far less developed countries aren’t in your constitution isn’t the mic drop you seem to think it is.

Aww. Is this a date?

[removed]

Yet again, that's not what I said. Please stop trying to argue with me if you can't even understand what it is I have actually stated.

I loved the joke.

We take things too serious.

Thanks for the joke.

Good Cuban cigar and a coffee. Good life.

ok im iranian and im not getting it

You should have seen it before I fixed it

LoL. Just messing around.

I heard it, retold it (poorly) and if I had any idea of where I heard it originally I would have given them credit. Only that person may correct my errors

"The statement above was for satirical purposes only"

Me too. That is what makes this sub so fun I usually laugh more at the comment section than the be actual jokes

Sometimes you have to take deep breaths and smile 😁

That's probably a wise move.

Yeah same here

A heavy rock would work. But I think a dull knife or really strong laser would be more permanent... or maybe even a spoon.

Probably between 14 and 16. But nobody knows for sure... That was a common age for marriage (for women) at that time.

False. Pretty much everything in the Bible has been verified by archaeology and science. Do some research...

Big oof

My understanding is that it's based on archeological research and discovered written documents showing the general age of married woman at the time. I am sure that nothing in the Bible referenced her age (or that of any other woman at marriage).

I re-tell every joke badly. Lol

But many of them sure think they are!

Completely and unequivocally false.

If they're from a freedom-loving (constitutional) state, they are likely fully trained in gun safety and have two or three of their own. If from a suppressed state like new York or calif, then they are terrified that the guns locked up in some imaginary neighbor's gun safe will somehow break it and go on a killing spree.

Instead of stoned to death afterwards in Iran. Of course just accusing her might do the job …

West needs to stay out of other cultures. Let's not forget all the leftists that tried to go to the soccer game wearing rainbows and got kicked out. People need to respect other people's cultures.

I think oppression hiding under the mask of “culture” is still oppression and we should be against it.

I'd love some guidance on where to look for that. Specifically the walking on water and parting the Red Sea. I have a lake in the middle of my commute that takes almost a half hour to get around. I'd rather just go over or through that bitch

American girl has sex before marriage and a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of getting a marriage proposal from the man who F—-d (how do I say this nicely?) her.

ha ha and if it was the same joke but about sex dolls the american one dosnt blow itself up?

Dad jokes for 200 Alex

I agree. But what do you consider oppression in that country?

Abortion or not having access for contraceptives?

One of them is a doll.