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windmillninja t1_j9aqecg wrote

“Bless your heart” if you’re from the south

141

Mike102072 t1_j9av94b wrote

Inside every bless your heart is a tiny little fuck you.

59

wiltedham t1_j9ck60p wrote

In Canada, we say "okay there bud."

It's our way of saying "fuck you"

15

ambermage t1_j9e3jyo wrote

I'm not your "bud," guy.

1

wiltedham t1_j9e4nue wrote

I'm not yer guy, pal

5

groverjuicy t1_j9eb91e wrote

Yeah, nah. Cheers cunt.

Greetings from Oz!

1

wiltedham t1_j9ec3kt wrote

I work with a ton of aussies, I get called a cunt more often than not. I was put off, until I went drinking with them, and they explained that "strangers are called mate, your mates are cunts. There's a difference, ya fuckin bogan"

I still don't know what bogan means... do I want to know?

2

groverjuicy t1_j9ed29k wrote

They may be leading you astray, a bogan is a westie, a wanker, trash

If they called you a cunt though then you're alright. They reckon you're OK.

You must be a top cunt. That's good. A low cunt is a fucken dog.

Good on ya.

1

Constantine1900 t1_j9flzvt wrote

It's the same thing for Canadians when we say sorry or excuse me to a stranger/tourist bumping into us or otherwise interferes with us going about our Canadian thing.

1

Sunastar t1_j9e18wq wrote

I have to add a prefix, “Well” and an oh so slight head tilt.

Well (tiny but noticeable pause), bless your heart.

My grandmother, born in 1899, was a Master.

1

jadayne t1_j9ar76i wrote

I would not attend your funeral, my good sir. However, I would very much approve of it.

70

Evasor1152 t1_j9bhpzm wrote

I don't attend any funerals. I mean it's not like they're going to attend mine, right?

13

Killersmurph t1_j9bczph wrote

I'll go you One better. I WILL attend your funeral, and I intend to bring my dancing shoes!

9

hymie0 t1_j9ey11i wrote

If you remember Enron... Apparently a number of people went to Kenneth Lay's funeral "just to make sure".

1

axeman020 t1_j9bkz23 wrote

Not strong enough. Go for "I will not attend your funeral, however I may cause it!"

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ALeaf0nTh3Wind t1_j9gsujn wrote

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

2

MortQ42 t1_j9aqwqt wrote

Have the day you deserve.

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Shreemaan420 t1_j9bkx38 wrote

Reminds me of the time when I made a dua (wish) for someone on reddit saying that may they and their family be treated the same way he treats others" and the guy went all ballestic on me saying that I was wishing ill for him and his family. And this after he had claimed that he and his people were the best thing in the world and never did anything bad and were victims. The irony was truly lost on him.

11

NoaWhan t1_j9bg8q3 wrote

I hope you have the kind of day you inflict on everyone else.

8

Ogodei t1_j9b18ft wrote

I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.

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Ogodei t1_j9b1cyz wrote

You clearly have not been burdened by an overabundance of education.

10

thespidersarmpit t1_j9bzk9y wrote

You brighten my day twice, once when you're going, and again when you're gone

10

BigoteMexicano t1_j9b2f22 wrote

I'm Canadian, today's Monday is a holiday

6

ElectricTurtlez t1_j9b9rej wrote

In the US as well, but it’s the kind of holiday where only school kids, bankers, and government workers get the day off.

2

SEK2410 t1_j9bgu9j wrote

Go Monday yourself!!

6

gottkonig t1_j9boyty wrote

Aw, I miss not knowing you.

6

CFCYYZ t1_j9bcrjb wrote

>"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."

- Groucho Marx

4

Borp5150 t1_j9ark78 wrote

“I think I have had enough of you for this life, goodbye”

3

Earlyriser17 t1_j9aru8i wrote

“I love you….. darling “

3

mightysmiter19 t1_j9awinp wrote

"The only redeeming quality you have is that sometimes you leave the room"

3

Ewetootwo t1_j9bvw61 wrote

Did your mother have any children that lived?

3

itsallalittleblurry t1_j9e45k0 wrote

“I would have missed out on so much by not having known you.”

3

General_Freed t1_j9ar3sd wrote

You'll brighten my Day, as soon as you leave

2

Beastwolf21 t1_j9b8wuw wrote

I will tolerate you for now

2

Exoskeleton00 t1_j9bogop wrote

You're okay..... It's nothing.... No thanks.

2

Carteeg_Struve t1_j9ds14b wrote

“Your presence always makes me appreciate the good times more.”

2

majorlieg t1_j9ezquc wrote

"I look forward to becoming better strangers"

2

Killersmurph t1_j9bd9bs wrote

I can't call you a c*nt, that would be giving you too much credit for warmth and depth...

1

nyrB2 t1_j9bqxqu wrote

i don't like mondays

1

Rafer416 t1_j9ct4ym wrote

Good afternoon!

1

lodenojo t1_j9dl5pp wrote

C U Next Tuesday

1

Upst8r t1_j9dm0is wrote

Some Mondays are holidays - like today.

Happy Tuesday yourself.

1

Akbattletiger t1_j9dq2rf wrote

“I bite my thumb sir” “Do you bite your thumb at me” “No but I do bite my thumb”

1

frostyjhammer t1_j9dsdm8 wrote

“Je te déteste”.

That’s “I hate you” in a Nice way.

1

Opening-Confusion256 t1_j9du9ow wrote

I'm sorry but I need to move on. Your a disability and I can't let an extra chromosome get me down

1

Hyposuction t1_j9dwr4j wrote

In Alaska, it's "Oh really, right on."

1

[deleted] t1_j9dxjo5 wrote

Apparently "goober."

1

Ochib t1_j9ebtci wrote

Some people bring joy into the room when they enter, some bring joy to the room when they leave. Guess which one are you

1

hymie0 t1_j9eybwi wrote

I was in my 40s when I suddenly understood the meaning of

"I'll see you later."

"Not if I see you first."

1

intheyard305 t1_j9ft8kk wrote

I can see your a ...insert leader/president...supporter.

1

ViktorSwimwell t1_j9apqwn wrote

"Will you marry me?" ... Toxic relationships....

0

yearsofpractice t1_j9bt4dj wrote

Used regularly in work conversations - so satisfying:

  • There we are then
  • See you next time/Tuesday/Thursday
0

wiltedham t1_j9ck19g wrote

"May every step you take, stub your toes." -my grandma.

0