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resetmypass t1_j9uzo1v wrote

Reply to comment by lamped86 in LPT: Maintain separate bank accounts when you get married by The_Stein244

If we are sharing anecdotes, I’ve actually seen more problems with completely joint accounts. You get into arguments like “how can you spend so much on shoes” vs “I can’t believe you spent that much on tickets to a game”. You end up discussing every purchase to make sure the other is ok with it and it gets taxing

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Zoltan_Kakler t1_j9v0etu wrote

This is the truth. A lot of people are hung up on the topic as you can see by the comments here. The old-school thought is that all money is pooled as part of marriage, as a requirement for marriage. It is not.

The way we do it is we have our own accounts AND we have a joint account. We pay our household bills and stuff with the joint account. I get to spend my money how I want and we don't ever have to argue about money - it's the best of both worlds.

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lamped86 t1_j9v14tm wrote

A simple "let's discuss any purchases over 'x' amount" could solve that.

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resetmypass t1_j9v28md wrote

That honestly sounds more complicated than having a joint account where you split household needs and then a separate account for individual needs.

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lamped86 t1_j9v35pr wrote

If each spouse puts, say 90% of their income into a join account and the other 10% is theirs to spend as they will, what happens when one spouse makes a significant amount more than the other spouse? Can't see a marriage lasting too long in that situation.

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resetmypass t1_j9v64f8 wrote

I think you need to have an in depth conversation about how to split the percentages into the joint and individual accounts. But once that’s done, the rest is easy.

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lamped86 t1_j9v7fp6 wrote

I don't know how that could be achieved without it being unfair to the one spouse who has to give up a higher percentage of their spending money.

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resetmypass t1_j9v8l2t wrote

As an example, one couple I know has the husband making significantly more. The husband contributes 80% of their earnings so that they both can live in a nice apartment in the nice part of town. The wife contributes 50% of her income and keeps 50% so that she has a similar amount of personal spending. They discussed this and were fine with it.

I think after making this one decision, they no longer have to have discussions each time someone spends more than x amount for a completely joint account

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Carpsack t1_j9vbq66 wrote

If two people who are married can't work out an equitable budget split they probably have bigger issues. The whole point is to discuss and work out what's fair.

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lamped86 t1_j9vc633 wrote

I'd say a marriage who keep their finances separate probably have bigger issues. The whole point of marriage is to become a union.

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Carpsack t1_j9vcshl wrote

I didn't say anything about keeping finances separate?

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stoic_hysteric t1_j9v32dc wrote

That sounds exhausting! I guess I got really lucky with my partner. We are 99% in alignment. We're also a bit flexible and able to meet each other on what we aren't.

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resetmypass t1_j9v5r9n wrote

I think that’s great! Whatever works, works. I do think more ppl have success with separate bank accounts and a joint one for household bills (since most marriages may not be as like minded as yours :))

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