Wait, are we talking about roommates , or spouses? It sounds like you are talking about room mates.

That sounds exhausting! I guess I got really lucky with my partner. We are 99% in alignment. We're also a bit flexible and able to meet each other on what we aren't.

Completely agree. It might make sense to keep an account separate early in the relationship (emergency escape fund) but once you buy a house together? At that point you'd better be on the same page in terms of money values. I trust my partner 100% not to make bad small purchases and to always discuss medium or large ones. It does take the fun out of gift-giving, but good lord is it worth that small loss! You can still surprise each other with an hour long back rub, or having dinner ready when it's not your night, or whatever.