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SteamKore t1_iuhms4y wrote

Reply to comment by doowgad1 in Someone still remembers you as an asshole for something you probably don't even remember doing. by lucius789

Took me WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long to figure this out.

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oldbastardbob t1_iuhqgm9 wrote

The other day there was a LPT recommending that people reminisce about the past whenever feeling down.

Seems it didn't go so well when myself and several others pointed out that ruminating on past crap is the opposite of helpful and is something therapists work at getting patients to learn from, let go of, move on, and hopefully forget about.

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SteamKore t1_iuhra8s wrote

Like in specific cases it's useful, even necessary, but yeah for the most part it's just not great, especially with past traumas.

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iceynyo t1_iuhujc2 wrote

The problem is when people hang on to bad memories... Nothing wrong with reminiscing about the positive stuff. Also nothing wrong with remembering the bad stuff as a lesson, as long as it's not making you sad all the time.

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VigorousFroth t1_iuhweef wrote

Yep, balance is key. Things usually arent as 0% or 100% as Reddit makes it seem. There's nuance to things.

If someone dies its traumatic, yes. but reminiscing with fam and friends about happy times can ease the pain and loneliness you feel after losing someone.

Still hurts, but you don't risk bottling everything up and reaching a point of despair.

Of course it varies from person to person how they handle trauma and the type of trauma inflicted varies, but there's always a way to ease the effects even if it doesn't seem like it in the heat of the moment.

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Skydude252 t1_iuhx27l wrote

Reminiscing about positive stuff can be bad too, past a point. It can be nice to briefly connect with good things that happen, smile remembering them and such. If you become stuck in the past, though, it can keep you from improving your current life. It’s the kind of thing that keeps people stuck in a mindset of a high school athlete when that was the highlight of their life.

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iceynyo t1_iuhz0ng wrote

Yeah that's true... that's basically turning a good memory from the past into a negative emotion in the present.

But yeah anything that keeps you living in the past for any reason would be bad. Unless you've invented time travel I guess.

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