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Eensame t1_iuhn4l2 wrote

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Mustang46L t1_iuhnc9h wrote

Sure, I guess. But this is an almost 50 year old man acting like I actually lobbed insults at his father. šŸ˜‚

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half-witigator t1_iuhwj58 wrote

Tbh your attitude of ā€œI was drunk, itā€™s just a hat, I apologized, itā€™s nbd and what do you want from me?ā€ is probably not winning you any friends. Did you sincerely apologize? Because I donā€™t think you can do that unless you actually feel bad, which you clearly do not. Maybe heā€™s unreasonable and grieving but based on your retelling he hates you, for something you did, and you donā€™t seem all that concerned. Idk you might be the asshole here.

Youā€™re probably almost 50 too. Maybe stop getting black out drunk and bullying the bereaved.

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JarasM t1_iuhymyp wrote

How can he sincerely apologize for something he himself doesn't remember and apparently the other party couldn't explain well themselves? If I remembered being an asshole to somebody I'd feel bad and apologize profusely because I am a nonconfrontational person that is terrified of the thought of someone thinking badly of me, but if I learned of an event that is simply described as offensive which I don't remember, I too would just say something shallow like "I'm sorry if I offended you somehow".

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Bald_Sasquach t1_iuhxosy wrote

Getting black out drunk and bullying the bereaved is all I have left :'(

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Mustang46L t1_iuhydnj wrote

When he showed up on vacation and explained what happened (I sincerely didn't remember it, which to me speaks volumes about how unintentional it was), I apologized sincerely.. multiple times. It was pretty clear he was uninterested in any type of apology, assumed I was an asshole, and just wanted to ensure that everyone on vacation with me knew that he didn't like me or want me to be around. He literally told me about 20x it was his deceased father's hat like it was something I SHOULD have known.

Yes, I'm in my 40s. No, I didn't get blackout drunk I just don't remember this ridiculous conversation. When I drink I talk a lot, not blackout.

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BertieTheBrain t1_iui5r30 wrote

>I just don't remember this ridiculous conversation. When I drink I talk a lot, not blackout.

You're still hand waving away your actions with the drunk defense. You're still responsible for your actions even if you don't remember them.

It's frankly, not believable that you were sincere in your apology with how hard you try to wave it off with being drunk or that you don't remember. Along with other descriptions about how you're happy you're not close to the guy while throwing shade about him saying he whines and is ignorant in your following posts.

Obviously going against the crowd here, but I don't find it believable that you sincerely apologized.

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BertieTheBrain t1_iuhyxv5 wrote

>ā€œI was drunk, itā€™s just a hat, I apologized, itā€™s nbd and what do you want from me?ā€ is probably not winning you any friends. Did you sincerely apologize?

This was glaringly obvious to me. Seems like OP is an ass. "I was drunk my bad, that lets me be a shit person and hand wave away shitty actions I did"

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[deleted] t1_iuhp6wz wrote

[deleted]

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joshthatoneguy t1_iuhrx10 wrote

Yeah but there is such thing as overreacting to a statement. He's allowed to feel upset, but to attempt to break OPs finger over a comment from a year ago is the exact definition of overreacting.

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mik999ak t1_iuhs51x wrote

Yeah, but some recipients need to get a grip

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GooglyIce t1_iui05yn wrote

Especially when oneā€™s choice of wearing one isnā€™t so much of a choice or when insults with the wrong company around can lead to escalation. Even more dire when itā€™s a deceased personā€™s hat or even someone that was misunderstood for being distant. The little things can sometimes be one of the few things we have to cling on to when in time even the memories of lost ones become fading distant memories. It can be very intimidating, not just confrontational for people who have lost the surrounding of company you seem to take for granted.

Did you even bother to ask if there was any sentimental value to it or did you just make assumptions? Personally Iā€™ve seen too much death for me to take a joke as easily as I used to, especially when itā€™s about something in the past when the past is something Iā€™m still having a hard time with to let go of. I mean thereā€™s good reasons for needing therapy sometimes, instead of just mental evaluations or assumptions based on a sliver of understanding of the underlying issues.

Having said that, I used to joke around a lot when it came to the more personal stuff because to me it was a coping mechanism and Iā€™d rather make new fun memories than reminiscing on the painful ones. It was my way of being strong, trying to cheer people up instead of saying sorry all the time. Sorry for your loss doesnā€™t really cut it when hearing it from a stranger after itā€™s already played out. Besides itā€™s confrontational and can be a painful reminder.

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