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TravelWellTraveled t1_ixqajkm wrote

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The face looked through the screen and I wondered what sort of digital trickery put a 40 year old's face on a teenager's body, complete with clothing straight out of hot topic.

"Hello," the raspy voice said, "I'm 18 years old. I started smoking at 12 because I thought it was edgy then I was a social smoker who totally wasn't addicted and only smoked at parties. And at other times." The girl on the screen started walking towards the camera while talking, the smooth steadicam pullback helping the room flow around her. "And then I started smoking when I was stressed out. Which hardly ever happens in high school."

She begins to climb some stairs as she talks.

"Smoking has given me permanently sour breath and it helped age the skin on my face and hands by decades." She smiles and her face breaks into a number of lines.

"Over the years, I've spent so much money on packs of cigarettes that, if you added them all up, I could have bought a car, with cash."

She climbs a few more steps, moving much slower than most teenagers.

"My car, room, and clothes permanently smell like smoke. You can actually smell me coming around the corner. Nonsmokers can't stand to be in the same room with me else their nostrils start burning."

The stairs keep going and she is noticeably flagging.

"And my lung," she stops and starts gasping, "capacity means I can't play sports anymore. I can't have sex on top. I feel like I'm going to faint if I laugh too much."

She stops climbing the stairs and instead just sits down, breathing heavy like she's climbing a mountain. "But still, the brief, ephemeral nicotine buzz has made it all worthwhile," she smiles wide and displays yellow teeth.

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whys0brave t1_ixq3q73 wrote

Everybody knows that no one who is smart, stable, and successful smokes. When you see someone smoking you automatically know that they are struggling. Smokers are not stable in their life. Smokers are not happy in their life. Smoking is self destructive and only appeals to people who cannot comprehend how to cope with life otherwise. Smoking is a huge red flag. People who smoke are undesirable to those who do not. People who smoke are inconsiderate of others as that toxic poison pollutes the air and the streets causing harm to the innocent humans and animals and fish. Smoking is something that people do because at some point they were weak enough to try, despite knowing how horrible and unbeneficial it is, and now they are too weak to stop. Smoking exposes weaknesses. Smoking displays a lack of control over one's own life. Choosing to pay money to those companies is choosing to fund the world's greatest evils. People may not always be honest enough to say it out loud but most people who do not smoke have absolutely have no respect for those who do.

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sharaq t1_ixqm5lh wrote

If the point of this is to illustrate how hyperbolic DARE ads are you really nailed it.

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whys0brave t1_ixrow1t wrote

No use being mad at the truth

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sharaq t1_ixrqyar wrote

I don't smoke and I don't have this ludicrous attitude towards people who smoke, a writing prompt is not a place for your manifesto against things you don't like.

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EyeSprout t1_ixryqgb wrote

If your manifesto happens to perfectly fit the writing prompt whether intentionally or not, it's probably fine lol.

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sharaq t1_ixrz95f wrote

I'm a doctor and I don't even hate smoking as much as you people hate smokers.

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EyeSprout t1_ixrzu8z wrote

What gave you the idea I hate smokers?

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sharaq t1_ixs00zo wrote

The manifesto above is entirely about how inferior smokers are as people and you seem to be pretty on board with it, so that's how i got that impression.

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EyeSprout t1_ixs09eq wrote

... wait, the point was to parody a DARE ad, right?

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sharaq t1_ixs2ocv wrote

Right, like I said, if that was the goal it succeeded, but there's people that unironically say this kind of stuff and I kind of got the feeling that the post was guided by that.

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EyeSprout t1_ixsyt4q wrote

The thing I was trying to say was that if it succeeded in conveying a parody of the DARE stuff, then it's fine, regardless of the actual intention behind the comment? It doesn't matter what the person who wrote the comment thinks, that doesn't stop us from treating it as a parody.

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sharaq t1_ixt1e63 wrote

I agree and disagree. There's nothing stopping people treating anything as a parody, but if the author writes unironically, it literally isn't a parody. I could be hyperbolic and say "we could treat mein kampf as parody, doesn't mean it is", but I think I can find a more contemporary example without having to resort to Godwin's Law.

American Psycho was written as a parody, and is interpreted as such, but the author has admitted that Bateman was a self insert for his own frustration with women and fitting in as a 27 year old (the same age as the character). Its a fascinating character study, but it still bears mentioning that the person who wrote it was fucked in the head. So yes, I don't disagree that a parody can be dissociated from the author, but it also needs to be said that sometimes, people with deeply misanthropic views use parody as a veneer to say what vitriolic opinions they hold while using that veneer as a shield to escape criticism of their strange and disturbing views.

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Tarotgirl_5392 t1_ixqv9tb wrote

My family is super rich. I have seen all my aunts and uncles suffer with some addiction or other. When you have money to burn, no drug is off limits. I can tell you about my uncle, who put meth in his redbull and woke up naked in the gorilla enclosure. Or about my aunt who ate a whole pan of Magic Brownies to try to cure her munchies. She tried to rob the nearest gas station for all its twinkies. My dad was in the ICU for a month after drinking his weight in vodka.

Like I said, when your family is rich, what they do for fun is a little out there.

But I see in your eyes that you're already thinking that won't happen to me. I heard it all before. Cigarettes are legal. It's fine. It's safe. Blah blah blah.

I will give you $100,000 a month for the rest of your life as long as you don't smoke.

So. The money or your life?

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The-Doom-Knight t1_ixqzu9l wrote

raspy, cracking voice My name is Jonathan. I am 17 years old. I had my first cigarette at 13. My friends said it was cool, that all the cool kids smoked. They were right. A lot of big movie stars looked cool while smoking. Arnold Schwartezeggar and his cigars. Clint Eastwood, always so badass. The Smoking Man from The X-Files. James Bond, one of the most suave men in film. Even Sarah Conner and Ellen Ripley. All of them looked so cool.

raises a cigarette, places it in the hole in my throat, and takes a drag.

Smoking is cool... right?

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WTFNotRealFun t1_ixsmdy9 wrote

I read this after I wrote it, and it's SO cringeworthy that I had to share it.

Leaning in for a kiss, he stops just short of the mark.

"Girl, if you don't understand what that crap is doing inside you, think about what it's doing outside. Your breath is terrible, your hair smells, even your clothes stink."

Gasping she responds, "I just brushed my teeth!"

"Well I'm thinking that didn't work. Seriously, I really like you, but this is too much. I guess it doesn't matter to you, but I can't deal with it."

"Are you," she paused mid-sentence then restarted, "Are you breaking up with me? Is that what you're saying? Is it that important to you?"

"You're disrespecting yourself, and if you don't care about you, then why should i? We talked about this before. You are free to do what you please, just maybe not with me."

"Okay, I'll just stop. I won't do it anymore!"

He pauses for a moment, a surprised look on his face. "You would seriously do that this time?"

Stuttering she replied, "Well, well, I would if it's that important to you."

"You know you said this before, right? Right? It really needs to be important to you, and for you."

"Yes I know. I guess I didn't really understand it until now. Please... I promise."

She opens the tiny clutch slung crossways across her body, and removes the remainder of her cigarette pack. Holding it out to him she says, "I'm done with these. How about we walk across to the drug store and I can buy some gum?"

Smiling he replies, "That's a pretty good start!"

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