Submitted by wellthenmk t3_11b0cpu in funny
Comments
SeiCalros t1_j9v91je wrote
close to the end of his life jesus was said to have had a bad case of stigmata on his hands and feet
JCwizz t1_j9xpnud wrote
Stig ma testicles in ya mouth. Got ‘em.
blackgrasshopper t1_ja7swz3 wrote
Ummm...no. only other people could get stigmata which are psychogenic. Jesus got them the hard way.
Lick_my_balloon-knot t1_j9v9tjw wrote
Because he touched a lot of sick people.
24F t1_j9ve5xb wrote
He is self conscious of his tiny little hands.
NightHawkRambo t1_j9wxnw8 wrote
Nobody look nobody look
Eupion t1_j9w0iic wrote
We all know, Jesus just loved playing golf.
KnitPunPurl2 t1_j9wrp39 wrote
Putting balls in holes, repeatedly.
Cold_Pomelo3274 t1_j9xtncl wrote
Times were tough, he had a part time job at Subway.
[deleted] t1_j9xuxmk wrote
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boricimo t1_j9vn03h wrote
Because he was trying to sneak a boob grab but she got him first
EaterOfFood t1_j9wyk5m wrote
Because of all the lepers.
Buddy-Brooklyn t1_j9x6d5n wrote
Didn’t want to touch the lepers.
zombiebender t1_ja019mm wrote
They look like rubber glove maybe he was working security at the time?
Call_Me_Mauve_Bib t1_ja5rksf wrote
Out healing the sick. It was haemorrhoids day.
Adventurous_Shake161 t1_j9vt3fr wrote
Why are you so observant
Call_Me_Mauve_Bib t1_j9x4v0t wrote
Gardening in Gethsemane?
celestarre t1_j9vawy2 wrote
Give him three days.
ares5404 t1_j9vnwmw wrote
Man server lag here is terrible! -jesus, perhaps
bread_makes_u_fatt t1_j9v4ywz wrote
Did someone put leather gloves on the statue?
streakline t1_j9v5o6b wrote
Gotta hide the holes.
Ruhh-Rohh t1_j9w1tvn wrote
Where does one buy statue-sized gloves?
Ghost_on_Toast t1_j9wuvma wrote
Im imagining it involves 3 people who make hot air balloons and a herd of cattle
Raiguard t1_j9wufic wrote
I spent a full minute looking for snakes or whatever before realizing the joke...
snoutpower t1_j9yu6w9 wrote
I still don't get it
50thskyrimfan t1_j9z8ru6 wrote
Medusa turned him to stone
Bulky-Internal8579 t1_j9v8bg7 wrote
Everybody must get stoned!
Chyvalri t1_j9wibkx wrote
Doesn't it just ... POP ... Buddy Christ?
charlie2135 t1_j9vovar wrote
Took me too damn long.
[deleted] t1_j9wiydt wrote
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Successful-Giraffe29 t1_j9writb wrote
So that's where he went
sonicANIME2019 t1_j9xbrmb wrote
Jesus wants a hug!
YteKnight696 t1_j9y0fux wrote
Can't blame him for being thirsty though
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Papichuloft t1_j9vg1u0 wrote
Jesus is still aHead anyway
boricimo t1_j9vn3ur wrote
He didn’t need Medusa to turn rock hard
Papichuloft t1_j9vy2bp wrote
Mary of Magdalene was there.
boricimo t1_j9w49ak wrote
No, Paul is more his type.
youlook3 t1_j9voxj5 wrote
Ooooh so that’s why Jesus haven’t returned yet that makes sense
Adventurous_Shake161 t1_j9vt2db wrote
Nah he will come back, last time he died it took him three days, I think this might take longer.
kunfusedpsyko t1_j9xfj28 wrote
How do we know he didnt turn her into wine at the same time? I don’t see her popping up any more do you?
[deleted] t1_j9xn27l wrote
haha
maffemaagen t1_j9y3yx1 wrote
This implies that Jesus was the size of the statue
Left-Independent651 t1_j9yme30 wrote
Well, in this image, Jesus is 1, but there is no Gorgon Medusa
[deleted] t1_ja044kj wrote
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[deleted] t1_ja137ks wrote
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[deleted] t1_ja1valx wrote
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07tartutic07 t1_j9v7aw5 wrote
That's funny
trash-juice t1_j9vp15x wrote
Blasphemy? Heresy? Either way funny as hell …
D34TH_5MURF__ t1_j9w2tce wrote
Blasphemy, the victimless crime
TheRockiesMan t1_j9w9hp3 wrote
Should've looked at the boobs only
Ironworker_zach t1_j9z1s88 wrote
Why is that white jew from modern day Iran wearing golf gloves?
jly0ns t1_j9z4qsg wrote
This took me longer than it should have 😂
RT9635 t1_j9whsif wrote
He still forgives her look what a inspiration his been the people of south america
wifespissed t1_j9z1ng3 wrote
Reminds of the Jebus on that Puscifer album.
Blunttack t1_j9vzrfu wrote
Thought Medusa had boobs.
Just-War8020 t1_j9v5z18 wrote
Why is he wearing gloves?