Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

AdditionalTheory t1_iu0fxwg wrote

Is just me or is this just terrifying?

41

Alabussy OP t1_iu0gsr7 wrote

Hippos are monsters, dude.

They kill more people in a year than sharks, bears, tigers, and vending machines combined. They can lie in wait – motionless – for hours on end... then launch themselves forward with speed and agility that their massive forms would seem to make impossible. They're also stone-cold murderers with tempers as short as Elon Musk's... well, they're short, that's what I'm saying.

The lion might be "king of the jungle," but the hippopatomus is emperor of Africa.

25

Fishinabowl11 t1_iu1fw5r wrote

Tell me more about these killer vending machines.

11

GarretTheGrey t1_iu1ym4s wrote

When your drink gets stuck, you shake the machine to loosen it, therefore fucking around. More people have been finding out than with sharks for the last two decades or so.

3

IAMBUDE t1_iu3syu6 wrote

It seems there is a direct correlation between fucking around and finding out as explained here.

0

ShakyFtSlasher t1_iu1pciq wrote

A lot of people die from vending machines tipping over on them.

1

Use_The_Sauce t1_iu3qsk0 wrote

Good news for the vending machine is it had a human break it’s fall.

1

KittensMeow666 t1_iu224a3 wrote

*SLAPS HIPPO * you see this baby right here, eats away you're enemy's skulls like a ninja blender. It pays for it self.

1

BisquickNinja t1_iu1j6ho wrote

Although some hippos have tried to challenge elephants and it didn't work out so well.

2

ReidWitt1 t1_iu0xhg1 wrote

No tyrant is a more accurate title for the hippos

1

GarretTheGrey t1_iu1z6xx wrote

Their derpy eyes fool you into thinking the super nom ain't coming

1

Bierbart12 t1_iu0gsk8 wrote

It's kinda cute to me. Just like every other killing machine that can rip us apart

19

pfc_bgd t1_iu34mhs wrote

The little one in the back is definitely cute

3

Dimplestrabe t1_iu3it7y wrote

Imagine star jumping naked into that water and onto the head of the baby, then trying to steal it.
All while screaming profanity at the mother.
That would be a novel suicide.

0