Alabussy OP t1_iu0gsr7 wrote
Reply to comment by AdditionalTheory in A hippo at the Cincinnati Zoo enjoys a seasonal snack. by Alabussy
Hippos are monsters, dude.
They kill more people in a year than sharks, bears, tigers, and vending machines combined. They can lie in wait – motionless – for hours on end... then launch themselves forward with speed and agility that their massive forms would seem to make impossible. They're also stone-cold murderers with tempers as short as Elon Musk's... well, they're short, that's what I'm saying.
The lion might be "king of the jungle," but the hippopatomus is emperor of Africa.
Fishinabowl11 t1_iu1fw5r wrote
Tell me more about these killer vending machines.
GarretTheGrey t1_iu1ym4s wrote
When your drink gets stuck, you shake the machine to loosen it, therefore fucking around. More people have been finding out than with sharks for the last two decades or so.
ShakyFtSlasher t1_iu1pciq wrote
A lot of people die from vending machines tipping over on them.
Use_The_Sauce t1_iu3qsk0 wrote
Good news for the vending machine is it had a human break it’s fall.
KittensMeow666 t1_iu224a3 wrote
*SLAPS HIPPO * you see this baby right here, eats away you're enemy's skulls like a ninja blender. It pays for it self.
AdditionalTheory t1_iu0gy31 wrote
Not to mention incredibly aggressive and territorial
TracyMorganFreeman t1_iu0mz9e wrote
Lions aren't even kings of the jungle. Tigers are more likely.
BisquickNinja t1_iu1j6ho wrote
Although some hippos have tried to challenge elephants and it didn't work out so well.
ReidWitt1 t1_iu0xhg1 wrote
No tyrant is a more accurate title for the hippos
GarretTheGrey t1_iu1z6xx wrote
Their derpy eyes fool you into thinking the super nom ain't coming
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