Submitted by scarymaxx t3_11y5qng in nosleep

I’ve always been terrified of water. Not like, a glass of it. I’m fine drinking it, using a toilet, washing my hands. Showering is tolerable, but unpleasant. Bathtubs are a no-go. Fuck pools, lakes and streams. And especially fuck the ocean.

Did I mention I live right on the beach. My therapist thought it might help me face my fears. I can’t say it’s done much yet.

My mother always said my dad was the same way. He didn’t stick around long after I was born. Just a couple of months. But the one memory that stayed with her is me crying my head off while she tried to bathe me in the sink, and my dad screaming his head off, “Not the ears! Not the ears!”

The word around town was that dad had little babies like me all over the state, all of them scared of water. When I went to the beach as a kid, I’d always walk up to the other kids who weren’t swimming and ask who their daddy was, but I never did meet any of my half-brothers or sisters.

Naturally, I always hated my dad. For a long time, I thought the best way to avoid becoming him was to skip having any children of my own. Then I married a great girl, Mira, who convinced me I was a worthy human being, and that the best way to fix the mistakes of the past was to settle down and become a loving father.

And she was right. When my son, Matthew was born, I almost physically felt myself become a better man–that something in me had changed at a biological level. When he wrapped his tiny fingers around my thumb and stared straight up into my face, suckling at the air, I knew I was done living for myself, that every day after would be for him.

Matthew was about three months old when I had a knock on the door and opened it to find an old, bearded man that looked like me on my worst day. I knew right away that he must be my father.

“I’m here to see the new grandbaby,” he said.

“Like hell you are.”

“Come on,” he said. “Be civil. It’s starting to rain.” He nodded to the threatening storm clouds overhead. A shiver ran through me. I’d been caught out in a storm once when I was young and ended up having a severe panic attack, screaming myself unconscious as I huddled under the relative dry of a maple tree.

My father entered, shaking a few drops of water from his coat and then setting it on a hanger by the door.

“I don’t suppose anyone’s stopped by to tell you the do and don’t of being a father,” he said, settling into a spot in the center of my loveseat.

“I’m doing fine on my own,” I said, picking a rocking chair in the corner. “Can I call you an Uber or something?”

He ignored me, and looked toward my baby monitor, where a black and white image of Matthew sleeping filled the screen.

“You’ll be having the headaches by now, I ‘spect,” he said. “Probably not enough to knock you on your ass yet, but believe me, in a month or two…”

My stomach dropped as he said these words. Because they were true. Over the last few months I’d been having headaches for the first time in my life. And they were getting worse and worse. It was like my skull felt too full.

“I’m fine,” I said. “You really should get going. My wife’ll be back soon, and I’d rather you two didn’t meet.”

“No she won’t,” he said quietly. “Won’t be back until 2:00am after her job at Rudy’s gets done. You and I, we’ll have plenty of time.”

My hands were shaking a little bit now.

“Time to do what?” I asked.

“What needs to be done,” he said, gesturing to the baby monitor. “It’s really better to get it done now. Less suffering for both of you.”

Outside, the storm was starting in earnest. Sideways rain pounded the front windows, and lighting struck the nearby ocean.

“Come on,” he said. “You must have sensed what you have to do. It’s in your blood. Your instinct. The Second Birth is just as natural as the first one.”

My head was throbbing. I rubbed at my temples, and they felt foreign to me. Where they’d once been spongy, I know felt new bristles of bone, like miniature spines beneath the flesh. Had they always been that way?

“They’re ready,” he said. “God, you’re practically bursting. Nothing like the first time. Come on, let me get a look at you.”

“You can look at me from there,” I said.

“Not this you,” he said. “I mean you. Come on. Whatever you think about me, I’m your father.”

He stood and walked over to me. I thought he wanted to look me in the eye. Instead, he leaned over and peered into my ear. His breath stank like birdshit and his beard tickled against my cheek, yet somehow I couldn’t tell him no.

“Come out,” he said. “I can’t see you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said. I didn’t know whether to cry or scream. Of course, if I got too loud, I knew I’d wake up Matthew, and my night would get even worse than it already was.

Then, without another word, my father knelt on the ground before me. Then his eyes rolled back and his body went limp. For a second, I thought he’d had a seizure, maybe even a heart attack. Yet he was strangely still.

Then I saw movement: a sickly, subcutaneous shiver by his temple that progressed downward toward his ear. And then finally the thing came out: white and shimmery as a pearl. It might have been a worm, but it moved more like a snake, wet and glossy, clothed in shining scales.

“What are you?” I asked, pulling back into the chair, my heart beating uncontrollably.

“The same thing as you,” came a whisper from my father’s human lips. “You could call us passengers. Unkindly, parasites. But really, we’re symbiotes. We live amongst them, growing in their young at an early age. I’d like to think we live their lives better than they ever could.”

My stomach was in knots. I knew I was about to vomit any second.

“You’re saying I’m a… I’m not… I’m not human?”

My whole existence was shattering before me, because deep in my aching, pounding head, I knew it was true. I was just like him, a shimmering serpent, a predatory monster.

“You’re something far better than human.”

As my father’s body spoke, the snake withdrew back into his ear. Then, slowly, he rose from the floor stretching out his withered limbs.

“Now that your human body has sired an heir, the next stage of the life cycle has begun. Already, your eggs are hatching within you, ready for their host. All that remains is for you to sleep beside your boy, to let your real sons emerge and enter him.”

“Matthew would die?” I asked. And then I threw up everywhere, my stomach acid covering my legs and the chair beneath them. But my father just kept speaking, unperturbed.

“Of course not,” he said. “Everything about him would remain. But he would be… enhanced as part of the symbiote. Reborn as something better. As us. And once that’s done, your work here will be done. You can move on to another human woman, sire another heir. And then another and another. The survival of our species depends on it.”

I looked at the monitor. Matthew was still sleeping peacefully, even with the raised voices in the living room. He really was an awesome baby. He deserved better.

“No,” I said.

My father shook his head.

“I knew you were weak. I’ve been watching you all week, waiting for the right time to have this talk. In that time, you know what I’ve seen? A little man who jumps when his wife makes the littlest demand. You’re the one who rocks him at night, feeding him a bottle as she sleeps. You’re more a daughter to me than a son. Fine then. If you won’t do it, I will. I’ve always got an egg or two lying around.”

He got up and started walking toward the hallway, toward Matthew.

And that’s when I snapped. Without another word, I tackled him. We collided against a wall. As we did, I heard a sickening crunch and he crumpled to the floor.

“You broke its neck, you idiot,” my father’s body rasped. “No matter. Bodies are replaceable, and the solution lies right down the hall. Just drag me by your son. I’ll take him myself. Of course he’ll be a bit small for me at first, but in time–”

But I didn’t let him finish the thought. I dragged him outside into the storm. Rain pounded down and panic filled my body, but I didn’t scream. This fear was primal, but that didn’t mean it was real. As the raindrops circles around my ears, I felt myself–my reptile self–choking, but not in a way that would kill me, just like a little coffee that had gone down the wrong pipe.

I dragged my father’s body through the sand toward the ocean.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” my father rasped. “What the hell–”

I plunged him into the ocean as we reached it, the water crashing over his head, completely submerging him. He was trying to say something, looking up at me from underwater with terrified eyes, but I was no longer listening. For a second after that I saw the silvery snake–my real father–emerge from the body’s ear, but it was too late. The snake gave one last shiver and then went limp even as the life went out of his human form.

Back at home, I took the best shower of my life. For once, the hot water running down my neck didn’t bother me. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to choke me, now that I knew what I really was.

When Mira got home that night, I was rocking Matthew in the chair, which I’d cleaned thoroughly.

“You okay hon?” she asked. “Hope he wasn’t too rough on you.”

“Not at all,” I said. “He was perfect.”

“You know,” she said. “I was reading this article on co-sleeping on the bus ride home. Now that he’s a few months old, it sounds like it wouldn’t be too risky, and there might be some real health benefits. Plus, I just kind of like the thought of it: all three of us cuddled up together in one big bed.”

“He’s been doing so well,” I said. “I’d hate to change a thing.”

“Maybe one day?” she asked.

“Maybe one day.”

2,686

Comments

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leah_paigelowery t1_jd6hh96 wrote

Awesome!! You made the right choice!!

484

scarymaxx OP t1_jd6hz7v wrote

I hope so. I'm not so sure what I am anymore. Or what my son could be if I took certain measures...

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leah_paigelowery t1_jd6ibd4 wrote

So if you were to submerge yourself would you die or would you just be a natural human again? Your dads body was already damaged when he was submerged.

154

scarymaxx OP t1_jd6ka6t wrote

I would die…

136

leah_paigelowery t1_jd6o2rg wrote

Oh gotcha🫣

50

Zerieth t1_jd883g2 wrote

It's probable that like some symbiotic relationships in nature the body must have him in order to survive now. It's totally dependent on him now. I wonder if maybe his species damages or destroys cognitive function in the hosts brain so it can take over that job instead? If that's the case without the symbiote the body would just be a vegetable.

30

jamiec514 t1_jdaql6w wrote

Are you sure you would die or is that just what the parasite told you? Seems to me that it doesn't really have any reason at all to be honest with you in regards to its own survival.

18

dreamtofalligators t1_jd7ppmm wrote

This might be kind of a hot take, but I don't think it'd be unethical of you to have a child of your own species, when you're ready. It sounds like the symbiont carries on the host's memories and personality, and the host body is still able to do totally normal human body things, so the question of whether something has been lost is more one of metaphysics than biology. I know it's complicated for you because the only member of your species you know you've met was your dad, who was a supremacist asswipe, but you turned out pretty decent in spite of him. Take some time and mull it over, and by the time the wife's ready for baby #2, you probably will have reached a decision.

36

True-Knowledge8369 t1_jd9q0ai wrote

But OP grew up needing therapy to deal with his intense fear of water. And, from what his dad said, the instinct after that would just be to leave his family and move on to father more children like him. I think OP is doing the right thing in fighting against his primal nature to be something better. And I think it’s something we as human should also aspire to, to rise above our base nature and better ourselves, not only as individuals, but as a species ☺️

46

WarMage1 t1_jdabwbe wrote

Could also be that his dad was a shitty person even for his species. I imagine there should be a talk with Mira about what he is though.

17

Daybreak_99 t1_jd6k1dj wrote

I would suggest finding a way to kill that symbiote within you.

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Divilnight t1_jd7hdvd wrote

Wait, but OP agreed to sleep by his son! Isn't that... exactly what his "father" wanted??

−7

Nodnal74 t1_jd7r5qs wrote

No, he didn’t. He said maybe in the future, essentially just putting it off so she’d forget.

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Divilnight t1_jde9r0b wrote

Ohhh my bad, didn't catch that. No wonder I was so confused, haha!

1

TheDevilsJoy t1_jd7qfbe wrote

Op said “maybe one day” not now and didn’t say yes

19

Lifedeath999 t1_jd9sxi8 wrote

I think the confusion is “maybe one day” (maybe eventually) vs. “maybe one day” (maybe just once)

10

Panasit t1_jd6jn0b wrote

" A little man who jumps when his wife makes the littlest demand." This is why monsters should keep their mouth shut. Since that thing encourage you to sire another heir and another, that means he did the same thing and you probably have siblings out there. Stay vigilant, OP.

191

jamiec514 t1_jdaqxtu wrote

It said in one of the first few paragraphs that he knew he had half siblings and would go up to kids on the beach that weren't swimming and ask them who their father was.

25

NocturneAeros t1_jd7s4o6 wrote

What you did is more important than what you are on an anatomical level. You love you son, you protected him from your shitty dad, you’re a great person even if you’re not human. All the best to you and your family OP.

62

TheJakal13 t1_jd7r30s wrote

I wonder if ear plugs would be a viable way to contain it. Prevent water from entering, or eggs from leaving.

53

Thr33Littl3Monk3ys t1_jd6jgda wrote

What happens to the you inside of you if you get it wet? Why is it so terrified of the water exactly? I'm not sure I understood that part...

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TheJakal13 t1_jd7qje9 wrote

The same thing that would happen to anything that breaths air that gets trapped underwater.

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monkner t1_jd735z4 wrote

Forget your biological dad, he’s a worthless turd. Glad you took care of business.

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BodybuilderOutside25 t1_jd7gloj wrote

This is weird asf I legit have the same fear of open bodies of water,

27

DannyIsADuck t1_jd8ic0q wrote

Maybe you an OP are half siblings.

27

BodybuilderOutside25 t1_jd8k4xw wrote

Stranger things have happened

18

Knight-Jack t1_jd8z9ey wrote

So uh... Your father tried to make you come to the baby, so your parasite's babies could settle in the Matthew. Won't it activate the next time you hug your son? Or does it have to be a conscious choice?

And what about the headaches? The real father mentioned that "you're almost bursting" - won't that mean the eggs would burst out of your head eventually? How would you even go to the doctors for this? Would MRI show something? Did going out to the storm calmed your headache down, so you'd just need to take a shower whenever it comes, or did it kill all the eggs and that's why you could take a shower and not worry about the water?

At the end of the day - you're what separates boomer fathers from current ones. No emotional distance, no listening to the father just because you're his son. Good job. If you can survive this, you'll be a great dad.

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BadActsForAGoodPrice t1_jd7xx1z wrote

Halfway through I thought that the father was gonna convince his son to kill his child, so his son and grandson didn’t have to suffer like he did.

Or, he had to leave the baby out in the rainstorm, relieving the headaches and continuing the cycle. (Maybe the headaches were some kind of calling to do this?)

21

True-Knowledge8369 t1_jd9q8id wrote

I figured the headaches were his “real” sons wanting to come out and infect little Matthew

16

BathshebaDarkstone1 t1_jd6sbxd wrote

As something similar to you, I'm not sure I'd have made the same choice.

17

magic1623 t1_jd930sh wrote

Just to make sure your child is as safe as possible from both brain worms and sleep dangers please know that it’s actually very dangerous to co-sleep with a child that is under a year old. It’s only considered safe when a child is able to independently move around.

17

MoonLightStorm001 t1_jdavpdg wrote

Every article i read on co sleeping is negative. Id never risk it even without having Nagini living in my brain.

12

soft_epilogue_ t1_jd99wpq wrote

you are an absolutely wonderful father. however, i would suggest some sort of therapy? no meant to be rude, i just assume that killing someone or something would be a bit traumatic?

11

scarymaxx OP t1_jd9a7yl wrote

You're not wrong! I might have to keep a few things private from the therapist though...

11

Corrupt_Swarm t1_jd8ub0t wrote

So wait, do the eggs have a chance of going into your wife?

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scarymaxx OP t1_jd8v6d6 wrote

I’m no totally sure, but I don’t think so.

11

Lainey1978 t1_jd81z6x wrote

I’m confused…if OP is a snake because his father was, then wouldn’t Matthew already have inherited it?

Or…I was thinking that OP’s dad left to protect OP, but no, he just left to go make more babies/hosts, didn’t he?

6

DannyIsADuck t1_jd8il2n wrote

The children are born human, OP would have to "let the real sons enter him" to make the child like him. They're like parasites.

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Madly_hornet09 t1_jd8msrz wrote

No, their human body's make the host the their worm body's send eggs into the child's ear

And yes he left to make more hosts

6

Cimorenne t1_jdc78ag wrote

So interesting that the consensus on cosleeping is that it’s unsafe, yet your wife found an article that says the opposite.

5

TheOversearOfIrata t1_jdatr11 wrote

Well, I would suggest you clean your ears to get rid of your REAL sons and flush them down the toilet if it doesn't harm you in the process. It's worth it if you want to protect Matthew.

3

Mr_Smartypants t1_jdgxsnc wrote

Earplugs. You can learn to sleep with them, no problem. I did it in college!

2

iriedashur t1_jec3mwb wrote

Have you watched deep space 9? Your dad might be correct, a symbiote might not kill Matthew, though it would likely change him. In the series, the trill species has a relationship with a worm-like symbiotic species, though they generally fuse as adults, not children. The host's personality combines with the symbiote's personality, instead of erasing it.

I'd also recommend reading the Parasitology trilogy by Mira Grant (sorry for the offensive name). Depending on how it works, maybe you could find a way to lay eggs in humans with unrecoverable brain damage. That way your species could survive without erasing a person, if it turns out that's what happens.

Maybe start or join a support group for people afraid of water and try to get other information from people like you.

Either way, I think you're a great dad and a good person, good luck :)

2

TropicalBlossoms t1_jdaryev wrote

You should figure out a solution to get stop your sons from going to Matthew like maybe clean your ears and flush those eggs to the toilet.

1

realchessman t1_jdc9liu wrote

dont you still have the snakes in your head? If you go to sleep in the same bed as your wife would they go to her head? Doesn't seem good.

1

Hour_Task_1834 t1_jdefpzx wrote

Would laying down next to him make the eggs enter him?

1