Submitted by curlyhairlad t3_115lmzu in nottheonion
Comments
laineDdednaHdeR t1_j92f0hc wrote
Sounds like a bit from Parks and Rec.
sprint6864 t1_j92fadj wrote
It really does
DamnBunny t1_j92wscs wrote
They let ChatGPT write this article :D
Schiffy94 t1_j984yfy wrote
Nah, it's just Florida.
rerroblasser t1_j93o8jm wrote
Bah. I'm so sick of these crazy recipe sites that make you scroll through their life story before getting to the recipe.
[deleted] t1_j92fyv9 wrote
If the headline was true, I woulda loved to see how some one could get arrested for eating a pie in the wrong way. Any ideas?
Hungry_Treacle3376 t1_j946ggg wrote
Yell the n word between bites?
Professor126 t1_j96zfxc wrote
Lawyer here.
If you eat something while locking heavy eye contact and making suggestive faces, sounds and gestures, it could be characterized as sexual harassment.
Schiffy94 t1_j9858ao wrote
"He was eating his cookie at me!" - Bonnie Plunkett
[deleted] t1_j93rif3 wrote
[deleted]
harpejjist t1_j94rp70 wrote
Depends. Was he eating the pie in a way that was disrespectful to someone else or to the pie? Because he best not be disrespecting the best pie there is!
[deleted] t1_j94umsn wrote
You disrespect that pie in Key West, the locals will beat your ass to death with their walkers.
harpejjist t1_j95ectt wrote
It is on my bucket list to have Key Lime pie from its home. I have had good pie, but I just know California doesn't do it justice.
[deleted] t1_j974s2x wrote
Key West is really unique in its own old people touristy kinda way. It is HOT AS FUCK, but feels like it's own country. The history is fascinating to seek out if you go looking for it. For some reason, beyond the pie, the iguana infestation is what most sticks in my memory from the visit though. They are absolutely everywhere all over the key. Roadkill lizards blanketing the roads. I'm pretty sure our tour guide said it was open season to exterminate them.
TightLines022 t1_j95ivsq wrote
He surrounded it with hair and used his tongue in the middle first
tuan_kaki t1_j970che wrote
When one tries to become the pie instead of consuming it
CustosEcheveria t1_j92e4w8 wrote
>As the man’s blood began to boil over the disrespect shown to his key lime pie, he confronted David, and the two became embroiled in a war of words over the final course. In his attempt to de-escalate things, Powelson tried to “cool off” his heated opponent by dumping two large glasses of water all over the pie-less victim.
>With that, the Lee County Sheriff’s Office was called, where the victim and Powelson each explained their side of the story, according to the arrest report. Following a brief investigation, Powelson was arrested and charged with battery on a person 65 or older.
Arrested for pouring water on someone over a pie lol
cdsmith t1_j93fd9q wrote
Pouring water on someone who is upset at him for eating THEIR pie.
DankPhotoShopMemes t1_j92cned wrote
He shall be executed for his terrible crimes
According_to_dave t1_j92fdz3 wrote
Unforgivable
sprint6864 t1_j92djcs wrote
He attacked someone, so he'll at least do time for battery
commandrix t1_j9444g7 wrote
Not excusing what he did, of course, but why you would want to start an argument with Florida Man over key lime pie is beyond me...
DamnBunny t1_j9b32p2 wrote
Don't do the crime, if you can't do the lime.
SilenceAmongTheBooks t1_j92zqxz wrote
Hahaha. I live in Lee County. We get so much crazy shit here.
TreeBearOne t1_j938bd6 wrote
..looking like whitey bulger
95blackz26 t1_j93bhxd wrote
Is this whitey Bulger reincarnated
[deleted] t1_j942w0k wrote
[removed]
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Jcb2016 t1_j92ei9v wrote
This sub has the best content even though i don’t frequent it
atlienk t1_j92fzy1 wrote
Needs to start with “Florida Man…”
sprint6864 t1_j92deqh wrote
Clickbait title
>Following a brief investigation, Powelson was arrested and charged with battery on a person 65 or older.
To add insult to injury, and to add to the bizarre and especially Floridian take this article seems to embody, it ends with a Key Lime Pie recipe