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aarkwilde t1_jarfhig wrote

A friend with bad knees is a friend indeed.

161

[deleted] t1_jarg30k wrote

True, if they are slower, the bear will catch them on it's own. Trip a faster freind.

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jxj24 t1_jarj3zm wrote

I'll take "Things Slower People Say" for $200, Alex.

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44035 t1_jarkefj wrote

You're on your own, grandma.

9

Abides1948 t1_jarkgnl wrote

I never would have considered it.

Until now, great strategy.

10

Rachellie242 t1_jarsk6y wrote

My friends need to follow this advice 🥾🥾 I’m going as fast as I can!

1

[deleted] t1_jaryxiq wrote

You gotta know that the number of people who need to hear that message isn't zero...

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stanley604 t1_jarzdk1 wrote

A park ranger at Glacier National Park (home of many Grizzly bears) told us what to do if attacked by a Grizzly: climb the nearest tree and throw your wallet as far as you can.

He said that way, they'll know who it was that got eaten.

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wheresthecheat t1_jarzppm wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#2,151,746)

Exactly, eventually you’ll be the slowest one left if you keep eliminating the people behind you. Then your friends will leave you behind. Trip the track star and keep more bodies between you and the bear

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Johnny_B_Thundergun t1_jas2han wrote

If your friend doesn't have the balance to keep running, that's simply natural selection

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MadeInThe t1_jas4iha wrote

Both friends could carry a firearm, sure try bear spray first but the minimum should be a firearm.

0

tinymonesters t1_jas54ew wrote

I'd never push a slower friend down. Why would I need to? I'm faster....duh.

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Mitthrawnuruo t1_jas677l wrote

This violates decades of education I have been provided.

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djsoren19 t1_jas8j3s wrote

If there's a group of you, you have a much better chance of turning around, making yourself look large, and standing your ground. Bears know that fleeing animals are easy prey, but pack that stands together is not worth the trouble.

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Jmostran t1_jasekjn wrote

Well duh. Pushing your friend down is gonna take precious time away from escaping a bear. The bear will catch your slower friend if you push them down or not regardless

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DFWPunk t1_jasgay4 wrote

That's exactly what a slow person would say.

3

Lentemern t1_jasge5l wrote

Push a faster friend down and stick it to Darwin

2

override367 t1_jasgwrb wrote

you dont need to push them down, they'll occupy the bear longer if they're upright to start

1

I_am_Torok t1_jasjomg wrote

Kid in NJ got killed by a bear a couple of years ago. Group of kids came across a bear and didn't follow guidelines of what you should do, scattered in different directions, and he was the one the bear chased down.

7

BrianKronberg t1_jassbnc wrote

True, you should take out their knee first. You don't want them getting up too quick.

1

DennyCrane49 t1_jasy9y6 wrote

Replying to I_am_Torok (#2,153,627)

That one was messed up- the group arrived and met a couple hikers who said “Don’t go that way, there’s a really aggressive bear following us…”

They went that way anyway, met the bear and it followed them. One of them did take a photo of the bear before it killed the one guy, kinda creepy.

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Imn0tg0d t1_jasz1st wrote

Wouldn't the slower friend be the one to push someone down? The faster friend doesn't need to push someone down, they can just outrun them.

3

TheAres1999 t1_jat08al wrote

But this was the only safety briefing on bears we got in the Boy Scouts

1

captainadam_21 t1_jat0mbv wrote

That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought. Fact. Bears eat beets

1

jiivanili t1_jat23qh wrote

Replying to Shot-Spray5935 (#2,153,157)

This is extra funny to me because my mom is TERRIFIED of snakes and once she lit the (gas) grill but a snake had gotten in it and when she opened it, the snake was pissed and climbing out of it. This bitch (said with love) pushed me into the dirt and ran inside and locked the door. I was 8! My dad had to come to the house from the firestation and search the yard for a flaming snake and I had to go through the gate to the front door to get inside lmao

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physis81 t1_jatcivr wrote

Don’t waste your time. Instead of pushing them to the ground, use this time to gain 3 or 4 strides on them.

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Sololololololol t1_jatfsa1 wrote

This is correct, if your friend is slower you don’t need to push them. You only push over the faster friend.

2

amstrumpet t1_jatlwkr wrote

Why would you have to trip a slow friend, you can just outrun them? If you are the slow friend (me) you might have to trip a fast friend though…

2

idahononono t1_jatm697 wrote

Well yeah, what if they fall in front of you and trip you when they go down? What you wanna do is just gently nudge them into an obstacle like a tree branch or rock. Then, when they go down and your free and clear. Amateurs.

1

Vurt__Konnegut t1_jatugqy wrote

Replying to MattTheHarris (#2,152,867)

In Tennessee the joke is on Heico show that he was carrying a little 22 caliber pistol, his fellow hiker said “that won’t stop a bear”. The other hiker reply contact number for the bears, but it will do your kneecaps just fine.”

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ScottRoberts79 t1_jatvpry wrote

Of course. You need to push down your friend who is FASTER than you.......

The friend who is slower is already bear food.

1

NoahVailability t1_jatytop wrote

If they’re slower… you can let them be eaten and feel peachy about the whole situation.

1

ThexHoganxHero t1_jatzgk1 wrote

They’re not kidding. If you feed them they will keep coming back.

1

Just_wanna_talk t1_jau2bgh wrote

Obviously. They're slower, no need to risk missing and losing your balance.

1

[deleted] t1_jau5n4m wrote

If they’re slower you can just run faster than them.

You should push your faster friend down.

2

[deleted] t1_jaub2m6 wrote

If they’re slower then you you don’t need to push them down, just put run them.

1

RevengencerAlf t1_jaug0kn wrote

What dumb advice. If they're slower you clearly don't need to push them.

1

Sethmeisterg t1_jaui582 wrote

That's right-- if you do that, the bear will be offended that his sport kill was too easy, then he'll come after you next for revenge.

1

SnooRegrets1386 t1_jauigsi wrote

Even if you feel the relationship has run it’s course…. Classic 😝

1

ItsDokk t1_jaur0ez wrote

I’m pushing whoever is near me down, if they don’t want it they better have good reflexes.

1

rellsell t1_jausmqv wrote

If you’re fast enough, you don’t need to push.

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Jace_Te_Ace t1_javj48j wrote

How about acquaintances? Are they fair game?

1

ikejime1 t1_jayi7wj wrote

This is so obvious they don’t need to make an announcement. The slower friend will already be eaten before you. Trip up the faster friend instead

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BigDaddyFatPants t1_jb6ehzt wrote

You don't have to be faster than the bear, only faster than your friend.

1