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AUWarEagle82 t1_jd8vubz wrote

I don't think this claim has a solid footing or even a leg to stand on.

408

Slimjuggalo2002 t1_jd8wg2g wrote

"...And this little piggy actually came back from his cigarette run."

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jxj24 t1_jd8xcwy wrote

There is nothing so stupid, or so easily, laughably disprovable that someone a distressingly large group of people won't believe it.

And act upon it.

106

RPDRNick t1_jd8xdog wrote

In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Tarantino...

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Dudeist-Priest t1_jd8ytw4 wrote

Just “not so sure”? I’ll bet literally everything I have plus anything I can get on credit.

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TheOzarkWizard t1_jd8zoth wrote

There are so many churches around here, this doesn't suprise me anymore

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Thedrunner2 t1_jd8zwax wrote

“She’s feeling Toeriffic ladies and gentleman.”

1

WeirdAFNewsPodcast t1_jd9076m wrote

And he will regrow your toes back! Or your spine!

Simply drop your money into the private plane, I mean.... er... the limb regrow bucket.

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kpanda91 t1_jd951dx wrote

They're urging people to post proof at ShowMeTheToes.com. Are we sure that's what the website is for? I'm not checking.

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zeldanar t1_jd97sui wrote

He also cured her lactose intolerance

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OccamsPlasticSpork t1_jd9a6ev wrote

I'm sad that since there is zero evidence that toes grew back we cannot even get into the correlation-causation fallacy on this apparent non-incident.

3

Keynova81 t1_jd9abb6 wrote

Nice work God! You picked the one thing the world needed most and fixed it just like that! My faith is reborn. Truly Hosannah in the highest.

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Moms_spaghetti_6969 t1_jd9dvvl wrote

They always eventually go a little too far. Why not just say she feels great, and you can too for $50

1

violetsprouts t1_jd9eqqm wrote

I've been to a million faith healing services, but I've never seen anything provable. Cancer, crutches, wheelchairs, missing limbs, nothing.

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gratusin t1_jd9exby wrote

If he was preaching to lizard people, this is totally feasible.

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forgiveanforget t1_jd9ghap wrote

Maybe in the Ozarks, they are part salamander. It is Lake Country.

Just a little research: "Salamanders, such as axolotls, hatch in ponds alongside hungry siblings that nibble on them. This may explain why they evolved the ability to regenerate missing limbs and gills. In contrast, humans have a rolling programme of replacing about 10 billion cells per day."

So it would take several weeks to regrow the toes, so I call bullshit.

1

Mountainpwny t1_jd9hc3o wrote

I used to work for Bill Johnson’s church as an audio engineer… AMA! Nice guy IRL. But often what happens is a testimony is shared and people just run with it without verifying anything. The toes thing should be very simple to prove.

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xGenocidest t1_jd9ji1l wrote

So he'd be willing to demonstrate this on himself, right?

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cbessette t1_jd9jurg wrote

I spent a decade or more in "power of prayer" churches that claimed miracles, I never saw a single damn miracle of any kind. I HEARD people saying God healed them but it was always for stuff that was going to get better anyway. "I had a horrible cold, but I prayed, and a week later, God healed me!"

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Central_Control t1_jd9k9cl wrote

All religions are lies. They lie. They all fucking lie. You should not be surprised, if you are, you're religiously indoctrinated.

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NikoKida t1_jd9l1mz wrote

I once had a friend whose mom always told the tale of how her younger sister was born dead (like came out blue, not breathing, and no pulse), but then miraculously came back to life an hour or two later without the doctors resuscitation cause they all thought she was dead.

I only remembered it the other day and had the realization that the only thing I had to go off of was her mom’s testimony. Never found any kind of news about it besides one article and one radio interview years later that was just her telling the story (in a Catholic magazine and a Christian radio station, respectively). Nothing at the time it happened, and not a word from any doctor. Curious.

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TheDeadlySquid t1_jd9le8v wrote

It didn’t. If it did, every dude would have a 15 inch penis. End of discussion.

1

garry4321 t1_jd9mxbq wrote

Doctor: Sir that is a cancerous growth.

Pastor: Yes, a miracle toe regrowth, youre correct doc.

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the_simurgh t1_jd9o3o5 wrote

my wealthy family convinced a mental health doctor i was nuts because i read comics and loved sci fi. how the fuck is this man not insane?

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PF4LFE t1_jd9phd0 wrote

Only in Arkansas - cuz the lord works in mysterious ways….

0

jawshoeaw t1_jd9qc8g wrote

Regrew them where exactly? On a cantaloupe? Now that would be impressive.

1

memberer t1_jd9qhfv wrote

if prayer works, why can’t it heal my broken arm?

1

3ndt1mes t1_jd9ql4t wrote

They can regrow digits but not brain cells? Classic.

1

meetjoehomo t1_jd9qrn7 wrote

so desperate are some people that they will cling to anything regardless of how impossible it is

1

More-Complaint t1_jd9sqzb wrote

God does move in mysterious ways. Who are we to question his will?

Omnipotence aside, I suppose Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in kids is likely a bit fiddly when compared to regrowing a few digits.

1

AonArts t1_jd9tarp wrote

I’d like to identify as Other just this once

1

series_hybrid t1_jd9vr5f wrote

Teetering on the brink of nuclear war with over 100,000 Ukrainians dead, Parts of Africa suffering from drought and a slow death for hundreds of thousands by starvation, Earthquake in Turkiye that has killed 45,000 and left many times that with no home, work, or food...

Yeah, if God was ever going to perform a miracle these days, I'm sure re-growing someone's toe is right up there at the top of the list.

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solo_duality t1_jd9vv18 wrote

Just wait till you see what he can do with a hymen!

1

supercyberlurker t1_jda06y9 wrote

Extraordinary claims made without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

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solarssun t1_jda1eee wrote

Replying to NikoKida (#2,308,448)

The thing is is I doubt that the doctor wouldn't have tried to get the baby back. My brother came out with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and was blue. The doctor isn't going to just let the baby sit there dead since it's blue.

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Sir_Jax t1_jda31cc wrote

Others aren’t sure. You mean people aren’t sure if this guy is absolutely full of shit.. Or are they saying that there is a person who somehow has toes when they didn’t before….. cause Jesus

2

HarioDinio t1_jda4adl wrote

"Piccolo how did your arm grow back?" "Thoughts and Prayers, gohan."

1

Vog-the-infinite t1_jda4fr0 wrote

"And when (Jesus) saw (the lady who kicked the lawnmower ), he said unto her, Go show yourself unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as she went, the motherfucking toes grew back. “

1

Pompoulus t1_jda787f wrote

It's me, I'm the guy. I'm the guy that's not so sure.

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thx1138a t1_jda7vh9 wrote

Some folk’ll never grow a toe

And then again some folk’ll…

3

Llenette1 t1_jda8gxy wrote

Quinten Tarantino has entered the church...

1

Karel_the_Enby t1_jdaaxr2 wrote

Of course it's those psychopaths at James River. I mean, if you've never been so unfortunate as to find yourself in southwest Missouri then you wouldn't know, but this is exactly them.

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RabidPlaty t1_jdab0tj wrote

Chop them off and do it again for proof

0

needmorecoffee92 t1_jdacegh wrote

However, I am 100% sure. Case and point, exhibit A, said toes on woman’s foot. HA! Take that, ”doctors”.

1

sevenandseven41 t1_jdacg0s wrote

There’s plenty of crutches at Lourdes, but no wooden legs.

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minnesotaris t1_jdaeh3p wrote

Correct. It didn't happen. Going with the most absurd conclusion is stupid.

1

naslam74 t1_jdaf534 wrote

Of course as usual there is no independent confirmation. Just bullshit. Like most of religion.

1

frnzks t1_jdajdwl wrote

Let’s assume for the sake of argument that prayer DID regrow this woman’s toes.

Why would this be newsworthy? It would be newsworthy only if it were unexpected.

And it would be unexpected only if nobody really believed that prayer could have this effect.

If I believed god existed, I’d expect woman to be regrowing toes through prayer regularly. And if other people really believed in the power of prayer, I don’t think that this event would surprise them either.

2

Erazzphoto t1_jdalc0d wrote

And these morons will whip out their credit cards and send him money

1

RussMantooth t1_jdamhki wrote

How about regrow my fucked up toenail that won't co.e.back after running 10ks a lot in the damn military. I asked for a partial pension over it but got laughed at! Where's the compassion for veterans?

1

vezwyx t1_jdamzjc wrote

Replying to BrightCarver (#2,310,817)

> that’s really all prayer is, isn’t it?

I'm no lover of religion but "begging for things" is a gross misrepresentation of prayer. Lots of prayer is focused on the simple act of communing with a deity, without asking or having any expectation of getting anything in return.

There are plenty of valid criticisms we can level at organized religion or Christianity in particular. "Prayer is begging" isn't one of them

−2

ozarkhawk59 t1_jdao6vv wrote

Another preacher in the article says it is similar to a person who lost a kidney and miraculously regrew it. Do people realize that if there was a shred of truth to any of this it would be in every medical journal on earth??

1

BayouGal t1_jdaq4p5 wrote

Better tell the transplant docs that they won't be needing them anymore. Praise Jesus! (and Bob, of course)

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onestopmedic t1_jdaqyee wrote

Aren’t so sure? Serious, aren’t so sure? I can say with 100% fact that prayer did NOT regrow a fucking toe. For fuck sake…

1

RyokoKnight t1_jdarhms wrote

As with all such claims I have a quick way to test it...let's cut off his and or his wife's toes then see long it takes for prayer alone to regrow them...

If they regrow we should all definitely consider believing in this guy's religion as magic regenerative powers is a pretty good payoff for faith.

If they don't... well... either the man is lying... or I guess his faith just isn't strong enough.

1

OptionalFTW t1_jdasbz4 wrote

Oh for cryin out loud. This planet needs a crazy cleanse.

1

Real_Ad_7925 t1_jdau4r8 wrote

And still others think that’s fucking stupid.

1

Psychological-Stay16 t1_jdaugao wrote

I mean people believe in a Zombie Jesus. They believe a virgin gave birth. They believe a 600 yr old man built an ark for 2 of every animal. They believe dinosaurs lived among humans and the earth is only 6000 yrs old. But the regrowing of toes is a bridge to far for only some of them.

1

Unsd t1_jdayfej wrote

Replying to jxj24 (#2,306,544)

This is the scary part. This just emboldens all the assholes that won't participate in modern medicine, even if it means letting their kid die.

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cleopete t1_jdazrsp wrote

I guess we all know the real depth of Marjorie Taylor Greene's faith now.

1

series_hybrid t1_jdb0g42 wrote

Replying to huzernayme (#2,312,194)

...and the number of the toes were 10, yea verily the number of toes was not 11, neither were there 9. And the toe spoke unto them, saying...I bring a message and he who has ears, let him hear. And yet I shall not speak unto the children of the coffee table legs, for they have evil in their hearts. For their souls contain darkness, and there is no light in them...

3

Iwonatoasteroven t1_jdb6sgi wrote

Okay, I’m going back to church when I see someone walk down that aisle with one leg and come back with two.

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Iwonatoasteroven t1_jdb6vy8 wrote

Okay, I’m going back to church when I see someone walk down that aisle with one leg and come back with two.

1

Null_and_Lloyd t1_jdbehqd wrote

Please, please give this poor guy some attention! He's obviously a true man of god.

1

Qimamad t1_jdbo3me wrote

So, there is hope for MTG?

1

Quanais t1_jdboy02 wrote

It is just so embarrassing to live in Springfield sometimes. I have worked with people who go to that church, it's a cult. They believe everything he says without question. Every. Single. Thing.

1

depressed_popoto t1_jdbrgkq wrote

The pastor i worked with is basically a Bethel groupie. He was at the time trying to talk me into going to a confrence with him there. His seeking point was that God grew a woman's hymen back. Went i as a female needed to know this, i still have no idea to this day. So glad i no longer but unto that bullshit.

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silentwhim t1_jdbs6dr wrote

This isn't oniony - this is just yet another charlatan.

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WerewolfUnable8641 t1_jdbsn6i wrote

Children out here starving in the streets because Jesus is too busy growing toes and helping one fotball team beat the other one.

Get your shit together Jesus, that's bad resource management.

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jeffersonairmattress t1_jdbtqie wrote

Prayer gave me back my knees. All my life I’d been last in sports, I’d run in circles instead of straight for a fly ball or a pass- and don’t get me started on my ten minute hockey career. Well, the doctor said while actually laughing and breaking the news that I had two left knees. My mother wept. I never saw her again.

I wondered what to do. i knew I needed help, but everywhere I turned was… right. I was making no progress. I paced one square metre of the streets for hours, deep in thought. And then in church I saw the light. I prayed for the ability to take the left path, others yelling, “No! You idiot- you mean the right path!”

Little did they know. And one day, my prayers were answered! A local lunatic shot up a daycare full of ripe little knee donors!

It turned out that one was a match for my preferred skin tone, so I grabbed it before anyone from some other religion could.

Thanks to Jeebus, I was pirouetting around that kid’s funeral like I would any other Tuesday- only this time, I spun counter clockwise.

1

Etvlan t1_jdc2ctm wrote

Some people believe Jesus walked on water, they'll surely swallow that as well.

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dubbleplusgood t1_jdc65oj wrote

I believe him.

I believe the earth is flat.

I believe Bigfoot exists.

I believe the Loch Ness monster is real.

I believe UFOs visit earth all the time.

I believe I can fly.

1

MistressErinPaid t1_jdca1ur wrote

I'm usually not one to doubt other people's religious experiences, but I'm gonna need some receipts for this one.

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Ok-Assistant-8876 t1_jdcg4e3 wrote

He may not have proof or evidence that this happened, but he’s going to continue to toe the line with this story

1

handsforhooks44 t1_jdchdih wrote

Replying to jxj24 (#2,306,544)

They're tacking onto their story that a medical doctor who attends the church confirmed the existence of regrown toes. The doctor is married to one of the women who prayed for the lady. I don't understand why they're trying an appeal to authority. People who believe bullshit like this are usually skeptical of science at best and conspiracy theorists at worst, so how much would a medical doctor's attestation help their case?

1

llc4269 t1_jdci5ts wrote

Replying to kpanda91 (#2,307,242)

Oh, yeah. It's a legit site. They even say you can email them videos and pics at wewillacceptproof @ gmail. LOL They have zero photos of feet. But there are 3 videos of the pastor, some other church elder, and the woman all talking about this miracle that no one seems to be able to verify. (I am SOOOOO shocked by that.)

This kind of thing pisses me off so much. If this had actually happened (it didn't) the pastor and woman would be falling ALL OVER THEMSELVES to show those toes and their full functionality after a single day. People like this are the worst.

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SamHandwichIV t1_jdcktjh wrote

The pastor’s last name is Lindell. I think that is all we need to know to show that this isn’t true.

1

GetlostMaps t1_jddugva wrote

Replying to AnimusCorpus (#2,321,001)

That's not how I read Malthus at all. Nothing about religious stupidity in it. He was super-religious himself and literally a priest or something. Maybe you need to expand your library so you have more suitable adjectives.

0

GetlostMaps t1_jddwhzi wrote

Replying to AnimusCorpus (#2,321,683)

No he did not. Sounds like you read a one paragraph summary and not the source material. Open a book. He was more about moral restraint and not having children until you could afford them, with nothing about people killing themselves by being stupid. The guy was probably a racist, was against birth control, and certainly didn't foresee mechanized farming, but there are small nuggets of gold in his shit, and you not even reading it to critically assess it to find them, then making up things he didn't say does you no favors. He was way off base on a lot of things, probably bigoted, oversimplistic and unrealistic, but not everything he said was ridiculous, and he didn't say what you're ascribing to him at all. The 3rd grade poster assignment you got your information from was inadequate. Do some more reading.

Jesus inspired numerous genocides. You don't seem to understand your own point.

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Montgunnery t1_jdf7k52 wrote

I’d believe it. When I was a wee lad my pastor regrew my anal fissures

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BozoidBob t1_jdftus7 wrote

It’d be funny if she had an intact identical twin and they could substitute her twin Houdini-like in the middle of the service to bolster their claim of miraculous healing.

1

Spiritual_Fruit_2572 t1_jdg1eww wrote

proof or not it wouldnt matter you still wouldn't believe it

I'm in no way saying I doo

But I am saying I believe in miracles from God every single day

1

rocktopper1939 t1_jdk71pk wrote

Reports of "miracles" declined as cameras were invented and improved...coincidence?

1