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HardPawns t1_jds2lam wrote

Well, if he don’t resurrect by the end of easter they should just fire that lazy prick.

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LRsNephewsHorse t1_jdsbidc wrote

I'm still waiting for updates on Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

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BuffaloInCahoots t1_jdsdk30 wrote

They must not be praying hard enough. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

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TheLairyLemur t1_jdsgbp7 wrote

Why would you post a paywalled article without pasting the contents in the comments?

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Speeddemon2016 t1_jdsuf37 wrote

I wonder who’s job it is to go in and poke him with a stick?

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Blackstrider t1_jdt2etx wrote

Clearly they haven’t paid the church enough.

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Woffingshire t1_jdt7vmv wrote

Who does this guy think he is that he can pull the same moves as Jesus, the actual son of God?

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Fracture_98 t1_jdta1zb wrote

Oh, jeez. I just realized we shouldn't have screwed the lid shut!

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sklos70 t1_jdtcsz5 wrote

I bet it's an insurance scam. Open the coffin; it will be full of rocks.

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sklos70 t1_jdtdwjr wrote

Replying to Woffingshire (#2,380,787)

Well I'm sure there have been plenty who have done it without being so narcissistic as to point to thematically and say "See? Control over death. My Dad is God". I reckon there are plenty of untapped and unaccredited performances in the bigger religions too like Islam, Hinduism, and the grandaddy of reincarnation claims, Buddhism.

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phred_666 t1_jdtgycu wrote

They just need to send more thoughts and prayers. That works every time.

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Lokarin t1_jdtlnhf wrote

Maybe he pulled a Jesus and resurrected "spiritually"

...apologetics is so silly

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somekennyguy t1_jdtpjlx wrote

Has he been embalmed... Or is there just some dude rotting to prove a point

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Then_Ad_9624 t1_jdtv3jt wrote

If he’s not resurrected by Easter we’re legally allowed to leave

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Rosebunse t1_jdtzql6 wrote

Isn't there a whole thing about not tempting God or telling God what to do?

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DamnBunny t1_jdu8pua wrote

Well...He ain't getting any deader; back to work.

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EdgarBopp t1_jducje2 wrote

Just steal the body and then claim people saw him alive again. Worked before.

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oldgar t1_jdudh6u wrote

He will rise again after a time, and when this happens he has chosen to rise as flies.

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supagirl277 t1_jdufvmr wrote

Replying to Lokarin (#2,382,796)

It’s ridiculous, cause he was supposed to have even gone around and had people touch the wounds in his hands so people believed it was actually him in the same body. He peaced out pretty quick after that anyway.

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jsuwangsa t1_jduhbrd wrote

Didn't set the right respawn point.

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VukKiller t1_jduk8ge wrote

How does this work?

Is he still on payroll?

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Alundra828 t1_jduv6k3 wrote

Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves, for the statement that I am about to make is one that has been debated for centuries and is at the very core of some of the world's oldest and most influential belief systems. It's a statement that has sparked countless philosophical and theological discussions, and has been the subject of intense scrutiny by some of history's greatest minds. Are you ready for it? Here it comes: "The guy didn't resurrect because resurrection isn't possible."

AMAZING

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LilG1984 t1_jduzjg7 wrote

Dr Frankenstein enters the chat

"Igor, ready my equipment!!"

"Yes, master!'

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forebareWednesday t1_jdv5c49 wrote

How do we do this with jesus? Isnt he supposed to be coming back on easter? Somebody film it.

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magpye1983 t1_jdv95ew wrote

Imagine being the intern they tricked with the job of “make sure the dead guy hasn’t come back yet.”!

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Nadaplanet t1_jdwbujq wrote

Replying to Alundra828 (#2,388,470)

>The guy didn't resurrect because resurrection isn't possible.

Sure it's possible, provided you have the correct spell components, the target didn't die of old age, and you're at least a 13th level cleric or bard.

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whoknowsthef t1_jdwnwlk wrote

There was a Godman in India by the name of Ashutosh Maharaj who died in 2014 and his body is still in a freezer if I am not wrong. His followers believe he is in deep mediation and will come out of it.

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CrawlerSiegfriend t1_jdwxs58 wrote

Don't worry it's still in the works. Resurrection request got held up in accounting.

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