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morenewsat11 OP t1_itps852 wrote

A cautionary tale about the perils of soap and water for the elderly.

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Dahhhkness t1_itq75j0 wrote

It must've been like that situation with Mr. Burns having every disease but being kept "healthy" by all his ailments canceling each other out.

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topbuttsteak t1_itqnntr wrote

"Well not "indestructible", actually the slightest breeze could..."

"Indestructible!"

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Frosty-Eagle-1296 t1_itsfuld wrote

it's like PEMDAS or something idk haven't watched Elementary School the Musical

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MyVoiceIsElevating t1_itq5tqy wrote

On the plus side you’re now the new reigning champ. How’s it feel? (Besides crusty of course)

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morenewsat11 OP t1_itq8kfh wrote

According to the article that title now goes to Kailish "Kalau" Singh, who has founded a spiritual practice of baked non-washing.

> Kailash “Kalau” Singh, from a village outside the holy city of Varanasi, had not washed for more than 30 years in an attempt to help end “all the problems confronting the nation”.

> He would reject water in favour of what he called a “fire bath”. “Every evening as villagers gather, Kalau … lights a bonfire, smokes marijuana and stands on a leg praying to Lord Shiva".

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Welpmart t1_itqdjoz wrote

Imagine how bad a daily weed smoker and fire-starter who hasn't bathed in 30 years must smell.

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PsyFiFungi t1_its4ejt wrote

I love weed. I love bonfires. Hell, I hate to not bath but sometimes I miss a shower or two, depending on how life goes. I barely even have much body odor, people are surprised.

But goddamn, years ago during a deep depression I didn't shower for around 2 weeks. My hair, my skin, it was like a snake shedding, or some invertebrate shedding it's exoskeleton. It all gathers and collects. Also, my balls smelled like ass, and my ass smelled like balls and ass.

Sorry for such a detailed description. My actual point is: collect samples of his body to see the microbial craziness that's going on, hose him down with a giant fire truck's hose, then smoke a giant bowl with MC Dirty Ganja over here

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skabamm t1_ituo2j5 wrote

This is what I came to ask!!!

I get making a point. But that man's ballsack has got to be the gnarliest, stinkiest, stickiest grotesque thing on the planet. Right?

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AurumArgenteus t1_ittgalz wrote

I want to better mankind like that, too bad it probably isn't effective, especially for paying the bills.

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SniffCheck t1_itpzgww wrote

The crud was the only thing holding him together

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Dahhhkness t1_itq6w3q wrote

>In 2014, the Tehran Times reported that Haji would eat roadkill, smoke a pipe filled with animal excrement, and believed that cleanliness would make him ill.

"Haji, is this you talking, or the filth?"

"I am the filth."

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SniffCheck t1_itq85b8 wrote

Smoke a shit pipe!?! Good lord

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cyrathil t1_itq95ni wrote

Imagine the headrush off a pipe filled with rat droppings though

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BCCMNV t1_itrfpy3 wrote

Take that leptospirosis to the dome.

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KingGalahadThe1st t1_itttc9k wrote

I would imagine you’d get a headache not rush if you smoke rat shit out of a pipe…

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KingGalahadThe1st t1_itttchu wrote

I would imagine you’d get a headache not rush if you smoke rat shit out of a pipe…

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peensteen t1_itrakcn wrote

He took the shit-tornado right back to Oz!

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lelaena t1_itrokci wrote

I mean, that is basically just Fallout Jet

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SableShrike t1_itq7b6e wrote

“Whaddaya say we get ourselves a little filthy-poo, Randy?” - Dirty Jim Lahey

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TheStrangestOfKings t1_itsboa2 wrote

>Believed that cleanliness would make him I’ll

Maybe then he died bc he believed he would die after a bath

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Kenshkrix t1_ittlm9n wrote

The placebo effect has been proven to be, ironically, quite powerful, in several cases.

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Dragonfly452 t1_itths4v wrote

The load bearing stank was taken away and things just went to hell. RIP

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TolMera t1_itq1dco wrote

Is there a correlation or is this like serial killers are also ice cream salesmen?

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daemon_panda t1_itq29nz wrote

He possibly had something really weird in his microbiome helping him out.

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TolMera t1_itq2spq wrote

A predominating bacteria on his skin giving him a steady low dose antibiotic kinda thing?

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daemon_panda t1_itq33vs wrote

Possibly. It would be hard to ever know. He was also 93 and a few months is plenty of time for the body to fall apart at that age.

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frisbeescientist t1_ittp69z wrote

I mean he died at 94, showers or lack thereof won't save you from much at that age

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voter1126 t1_itpukkj wrote

The topic of the elderly and not bathing came up in a discussion I had years ago with a home health nurse. She said that when they took over care for someone that had not bathed in a long time their immune system had incorporated the layers of dirt as part of itself and when they got them clean they would almost always get sicker. If they could get them past that then their health would usually improve.

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skabamm t1_itptzcj wrote

Smoking animal excrement? Yeeeeesh!

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wolfsbanejane t1_itq4win wrote

I want to know who the new dirtiest man is. What's the line of succession like?

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MlST95 t1_itqxsxg wrote

Lol you didn't read the article.

But quick make a witty comment!

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Tomdoerr88 t1_itrmnsu wrote

Sir this is Reddit, we don’t read the articles

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MlST95 t1_itthzyh wrote

Right, the Gen Z can barely read. If it's not a string of emojis than good luck. My bad

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King_Vizard t1_ittlw1a wrote

Last I checked it’s boomers on Facebook that need to string 50 crying laughing emojis before posting anything.

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sugar_addict002 t1_itqn0lv wrote

and now Steve Bannon is going for the record.

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LtCmdrJimbo t1_itqyt8n wrote

Reminds me of when Lemmy from Motörhead looked into doing a blood transfusion but was told it could kill him cause his body wasn't used to blood that clean.

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peensteen t1_itrcg71 wrote

This reminds me of how the Puritans and so-called "Pilgrims" at Plymouth stank so bad, that the First Americans that met them kept trying to convince them to bathe. The Mayflower idiots thought that all you had to to was change your underwear. Actually taking your clothes off, and submerging your body was sinful. Ew.

Next time some fool brags that their family arrived with the Mayflower, remind them that those people were zealots who got thrown out of Europe, and only survived by the charity of First Nations, who were apparently more Christ-like than the Puritans.

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SilverGengar t1_itpuj8s wrote

This happens a lot with e.g homeless people, there is a delicate balance of microbiome at play in there

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phunkydroid t1_itqa87u wrote

Also happens a lot with 94 year olds for reasons unrelated to filth.

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foo-jitsoo t1_itq5w3y wrote

Well, that sounds like wildly speculative bullshit.

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SilverGengar t1_itq6nfd wrote

Oh yeah, its pure personal experience, no research behind my previous answer

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ayyohh911719 t1_itqz1el wrote

My dad, while not homeless, is a walking biohazard. But he rarely gets sick. And I mean RARELY.

We’ve said for years that when he dies we will have to donate his body to science lol

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StealthedWorgen t1_itqibrz wrote

I think the guy was just lucky to have made it to that age in the first place. I mean, he smoked literal doodoo.

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Deevyy t1_itqfkn5 wrote

i.e. does not mean what you think it means

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imll99 t1_itqy2qw wrote

It makes sense, since it was water from a fire hose at the University of Tehran.

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Bird_Brain4101112 t1_itqxcd4 wrote

I suspect correlation does not equal causation here.

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MasterGuardianChief t1_itr0p46 wrote

No post bath photos?

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warlandgame t1_iud18j0 wrote

Look I’m old if people forgot LeBron said the “I’ll start to get the tetatnus shot since they rub against rust all the time but since they have been halo products people don't really care. Don't get all hopped up when you know damn-near-exactly where you are checking on you photos to see if they are having the same problem myself

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tangcameo t1_itrco7h wrote

It was… it was… soap poisoning

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Buck_Nastyyy t1_itq20i3 wrote

I came to post this. Good catch!

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KmartQuality t1_itt6eu0 wrote

They wanted him to wash so the funeral people would have an easier time of washing his body before burial.

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HenryGrosmont t1_itu0yq5 wrote

Anti-vaxxers: that's what killed him...

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Squildo t1_itqlqbh wrote

Washed away his life force

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Pirate_Ben t1_itqrqnn wrote

Not enough to link his death to the bath for me. Being 94 is hazardous for your health, especially for a man.

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ulululullululululul t1_itq5hjm wrote

It's like that gag from A connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Prove the soap is safe by washing a hermit -- then the hermit dies.

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Fabiankh5757 t1_itqvhj0 wrote

My mother works in a nursing home and said a very dirty lady came in one day and after giving her a bath she passed away😳 so strange.

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PsychologicalTear899 t1_itr0muw wrote

We must stop the extinction of the dirtsapiens, please spread awareness and do not wash them

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chocobrobobo t1_itr9g1q wrote

The lack of people commenting on how this article in unreadable tells me that yall don't even have the time to click links anymore lol. Just respond to the headline I guess.

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j4ckbauer t1_itrdr3j wrote

Doctor r/JoeRogan MD would draw some very interesting conclusions from this 'research'!

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Sonyguyus t1_itref83 wrote

Where’s Alanis Morrisette at???

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Sayoria t1_itrro1a wrote

Is the fountain of youth within the lack of cleanliness? 94 is pretty old for a man, so maybe I should stop washing!

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Jak_n_Dax t1_itsdyrd wrote

My man was together by dirt.

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haruame t1_itshaqm wrote

94 years old? Just shows you how a stress free life is the key to longevity

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Amarantheus t1_itsrayp wrote

Couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he was... You know, 94 fucking years old. Nope, gotta be the bath.

In other news, increased ice cream sales linked to a greater incidence of drowning.

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TheShaolinFunk t1_itsscii wrote

>In other news, increased ice cream sales linked to a greater incidence of drowning.

Climate change

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klyxes t1_iubdxqt wrote

Ah I see what happened. He became so dirty that the bacteria inside/on his skin actually formed a mutualistic relationship. They would now protect the body they've been living on care-free for countless bacteria-generations from invaders. The body's own immune system, having outsourced the job of actually protecting, shriveled into uselessness.

Thus, after taking a bath, the body was left without its guardians, free to be invaded by other bacteria who were never a part of the original mutualism.

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Minuted t1_itpuva3 wrote

dicks

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Intelligent-Bad7835 t1_itpzbk8 wrote

Yet somehow Americans believe it's a problem m to go a single day without showering.

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Shoopdawoop993 t1_itq05xu wrote

This is the guy that always sits next to you on public transportation.

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