Submitted by GrievousInflux t3_yiv2q6 in nottheonion
Comments
VegetableReport t1_iul58hl wrote
A slowly drying salt lake that’s going to spit out old arsenic deposits and make us all sick.
Also the ancient dragon slumbering at the bottom of the lake is probably an issue as well if the sun wakes it up.
jagdpanzer45 t1_iularbr wrote
Ancient dragon probably ranks at the bottom of Utah’s very long list of issues. Honestly it might even be an improvement. Might bring in some tourism dollars.
MeaningSilly t1_ium7d4v wrote
Well, there's that meth epidemic among Mormon moms in Utah valley trying to be the perfect Stepford Wives. But I'm sure that is a self solving problem.
JDefined t1_iul4ot0 wrote
Worth noting that this list was published from The Shane Co.
That's right. Your friend in the diamond business.
Chicken-Nala-Kitty t1_iul765r wrote
On the corner of state st and 7200south? Weekdays till 8, Saturday till 5, closed Sunday. Online at shaneco.com. I fucking hate myself lol
MeaningSilly t1_ium6ydy wrote
I started saying that in my head just before reading your comment.
I haven't listened to commercial radio in almost a decade now. Is that still playing?
Chicken-Nala-Kitty t1_iuogcs0 wrote
Honestly I don’t know. I don’t really listen to the radio but when I was younger and my parents had the radio on in the car it seemed like it played every commercial break
Tarantula_Saurus_Rex t1_iukwayr wrote
Places to visit;
Australia
Belize
Provo, Utah
PowellSkier t1_iulfnjv wrote
You've already been there?
vineyardmike t1_iulenw3 wrote
Provo Spain?
Inaglasscage t1_iukpyte wrote
there’s no such thing as Utah
GrievousInflux OP t1_iukqato wrote
That's the Oniony thing about this article!
TatonkaJack t1_iumtmlb wrote
the article does say that SLC is one of the best places to survive a zombie apocalypse. so you win some you lose some i guess
fucktrutin t1_iulakiq wrote
Does this take the Magic Underwear into account though?
vineyardmike t1_iuleqce wrote
That's why you need the magic underwear... Flame resistant.
Mormons playing 4d chess.
Shingaion t1_ium0374 wrote
What strategic value, if any, would be gained from the destruction of a couple of cities in one US state when compared to many more deserving targets around the world? 🤨🤔
MeaningSilly t1_ium83sv wrote
Two universities with labs that can create weapon grade fissile material, a chemical weapons disposal facility nearby, airfield that services all the f-18 jets, experimental weapons and hardware testing facility.
I haven't yet read the article, BTW. These are just the reasons I know of that we'd be a first strike target during nuclear war.
LilG1984 t1_iuo62dv wrote
Well if you don't have anyone to do the dragon shout you're screwed.
British here we just use knights, swords & lances. Only problem is rescuing princesses from the dragons
that_other_goat t1_iumf5x1 wrote
.......... have my plans been leaked?
AhbabaOooMaoMao t1_iukozg8 wrote
Fucking corporate media. Does Utah not have any actual issues? I know that's not true.