I would recommend that you and your partner have a frank and honest conversation about your financial goals and expectations before you start the process of buying a house or condo. It's important to be on the same page about how much you want to spend, what you can afford, and what your long-term financial plans are.

When it comes to the down payment, you should consider whether you want to split it equally or whether one of you will contribute more. You should also think about how you will handle the mortgage payments and any other expenses that come with owning a home. It's a good idea to make a budget and to have a plan in place for how you will manage your finances as homeowners.

It's also a good idea to protect yourself in the event that your relationship does not last. One way to do this is to have a cohabitation agreement or a prenuptial agreement in place that outlines how you will divide your assets and liabilities in the event of a separation or divorce.

As far as timing goes, it's true that the housing market can be volatile, and it's not always easy to predict the best time to buy. However, if you and your partner are ready to take on the responsibility of homeownership and you have the financial means to do so, now might be a good time for you to start looking. Just be sure to do your research and make an informed decision that's right for you.

It's also worth considering the pros and cons of buying a home versus continuing to rent. On the one hand, owning a home can be a good investment and can provide a sense of stability and pride. On the other hand, renting can be more flexible and may be a better option if you are not ready to commit to a long-term mortgage or if you are not sure where you want to live. Ultimately, the decision to buy or rent will depend on your individual circumstances and goals.

Go to the courthouse and get married before buying a home together - makes things much simpler from a legal perspective. You can always splurge on a big reception later.

I take it if you both are on title and loan then if the worse happens you both are protected and entitled to the equity.

Many people will begin to comment” never buy a house with someone you are not married too” but I say , “ Congrats on your Millennial Wedding” It’s now somewhat common now to buy the house first and then have the wedding.

My cousin had a Small beach elopement in 2019 with just parents and siblings. They rented for 2 years and in 2021 bought a house and in 2022 had their wedding.

My friend that bought in 2020 with her bf. Engaged this year. Said they split down payment down the middle.

In my case I bought the condo my hubby and I live in with my own down payment before marriage so it my own separate property.

Before marriage, I'd split the mortgage payment based on income. If one of you makes 60% of the total household income, that person pays 60% of the mortgage.

If you're sure you'll get married, this is a broader question than how to split the mortgage. The two of you will need to decide how you'll handle all the finances after marriage. Will both paychecks go into one account and every bill come out of that account? Will you utilize the three-account method where the majority of each of your paychecks goes into one main account and bills are paid out of this account and the remainder of your paycheck goes into an account only you use and can spend how you want with a similar account for your spouse? Only the two of you can decide what method works best for your marriage.

> We plan on getting married after we buy a house/condo.

No.

Every month there is somebody who got into a big financial commitment before getting married, the marriage got called off, and now it's a cluster-fuck

Wait until you are married if you plan on putting both your names on the property.

Only thing I would recommend is - when talking to your lender - talk though any state-specific issues/benefits to consider in marriage vs No marriage.

For example, in CA and other states married couples can title their property with “right of survivorship.” This is a good benefit as in the death of one person, it allows for the automatic transfer of the entire property to the other bypassing a bunch of potential probate issues.

Might be worth considering an on-paper marriage if there’s a legal/financial/tax benefit to buying as a married couple.

Your first step is to get with your bank and get a pre-approval letter. That will give you an idea of what loan you can get approved for. This forms the basis of a lot of discussions with your partner. Use this number wisely...it can be significantly higher than what you can realistically afford. Next, engage a realtor and get a pulse on the local market you are looking at. A lot of things about home buying can have major implications on your financial life. Having these two things can be a significant eye opener when talking to your partner about the way forward.

[deleted]

This is more or less what I did. While my now husband and I were dating, I went ahead and bought the townhouse; he really wasn't involved much at all. I bought it, he moved in, we got engaged, and now married. To me paying the mortgage is just like any other bill with my name on it, neither of us really care that only one of us is on the mortgage. (We split all expenses and monthly savings goals by income, I think I saw in a previous comment you do something similar).

I found the whole process a lot easier than I was expecting. I've owned my place for almost 4 years, and have barely had to do anything aside from buying a new washer. I went the condo/townhouse route and a lot of things are taken care of, which has been great for us because we've spent the last few years focusing on grad school, career stuff, starting a family, etc.

If something happens like a messy breakup or even if one of you dies it can be very messy. Imagine you share a mortgage with your fiancés next of kin and they don’t want to sell… so talk to a lawyer.

As someone else mentioned, you need to have a frank discussion with your partner. Generally speaking, when you co-own the house, you split it 50/50. Keep that in mind for future earnings, career goals, etc. Over time, there will also be substantial financial obligations for the home as well. How do you plan to pay for larger expenses such as a 10-15k roof, AC etc.?

For a personal anecdote, my wife and I’s income is close, but still about 60/40 (e.g., I make a bit more to provide 60% of our household income). If shit hits the fan, we split the house straight down the middle. My rationale was easy: if we did split up, I’d have a lot more to worry about than the house.

How far off is the wedding? It may be best to wait until afterwards.

If you plan to buy it beforehand, make sure it's a home each of you could afford on your own in case one of you loses your job or gets injured or you break up before you're legally married. Also if you're both getting the mortgage, get your credit scores and see if one or both of you has to work improving that in the months to come. No large purchases (new car, etc) in the months before and pay down any debt you or your partner has.

Effing complicated. Get a lawyer. For example if you split up , not married, it's a WHOLE LOT more complicated than if you are married. Divorce law is well settled, but not "shacking up" law.

You may say ,"I'll never leave him/ her". But shit happens. IMHO get married first.