I went the other route there, seeing a dozen failed relationships and how shitty kids can be treated made me never want kids or a wife. I'm 36 with no interest in relationships with other people for the most part. Which I'm sure is some form of depression. Idk. The upside is that it taught me to be better to people than my parents were.

> Why is our story so common, it’s really not hard being a half decent parent.

It's harder than it looks. Plus, there's a shitload of generational trauma rippling through, especially if your parents were born close to postwar (say up until about the early '60s). Hell, my dad literally told my mom that she was going to have to handle the kids because he "had no idea how to be a parent."

Best we can do is try to avoid the same mistakes with the next generation and give our parents what grace we can for their transgressions.

Well it is probably hard to have childcare when you work nights and are a single parent

It is hard. It requires effort, constant effort. If you are forced to work 1 awful job let alone 2 or 3 to provide food and shelter, what capacity do you have left to take care of your children? It's not an excuse, because in most cases having children is a choice. But it's the reality that our society forces people into. There are not enough well paying jobs for people to realistically support themselves and their families.

Absent parents (due to their own choices or societal flaws or a combo) routinely end up with children that have no moral guidance, no structure, respect for society, or their fellow citizens.

It makes sense how we get here, even if it's not acceptable. We need to help elevate people out of extreme poverty and overwork for their kids to have a better chance.

Since you’re getting the opposite, you’re right, no it’s not hard to be a half decent parent regardless of your situation.

Some parent don’t want their kids to see their struggle and others don’t care, I’ve seen both and there’s no common denominator other than your own self motivation as a parent, and hopefully you have it. There’s a balance and it shifts throughout life, but ultimately I agree it’s not that hard to not be a complete fucking retard as a parent. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard, plenty of people struggling with life are still good parents, it’s not an excuse.

It is easy only if you are able to think empathetically, something that is becoming a rarity. People pretend and even trick themselves into thinking they are an empath, when in reality they are just kindly manipulating others to gain something. People do nice things more often than not because they want others to have a positive opinion of them instead of actually wanting to make the person happy.

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Maybe more callused than tough. But yes, I think so.

Best revenge on a shitty parent is being the best one you can for your own munchkins. Good on you.

One Dad to another, I'm proud of you dude. Way to give your kids the chance your father never gave you; having a father who gives a shit and loves his kids.