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darkhorsechris t1_je9frjg wrote

My dad used to work for Parx casino. He said they used to patrol the parking lots bc it is common for this to happen. Wtf

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MonsterNog t1_je9k5mb wrote

When it was a horse track my dad used to leave me outside in a mercury monarch with the windows down and a promise he will be right back

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svenEsven t1_je9q1oy wrote

My mom would regularly do this any time we came back from anywhere and we could pass by a casino. I'll be right back always meant 4hours later.

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MonsterNog t1_je9qkbu wrote

My mom would dip across the street to the bar and stay there til like 2am but at least we were home and it was across the street, my dad would leave me somewhere without telling me he’s headed to Delaware for the weekend

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svenEsven t1_je9qu1r wrote

Yeah, my mom was a bartender, so out until 3-4 every night, and my dad was not around. We were just latchkey kids, I was babysitting my younger siblings since I was 10.

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MonsterNog t1_je9r41q wrote

Why is our story so common, it’s really not hard being a half decent parent. I have depression and I believe it’s because I’m disappointed being a good dad wasn’t harder. Like, why aren’t I craving meth and alcohol, why aren’t my wife and I beating each other to a pulp.

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svenEsven t1_je9rxvq wrote

I went the other route there, seeing a dozen failed relationships and how shitty kids can be treated made me never want kids or a wife. I'm 36 with no interest in relationships with other people for the most part. Which I'm sure is some form of depression. Idk. The upside is that it taught me to be better to people than my parents were.

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a-german-muffin t1_je9rygw wrote

> Why is our story so common, it’s really not hard being a half decent parent.

It's harder than it looks. Plus, there's a shitload of generational trauma rippling through, especially if your parents were born close to postwar (say up until about the early '60s). Hell, my dad literally told my mom that she was going to have to handle the kids because he "had no idea how to be a parent."

Best we can do is try to avoid the same mistakes with the next generation and give our parents what grace we can for their transgressions.

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catjuggler t1_je9sgel wrote

Well it is probably hard to have childcare when you work nights and are a single parent

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Master_Winchester t1_jea1ne2 wrote

It is hard. It requires effort, constant effort. If you are forced to work 1 awful job let alone 2 or 3 to provide food and shelter, what capacity do you have left to take care of your children? It's not an excuse, because in most cases having children is a choice. But it's the reality that our society forces people into. There are not enough well paying jobs for people to realistically support themselves and their families.

Absent parents (due to their own choices or societal flaws or a combo) routinely end up with children that have no moral guidance, no structure, respect for society, or their fellow citizens.

It makes sense how we get here, even if it's not acceptable. We need to help elevate people out of extreme poverty and overwork for their kids to have a better chance.

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AndrewHainesArt t1_jea8djn wrote

Since you’re getting the opposite, you’re right, no it’s not hard to be a half decent parent regardless of your situation.

Some parent don’t want their kids to see their struggle and others don’t care, I’ve seen both and there’s no common denominator other than your own self motivation as a parent, and hopefully you have it. There’s a balance and it shifts throughout life, but ultimately I agree it’s not that hard to not be a complete fucking retard as a parent. That doesn’t mean it isn’t hard, plenty of people struggling with life are still good parents, it’s not an excuse.

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NO-25 t1_je9w59r wrote

It is easy only if you are able to think empathetically, something that is becoming a rarity. People pretend and even trick themselves into thinking they are an empath, when in reality they are just kindly manipulating others to gain something. People do nice things more often than not because they want others to have a positive opinion of them instead of actually wanting to make the person happy.

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jfVigor t1_jeagf88 wrote

Thats so sad. But probably made you tough

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svenEsven t1_jeah95l wrote

Maybe more callused than tough. But yes, I think so.

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asforus t1_je9nczp wrote

Went to pickup some milk huh

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MonsterNog t1_je9p6sx wrote

We knew he was a degenerate as kids, well I did the others were oblivious. I can’t even say my dads name without Italian dudes following me after. Seriously that’s not a joke, I was in college and someone asked what my dads name was because my last name is kinda prominent around here and the next day some dude named Liuzi or whatever was waiting outside my school asking where he was and I gave him his exact location because fuck him. He messed with the bikers, the IRA, the unions, we had dudes snorting coke off dollar store monkey placemats at our kids table for dinner. I’m getting riled up because I hated my dad and the day he died is coming up fast so I’m kinda rambling. He charged his friends to rape my 4 year old sister, tried drowning me in a toilet then a pool knowing I couldn’t swim, tried stabbing my brother, tried electrocuting my mom. God I wish I coulda been what killed him.

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asforus t1_je9pvlp wrote

Wow wtf dude. You prob would have been happy if he went out for milk and hadn’t come back. Sorry man.

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MonsterNog t1_je9q5eo wrote

It’s all good, I’m a much better dad than he was and that makes me proud

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a-german-muffin t1_je9s3jl wrote

Best revenge on a shitty parent is being the best one you can for your own munchkins. Good on you.

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MightyBroseidon t1_jea2wq8 wrote

One Dad to another, I'm proud of you dude. Way to give your kids the chance your father never gave you; having a father who gives a shit and loves his kids.

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MonsterNog t1_jea4v9x wrote

Thanks man, youtube has been my dad for a lot of crap but I’m actually going and looking for videos for help so I guess that’s somethin

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MightyBroseidon t1_jea5kko wrote

You're trying and thats what counts. Your kids will remember that, even if you get stuff wrong being engaged and trying is the thing that will stand out.

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DefinitelyNotLola t1_jeade6v wrote

Same. Sometimes we'd be little assholes and move the car to see if they would noticed. They never did.

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igglesfangirl t1_je9ya5p wrote

I live near Parx. There were so many stories about kids being left in the car while adults gambled when my son was in elementary school. He's 22, and we still tell him we're leaving him in the car while we gamble every time we drive by. Just our running joke. It became funnier when he got old enough to say, "No problem, I'll walk."

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BigHmmEnergy t1_jeanleg wrote

Gambling’s an addiction. You’re gonna see crackhead behavior at any casino and that includes bringing your kids with you to get your fix

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DrPremium t1_jeasipu wrote

the kids just don't understand investing in slots yet... they will be thankin' em when their parents come back with pockets full of dough! Definitely this time or maybe next!

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