aizukiwi t1_j2cjehj wrote on December 31, 2022 at 5:57 AM

Reply to comment by WildlyUninteresting in [23M] [57M] My father refuses to accept I don't want a relationship with him. How do I end it for good? by BringbackDreamBars

With the greatest possible respect, that’s a load of bs. It shouldn’t be the CHILD’S responsibility to be the mature and civil one. The father lost respect and the relationship through his actions and words. Moving on ISN’T the issue, and if you can’t see that then I can’t help you. It’s how he handled moving on, and then the way he harasses and talks to his son now. I have a parent exactly like this. I couldn’t care less about his girlfriends, or his now-fiance. Good for them. May they be happy. But he lost the right to a relationship with his kids after the years of constant disrespect and hassling, and it reads exactly like this case.

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2cjzay wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:03 AM

With that same respect, you still sound like an angry child.

Holding a grudge for the rest of your life will only continue to scar you. You sound miserable.

Being angry because he moved on won’t help you. That’s just it. You needed to start caring. A lack of care is the problem.

aizukiwi t1_j2ckd1r wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:07 AM

I’m fine, happy with my life. I’m apathetic to him, but people like you are infuriating. This conversation is all too familiar. The child in the situation gets blamed for getting themselves out of a toxic cycle because “why can’t you forgive them” or “things have changed” or “why can’t you be more mature?” Since when is it not mature to recognize a toxic relationship and want to remove yourself from it?

WildlyUninteresting t1_j2cku37 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:12 AM

Nothing you say shows happiness or apathy. That hostility is unresolved.

It’s too familiar because that’s what you need to do. Holding on to this grudge won’t help you. That’s the difference between still looking at it like a child and growing some awareness as an adult.

Your relationship isn’t OP. So we have no details. OP hasn’t explained anything toxic. Just unfortunate. Hence asking for clarification.