I’m fine, happy with my life. I’m apathetic to him, but people like you are infuriating. This conversation is all too familiar. The child in the situation gets blamed for getting themselves out of a toxic cycle because “why can’t you forgive them” or “things have changed” or “why can’t you be more mature?” Since when is it not mature to recognize a toxic relationship and want to remove yourself from it?

With the greatest possible respect, that’s a load of bs. It shouldn’t be the CHILD’S responsibility to be the mature and civil one. The father lost respect and the relationship through his actions and words. Moving on ISN’T the issue, and if you can’t see that then I can’t help you. It’s how he handled moving on, and then the way he harasses and talks to his son now. I have a parent exactly like this. I couldn’t care less about his girlfriends, or his now-fiance. Good for them. May they be happy. But he lost the right to a relationship with his kids after the years of constant disrespect and hassling, and it reads exactly like this case.

The father moved his side piece in a week later and expected the kids to be okay. That’s so disrespectful - as someone whose parent has done the same thing. Then the passive agressive “are you mature enough to talk with me now” things. That’s something my own father did/does regularly to myself and my other siblings. Only 5 out of 6 of us still have any sort of relationship with him for the exact same reasons. Respect begets respect, and his father has shown him 0.

I genuinely thought this was about one of my sisters. What I did with my asshat father was send him one final email. I wrote it as though I was emailing an employer - very formal, very calm, no name calling or rudeness, just “for reasons x x and x, I have no reason to continue this relationship and henceforth consider it terminated. Do not contact me again.” Then move on. Don’t respond to any messages. Don’t even read them. Refuse to engage, and they lose.

What are you talking about? He’s entirely unreasonable.