TIFU by smelling a stain

Submitted by disgurstingshiit t3_10s4vo5 in tifu

Obligatory this happened yesterday. You can probably guess where this is going.

I've been talking to a guy for a while now, our schedules never matched up but yesterday I was finally free when he was, and he asked to come over. We watch an episode of some show, and the chilling part of Netflix and Chill starts happening. All is well, he takes off his pants and I'm on top (relevant, I swear). We're both happy at the end. I tell him I'd like to see him again and he leaves.

I come back to my bedroom and turn the lights on, and immediately notice a stain on my sheets because they're light coloured. Confused, I get closer to take a look and that's when the smell hits me. I gag and grab some tissue paper to try and get the stain off before I wash my sheets.

Yeah, it was poop. Aside from knowing I wipe my butt, it was never on the bed so it couldn't have been me. The dude on the other hand? Yup.

Since I said I'd like to see him again, he has texted me about it. I don't even know what to do, I thought he was really cute but I cannot get over this disgusting incident. Do I say anything about it? do I just hope he learns it himself? do I just end it somehow?

TL;DR: Invited a guy over who left a shitstain on my bed. He wants to meet again but I can't get over the nasty.

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Comments

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bkarst5 t1_j6zuqhe wrote

This is like the setup to a Seinfeld episode

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sHAkysHAde t1_j6zi7zy wrote

You made him cum so hard he shit himself! Wow. Achievement unlocked?

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YoggyYog t1_j72w9bf wrote

Unlikely, he probably doesn’t do any maintenance of his behind bush, and doesn’t wipe properly to account for that. Nothing gay about trimming between the crack when it helps keep your sheets clean, and your farts commandingly loud.

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pzzia02 t1_j75iyd0 wrote

I always wash really well before i go somewhere big fear of mine as im also to scared to cut myself to shave back there

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YoggyYog t1_j75spxe wrote

I use a pair of hair scissors, and snip most of it, to tidy it up. No need to go all the way down to skin, or shave, because they’ll cause you undue stress when it starts growing again, and the terrain isn’t flat enough to get a clean shave! 😂 It just requires patience, and careful use of hands to guide the scissor blades.

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Gutter_Sinner t1_j75yyou wrote

They make bikini line trimmers that work really well and aren't anywhere as dangerous

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8ayw39 wrote

he was actually well groomed at the front, I suppose he doesn't do the same for the back :(

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pm_me_all_ur_pelfies t1_j6zh08c wrote

Send him this

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xscumfucx t1_j6zibds wrote

The amount of tp they insist is sufficient is preposterous.

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pm_me_all_ur_pelfies t1_j6zj3br wrote

Literal poop hands

I insist on 6-8 squares per wipe

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xscumfucx t1_j6zo50g wrote

I don’t count the squares. I just keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ tp for my butt (that’s to be sung to the tune of Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’” btw). I’ll know when I have enough.

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Twientje588 t1_j720d63 wrote

6 - 8 squares per wipe?! No check, fold and wipe again? How many tp do you go through per sitting 😂

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SkronkMan t1_j77k47z wrote

6-8/wipe?!?! Do you use 1 ply toilet paper? I use 3 for emergencies and 2 for regular use.

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Jopojussi t1_j728an9 wrote

As someone who spreads cheeks just enough so theres only little bit of poop on the hole 1-2 is plenty enough per wipe.

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D4m089 t1_j729loa wrote

This, spread cheeks as you sit down and it requires very little to clean up 😅

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xscumfucx t1_j72ck7t wrote

I do that but I still require more than 1-2. Wait, are there a lot of people who DON’T spread?! Are they just sitting there shitting with their cheeks stuck together with poo like some sorta sick peanut butter sandwich?!

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Shufflepants t1_j77evyj wrote

And you just know that a dude that does wipe doesn't wash his asshole either.

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JudgeJudyApproved t1_j70t2ok wrote

There was just a thread recently in this sub where people were telling the poster that accidents happen and some people said they were in long-term relationships with people where poop happened during their first sexual-encounter. Things happen, and sometimes it can be laughed-off.

However your story has one thing not in common with those: The guy didn't say anything about it until long after you'd discovered it yourself. That's a red-flag. Trust your gut and don't see him again.

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Slammogram t1_j72ej2e wrote

I mean, he may not have known he did it.

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ErdtreeSimp t1_j731jq7 wrote

This is even worse... a guy who doesn't wash his ass isn't a guy you want

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8az7lb wrote

I don't think he realised it happened, it wasn't a lot. A good wipe could've prevented it but yeah, I don't want to have that conversation 😬

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sweetlikeoleanders t1_j72zswk wrote

naw you banged a dude that didn't know how to wipe his booty 💀💀

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OhThatEthanMiguel t1_j721tav wrote

Maybe he didn't know? He may have thought( or hoped) he just farted... did he go to the bathroom afterwards or just put his pants on right away when he stood up?

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8azfct wrote

nope, I don't think he knew. he just sat on my bed until he got dressed.

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OhThatEthanMiguel t1_j8azxfz wrote

Well, in that case I'd say he probably found out when he got home. You probably should have told him and just said you didn't want to have a conversation about it but he should know. You could mention you have a gay friend( me) who butt-douches before sex even when topping to avoid discomfort or... exactly this.

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Damnitjo t1_j73y050 wrote

Next Reddit post … Today a lady rode me so good I shit myself 😂😂😂

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heyitsvonage t1_j730u6h wrote

Hygiene is important, but this guy doesn’t think so

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8azssh wrote

he was actually well groomed at the front 😭 now that I think of it a smell did hit my nose at first but I put it down to just body odour/nervous sweats.

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Laurely4u t1_j77205u wrote

Send him cottonelle wipes shipped to his house from Amazon

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pissfucked t1_j78boex wrote

one time, same fucking thing happened to me except i was already 4 months into the relationship. tried to bring it up gently, he got defensive 🫠 said he was a hairy guy and it wasn't possible to clean it all (ethnically indian guy). i'm fuckin greek! i can basically braid my ass hair if i let it grow. never have i EVER left a full-on skid mark on someone's WHITE sheets while standing up from being fucked. relationship was basically over in that moment. breakup happened a month or two later.

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Roa-noaZoro t1_j763021 wrote

If ya like him enough ya gotta tell him or decide not to see him again. Be like...you gotta be better cause I like you and idk if you knew you did that but I got plenty of tp you're free to use.

You'll either laugh about it later or he'll ghost you and hopefully do better

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8azo6m wrote

I think my disinterest showed while I was contemplating what to do haha, we haven't texted in a while. Easy solution!

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x6O6x t1_j767u5g wrote

so many people with the same experience. What is it with guys and shit stains on the bed. Do they just not wash their asses.

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8azw1h wrote

unfortunately seems like it, some would even call it gay to care about their behind 😭

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frolicndetour t1_j7fzu5b wrote

This is like the fourth story I've read on Reddit in the past week that involved a grown man not wiping his ass properly. Do parents not teach their kids??

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Nathan-Stubblefield t1_j994uht wrote

Buttprints happen if you’re not wearing shorts or PJ bottoms and you sit on the bed. Change the sheet and life will go on. Pour some detergent right on the stain when you put it in the washer.

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Rikk001 t1_j73em4q wrote

Honestly in this situation, I’d let it go. You could be honest about it, but then again he’d be embarrassed too, but you could be helping him by making him aware. 🤷🏽‍♂️

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disgurstingshiit OP t1_j8b000h wrote

I've decided it's too tough of a conversation to have with a barely-know, super casual hookup so I'm gonna let it go 👍

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