Submitted by accidentallyagamer t3_11dn1d3 in tifu

As any 20 year old woman I too was in possesion of a so called vibrator. This has never caused any complications, however last night the ultimate doom scenario unfolded.

For context, I still live with my parents and sibling, like many broke college students. In a not so very big house.

I was asleep in my room, that is below my parents' room, when I woke up from a loud noise. Quite mortified I found out that my vibrator had turned on out of itself. One would think this is not that bad, but when I pressed the button to turn it of...

It simply wouldn't.

In sheer panic I went downstairs and sat on the couch, with vibrator in hand, contemplating, what on earth I was going to do. No matter how hard or long I pressed the button it refused to stop vibrating, and as any person who has one of these things knows, they are goddamn LOUD.

You would think this would be the ultimate opportunity for a very eventful evening, but alas I was not in the mood.

Eventually I came up with the brilliant idea to hide the vibrator in the garden shed. After finding out that the vibrator was inclined to grow even more louder upon laying it on top of any (any) type of surface, I wrapped it in a couple of tea towels and hid it.

At this point I was in sheer shock of all that had happened, but it seemed that my parents were still asleep. I went back to bed. Tried to fall asleep despite still hearing the vibrator...vibrating in my ears.

And when I woke up I realised that it was not yet over. Because now, despite everyone being at home, I was to walk over to the shed unnoticed, and get back inside with a teatowel baby.

When I eventually managed to do this and had the devious thing hidden in my drawer again, I thought I had gotten away with it. See, I thought to have remembered the battery was strong enough for three hours tops, and if it had truly kept doing what it did best in that shed it would have probably simply emptied out.

Hower, later that evening I was in the living room with my parents and they heard a strange noise coming from up stairs. Where this might have been my cue to go check if everything was alright with the demons in my bedroom, I was blissfully unaware of what they were hearing and simply thought it was the wind they heard.

Unfortunately my father had decided he was invested in this strange sound and decided to sherlock holmes his way through the house.

A good while later he came back downstairs and had the biggest fucking grin on his face I had ever seen.

"You know what that noise was that I heard upstairs?"

Yeah alright what happened next is open for your own interpretation. Luckily my parents are incredibly cool people and they simply laughed at me for a good 20 minutes.

The crazy part is, that this thing is still turning on and off unprompted? I saw it with my own eyes this time, and I truly have no clue what to do with it.

As of right now it is nicely wrapped up in towels and hidden under my blankets, but... do I throw it away? Edited: it does not have batteries, I cannot take those out. It is also waterproof I cannot drown the wee bastard. I cannot possibly throw it in the garbage bin, it might keep on vibrating for weeks at this rate...

TL;DR : my vibrator is broken and my parents found out, while I am still trying to work out how to get rid of it.

504

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Eissbein t1_ja9n3ec wrote

So, everyone knows now. Pick it up and throw it in the trash 😁

12

WhitDawg214 t1_ja9o0eb wrote

When your birthday comes around ask them for batteries. LOTS of batteries.

199

almostquinoa t1_ja9o392 wrote

Sounds like you should just take the batteries out

34

TheSmoarelax t1_ja9p73d wrote

Put your phone on vibrate and leave it everywhere to subtly fuck with your family

428

Ocksu2 t1_ja9qsia wrote

Maybe plug it in? Maybe that will reset it? That used to work on an old phone I had when it acted wonky.

25

reevelainen t1_ja9t5xy wrote

Maybe it's hacked. Or maybe one just so excited about you that it's viboner won't settle down.

22

tattookaleo t1_jaa7l3p wrote

If you guys hear it again, just yell out.....

"You shut your damn mouth Buzz Beaverton or I will put you out in the shed again!"

Your family should just die in laughter, and you wont have to be embarrased, I think.

126

jorcon74 t1_jaaarxl wrote

Great story! Let us know how it works out!

3

get-r-done-idaho t1_jaad8kx wrote

Put a glue on mustache and googly eyes on it. Take it to your parents and introduce them to their new son in law. LOL.

13

butlesslame t1_jaal7jb wrote

Hit up the manufacturer for a new one LOL

2

DenOfIsolation t1_jaapl1q wrote

Ya’ know. If it’s the same manufacturer as one that my wife cheats on me with it’s too expensive to just give up on. (Just kidding on the “cheating” thing. I’m just fine with her buzzy buddy.😉)

2

FayGurry t1_jaasklq wrote

What brand/model of vibrator?

−1

quicktick t1_jaavr31 wrote

Disassemble it and pull out the power source. Break it open with a hammer if you can't figure out how to open it

1

isnotazombie t1_jaawlx7 wrote

Glad you all were able to laugh about it.

FYI, a lot of the higher-end brands have good warranties on their toys, it's worth reaching out to them to check.

17

miassecret t1_jaawuwa wrote

Ahhhhhh!!!!! Oh nooooo! Mine hooks up to the blue tooth on my phone for remote fun and I had opened my phone/app for something else and it turned it on in the bedroom. Scared the crap out of my poor dog!!! Luckily no parents. I’m glad they were cool :)

17

Femmeferret t1_jab7f7f wrote

Hahahaha this was hilarious, your parents will never let you forget this....Omg I was in tears lmfao

7

QuixoticJames t1_jabcgy1 wrote

Fun Factory? They've got glitchy controls. I too have been haunted.

1

Caffeinated_Spoon t1_jabfx9y wrote

I am deceased. This is the best story ever (and I am so glad it happened to YOU... and not me, lol)

edit: and so you can have a good laugh at my own misfortune, here's a story for you:

My husband and I used to keep our toys in one of the drawers of the headboard. Perfect place, nice and convenient, right? Lube too. Until it wasn't the perfect place.

My oldest, when he was about 2, went down for a nap on my bed. He was out pretty hard so I left the monitor on and closed the door, and went about my day. A few hours later, I heard him awake and went to go get him. Unfortunately for me... he woke up and QUIETLY started to poke around. The monitor didn't pick it up because it was across the room. He was covered head to toe in lube, and had managed to turn on one of the toys.... and was chewing on it. Because one of his teething toys vibrated a bit when you bit it. Thank fuck we clean VERY well after every use, but I binned that toy, and the other one he had in his hand.

He got a bath, and the rest of the toys got a new home.

3

Els_ t1_jabg5du wrote

Does it say booooobies

3

leb00009 t1_jabhi02 wrote

If your room is below your parents’ room, why did your dad go upstairs when doing his Sherlock Holmes?

5

javalove1 t1_jabmflg wrote

It's safe to assume the parents room is on the ground floor along with their living room and kitchen...upstairs on the second floor would have more bedrooms ..hence the family being in the living room the father had to investigate the sound coming from upstairs

3

JoeDaStudd t1_jac7jb5 wrote

Check if there is a button combination to put it into travel mode.
It's probably messed up and put it's self into that whilst it was turned on.

1

CaffeLungo t1_jac9asu wrote

keep it in your pants...no use in not taking advantage

5

v0kk3r t1_jachz1l wrote

Want to stop it vibrating for good and don't care about breaking it? Hammer time! But careful tho, battery liquid is dangerous so do it outside and slowly

2

Lumpy-Ad-3201 t1_jacl3v0 wrote

Either contact the manufacturer about the defect and see if they would be willing to replace it, especially given the embarrassment, or chalk it up to a wash. If you need to dispose of it, you can carefully cut the silicon shell with a razor and peel it off. Since silicon is heat resistant, you can dip it in boiling water to sterilize it with no risk. Many places have silicon recycling stations, and cut up into manageable chunks, few people will guess what it was.

The battery can be pulled out and taken to a battery recycling station risk-free, since the same battery powers multiple items. If anything else, just say you found it and wanted to do the right thing with it. The circuitry can be dropped off at a lot of office supply stores in the tech disposal bin where they reclaim the metals and safely dispose of the board. And the motor can simply be pitched.

If you need a replacement and have a few coins to throw, look into the We-Vibe Nova 2 or Rave, or the Lelo Saroyo Wave. A touch pricey, but excellent replacements. After this event, I think you deserve the upgrades. Best of luck. If you need recommendations for a product, let me know (I work with a major sex toy manufacturer as a product tester as a sideline).

2

CO_Brit t1_jacqe4b wrote

I had a similar issue with a sonicare toothbrush. Despite being waterproof, it eventually let water in, which corroded the circuit board, and caused it to go on and off at random intervals. I broke into it (the bottom is a plug), cleaned it, but this still didn't completely resolve it. So had it apart again and cut the battery wire.

TL:DR, break into it and cut the battery wire.

2

accidentallyagamer OP t1_jacsi1x wrote

Yeah someone else had this idea as well, me personally? Not very fond of messing with electrical devices, also! I do not think you truly thought about the silicone v/s hammer combination...🤔

2

v0kk3r t1_jactaoc wrote

Oh if it is about the silicone you can start by spraying WD-40 on it and scrapping it off, it breaks down with WD-40. As for the electronics the only real danger (implying it isn't plugged into the wall) is the battery in case it is made with lithium in it Wich reacts strongly when in contact with water. Your safest bet is probably to wait for the battery to die or maybe leaving it submerged for an extended period of time (no device is truly waterproof, only water-resistant). Best of luck dealing with it.

1

v0kk3r t1_jacutre wrote

"Silicone dies to anti-rust spray. Dangerous battery juice boom boom only when touches water. Vibrator can drown if left underwater long enough". Hablo español, no entiendo a qué refieres, lo siento

2

tossaway69420lol t1_jacxrua wrote

TIFU:

SEX/PENIS/DILDO/VAGINA STUFF HAPPENED! I AM YOUNG WOMAN.

-Reddit

−1

Hotpocket1515 t1_jad5y97 wrote

Man I'd just whip that bitch in the streets and break it lmao

1

chuntttttty t1_jad8v63 wrote

My fiance and I have a toy that turns on, and turns UP, but won't turn down or off. We think the button broke. We simply plug it in and it shuts right off. Definitely try this if it happens again!

7

beerandasmoke t1_jae5kd2 wrote

I read an erotica horror story like this in the 90s. Woman buys a vibrator and discovers its alive and it sort of becomes like a pet. Fast forward a few days and her ex breaks in and assaults her. The vibrator flips out and straight up murders the guy when hes on top of her trying to rape her. Let's just say it went in one end and came out the other lol.

3