pressabba t1_jdehww2 wrote
Some mistakes are too easy to make and can really cause damage. Maybe just write a short apology letter with a small gift. Don't beat yourself up, I'm sure the way you feel will help you be more mindful about stuff like that in the future
RissoldeChocolate t1_jdh7hbr wrote
People need to stop being so fragile, she has the right to be ubset, but OP already apologised. No need for gifts or writen apologies. Do I have to apologise for walking next to paraplegic person, or see next to a blind person? No. Its just a picture of a baby, he meant no harm in showing it, theres no need to make a fuss about it.
Sinusayan t1_jdiap2m wrote
While well meaning, I think that's a bit much.
Look, I'm struggling with infertility myself, and it's rough sometimes hearing about everyone else's pregnancies and new babies, but I'm still happy for them. My brother apologized to me privately after they announced their latest pregnancy (now a beautiful newborn), and it was mostly for any hurt the news might have caused, and while I appreciate the sentiment, he didn't do anything to hurt me.
It's good that OP apologized, but writing a letter and giving her a gift would be making a very big deal out of it, which might even make it worse.
davtruss t1_jdgytup wrote
I'm not going to guess who is or isn't a woman on reddit, but if I could line up boys and men, I would teach them what one should and should not say to ANY girl or woman about reproduction.
And I would hope those boys and men would collaborate with the women in their lives to help girls and women know how to address reproductive blessings and challenges in a way that doesn't cause unnecessary pain to friends and family members.
There is no greater challenge in life than remembering somebody else's grief in the midst of one's joy.
kota250 t1_jdeprc1 wrote
OP has no reason to apologize, just because she can’t have kids doesn’t mean everyone in her life can no longer talk about kids. The only one that should apologize is her for the remark she made trying to make OP feel bad and playing victim. There’s billions of people in the world and her problems aren’t at the center of it
pressabba t1_jderkmj wrote
You must have zero experience with miscarriages. If you did, you would feel differently.
Plus they are friends. Personally, if I am insensitive and hurt a friend's feelings, I apologize with sincerity. But that's just me. It might make op feel better too.
This is not meant as an insult, but you have a lot to learn about maintaining friendships.
MysteriousMist24 t1_jdet9rd wrote
Ex friend. We fell out a some months ago and haven't spoken since. This just came up today and thought I'd share it as I still felt a tiny bit bad.
davtruss t1_jdgz8ma wrote
You speak the truth. My older sister had a 13 year old son who was an usher in my wedding. My younger sister had a 4 year old daughter who was the flower girl, and she was pregnant again.
NOBODY knew (for years) that my older sister had just gotten pregnant and miscarried before the wedding, which explained why she sat in the car. If my younger sister had known, it may have avoided years of family discord.
My greatest hope is that people would be both sensitive and to the extent possible, forthcoming about the source of very private problems. And as for friends, well, even good friends suck from time to time.
The best a good friend can do is say I'm sorry in a sincere way and hope you can keep the friend.
kota250 t1_jdet7ff wrote
Nah I don’t have to maintain my friends like they’re some sort of machine that’ll break down on me, my group of friends have been friends for over 20 years. In a situation exactly like this we would all know how much it sucks but none of them would make a remark like this expecting pity from one of us.
Sinusayan t1_jdigfu8 wrote
Your friend group wouldn't be sympathetic if one of them said they'd just miscarried?
dragonema t1_jdf6b91 wrote
>e this and I sympathised with her and everything.
>
>Then a few days later another friend of mine had a baby and I showed a picture of him to the first friend, completely forgetting that she couldn't hav
Holy shit. You were going hard for the terrible take here, huh? Kudos.
Simplafly t1_jdfudvd wrote
Totally agree
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