I understand where you're coming from with this. You're right about the romanticizing. Like another comment said, I never actually had a relationship with her. It could easily not work like I imagine. I more just meant it in that I've known this girl for 8 years now. I took her for granted. I know our dynamic has always been amazing and I never really took notice of it.

And I guess I worded poorly about the checklist because I don't want it to sound like she's a thing for me to have. I don't view her that way at all. Or maybe my view is skewed to where I don't see it. But I more meant that through therapy, I felt like I had the realization of what I truly want in life. I was ready. And the epiphany hit that it was in front of me the whole time. At least that's how it felt.

Also, the "just missed it" was more in reference to that epiphany coming a month into her starting this relationship with her now fiance. More in me wishing I realized sooner. I am aware she is her own person and wasn't just there waiting for me. I thought I even mentioned that in my post but I don't think it came through clearly. I have no blame toward her in any of this. She's living her life and finding love as she should. She owes me nothing.

But I still see points in what you're saying and, trust me, Taylor will be the subject of many therapy sessions to come while I sort things out.