Submitted by Independent-Yak9490 t3_10pcnjs in tifu

Me and a good friend of mine often hang out in restaurants. Since we are both university students and quite busy, we usually go for dinner.

This time we also went quite late in the evening, and since I was working on my computer all day, I was feeling very tired, my eyes were sore and I had a pretty bad head ache. I was kind of zoned out the whole time, not really paying attention to anything. The waitress came and took our order, and as she was leaving, my friend turned to me with a horrified face and said “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??”. I just looked at him with confusion, having no idea what he was talking about. I asked him what he meant, and his response was: “the thing you did. The thing with your eyes. That’s hella racist”.

I was still confused about what he was saying, but then it finally hit me. There is this thing I do when my eyes are cramping and giving me a head ache, where I just run my fingers through my eyes and pull the corners up and away really tight and keep them pulled like that for a few seconds. It helps to relax my eyes and ease the pain. And yes, it looks exactly like the gesture people use to mock asians for their eyes. Until now I was not even really conscious of doing it.

Unfortunately for me, I happened to do this exact same thing when the waitress came to pick up our order. Then I realized the worst thing: our waitress was asian, and in my zoned out state, I stared right into her face while doing the gesture.

Needless to say, she did not come back to our table. I’m secretly praying she did not notice it but the chances are pretty low.

TL;DR: my eyes were hurting and as an attempt to massage them, I accidentally made a racist eye pull gesture at our asian waitress.

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Comments

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ChiangRai t1_j6jqqoc wrote

Maybe send a card to the restaurant attention manager, clarifying the truth. The manager can decide to show it to their staff or not. I’d want the truth to be offered if I ever was going to go back or not

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Upvotespoodles t1_j6mals0 wrote

I second this. She doesn’t deserve to have an experience of blatant racism stuck in her head. This kind of encounter colors your perspective, and it really hurts to be on the receiving end.

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Psych-Vader t1_j6l53nq wrote

Why didn't you just go and apologize and tell her what you were doing?

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Fauropitotto t1_j6la67s wrote

And then just stop doing that thing. Immediately.

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changerofbits t1_j6lugjq wrote

OP back at the restaurant at closing and catches the waitress leaving: “Hi, this is awkward, but I wanted to apologize if what I did earlier in the night upset you. I’ve been studying a lot lately and my eyes, uhh, oh no, my eyes, they, crap (starts pulling on eyes while bowing over in pain and letting out high pitch kung fu-like noises of relief) Where are you going? No, I’m not trying to do anything offensive! I swear! You don’t have to run away…”

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OMGoblin t1_j6mft8u wrote

Idk, I manage to do something similar with just one hand, it doesn't look offensive that way. Just figure out a way to do it without offending anyone, if their hands are too small to use one, then continue using two but stare down into your lap before doing it, not at somebody because that's creepy anyways.

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Fauropitotto t1_j6mk1ne wrote

OP seems pretty oblivious. I find it hard to believe they'd have the presence of mind to switch to a new "method" and keep the new method for their rest of their lives.

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occultatum-nomen t1_j6kur54 wrote

Oooh boy. She 100% noticed. I know I would definitely notice and take note if something gestured like that while looking at me.

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MikeHock_is_GONE t1_j6lggs3 wrote

Did you eat the food the chef spit in for her?

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SstabSstab t1_j6lvyz5 wrote

Wouldn’t be just the chef if they interpreted it that way. Source worked in too many restaurants.

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bros402 t1_j6ldwn6 wrote

Go in, say you wanted to give a generous tip to the waitress. Include a note with it

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Daftworks t1_j6lvzvu wrote

There's something wrong with your eyes if you have to do that whole routine to get them to relax.

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Devi1_May_Cry t1_j6m4fsh wrote

Right? I get frequent headaches. I read a lot and spend a lot of time in front of screens (I'm in IT) and my eyes get dry and tired easily. I've never had to do anything like that to my eyes.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_j6kp2e1 wrote

Try to buy some blue light glasses, they help with the glare when staring at a computer for long periods

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PaperSpartan42 t1_j6kt7gr wrote

Apparantly no hard evidence to support this.b

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BloodlustROFLNIFE t1_j6l0yfz wrote

But the cool trendy companies who make them told me they do!

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twochain2 t1_j6lu33j wrote

You mean Apple? Isn’t there a setting for your smartphones also?

I used to have it for my Samsung and it was amazing hard evidence or not. Swapping back to the normal version hurt my eyes so much.

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angelerulastiel t1_j6l5agu wrote

I find them helpful, although I think they are doing more about the fluorescent lights than the computer, because I don’t need them at home.

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psibomber t1_j6l8in2 wrote

There's nothing wrong with you. You were just rubbing your eyes. You didn't say anything to mock her, you didn't intend to. Your friend misunderstood you. Unless your friend is saying she was the one who thought it was racist, just move on with your life and leave a good tip next time you visit the restaurant.

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Devi1_May_Cry t1_j6m4ikf wrote

Hey, the next time you do that thing with your thumb and index finger to work out the arthritis, make sure you get the Italian waiter.

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rrfe t1_j6m4z2h wrote

I was with a friend at a steakhouse in the 2000s, who was trying to be suave. The bald-headed waiter took our order, and he said “thanks my man” as they left the table.

The waitress was a female. She didn’t serve us for the rest of the evening.

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fauxfurgopher t1_j6njvo3 wrote

I did this same thing once! Only it’s because I have an astigmatism.

I was at the counter of a Chinese food stand trying to read the overhead menu. If I stretch my eyes out it will improve my astigmatism somewhat, so that’s what I did so I could read it. It only hit me that I was doing something wrong when I noticed two of the Chinese guys behind the counter staring at me. I was mortified! I left. No Chinese food for me that day.

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