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TheReal_AlphaPatriot t1_j6ljxfw wrote

Yes, but MY keyboard has MY colony-forming units of bacteria that came from MY hands and I already have a good relationship with that bacteria. There’s nothing that’s going to kill me.

But it really grosses me out to use someone else’s keyboard. Or phone.

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wanawanka t1_j6lvr3x wrote

Seriously. Same with the whole flushing the toilet is like setting off a poop bomb in your bathroom. But like, if these were ACTUAL problems wouldnt we all be dying of dysentery and the plague?

Just wash your hands before you fingerbang strangers' mouths, and don't...hold your mouth over the toilet bowl when you flush like ur collecting snowflakes and I think we're all gonna just keep living our lives.

Edit: I'm not a doctor. This is speculation. But I just think there are more dangerous sources of disease.

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RussianTrumpOff2Jail t1_j6nb4c4 wrote

>and don't...hold your mouth over the toilet bowl when you flush like ur collecting snowflakes

On the toilet rn, will try to remember this.

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Shuggaloaf t1_j6nmpq7 wrote

How'd it go?

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ArchaKun t1_j6noqvm wrote

He's dead, Jim.

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Shuggaloaf t1_j6nte9c wrote

He died as he lived, by boldly going where no man has gone before.

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Tru-Queer t1_j6npebu wrote

Well ya see he hit the bowl with such force his log bounced out of the toilet and he choked to death. Talk about a way to go.

Smooth move, Exlax.

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nrfx t1_j6lm7pv wrote

Other people's keyboards are one of the grossest things I can think of.

Everyone seen that picture of the communal Fleshlight at burning man yeah?

Same energy.

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hobbitdude13 t1_j6lo27f wrote

>communal fleshlight

That is an unholy combination of words.

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DanishWonder t1_j6mlk7l wrote

Yep. That link is staying blue.

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Slinkyfest2005 t1_j6n7np9 wrote

It's pretty tame. Pretty sure it was just an art install designed to dredge horror in the mind of folks as opposed to an actual public toy.

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[deleted] t1_j6mi8cq wrote

Well what's your nickname huh? No one gets to pick theirs you know

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Starkrall t1_j6o6137 wrote

I saw a gamertag the other night that puts all cursed phrases to shame: DaughterMilker

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LowLeftMarksman t1_j6lms14 wrote

Ex fucking scuse me? Communal fleshlight?

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Mr_Yuker t1_j6ltkfk wrote

Yes it's for the community... Don't try to take it home with you sir

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peepeedog t1_j6lounb wrote

How else are you going to get aids by jacking off?

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Xszit t1_j6lmsmn wrote

The dirtiest place in the office is the top of the hand sanitizer pump.

Nobody touches the sanitizer pump because they have clean hands and I've never seen anyone sanitize the pump after they do their hands.

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I_wont_argue t1_j6mdw8t wrote

Do you just pump the sanitizer on your one hand and not sanitize the hand you used to press the pump or what ? You literally sanitize your hand 5 seconds later so it does not matter what you touched just before that.

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[deleted] t1_j6mibcm wrote

You wanna use my bar of soap after I rim with it?

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fml_ianal t1_j6mtqx2 wrote

You press the sanitizer dispenser with your asshole?!

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Daftworks t1_j6lz0v0 wrote

That's why our office has those automatic dispensers

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Lecanoscopy t1_j6me8gw wrote

Ha ha I do. I work with kids. Sanitize all the things.

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ShameSpearofPain t1_j6lmdnl wrote

Using one of those compressed air canisters to clean out the keys of a shared keyboard is so disgusting.

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shibaninja t1_j6lp0df wrote

Thank you for reminding me of that.. aaaand I'm done redditing for the day..

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jcozzy27 t1_j6m5rzv wrote

Can just imagine the sign shop taking this order holy shit!

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Mr_Yuker t1_j6ltgbz wrote

I've been dragging my balls across your keyboard for years at this point

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BCProgramming t1_j6lx2nu wrote

It's just me here, and my keyboard bacteria. Relationships will be difficult, but not impossible.

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technicalityNDBO t1_j6mzcdl wrote

Exactly. The bacteria got onto your keyboard from your hands. The same hands you'd use to rub your eyes, or pick a popcorn kernel out of your teeth.

It's just a stigma like with saliva. We spend all day swallowing our own saliva. But if we spit into a glass and drank it out of there, it would be gross for some reason.

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ChiggaOG t1_j6lpvfo wrote

Bet you didn't know it probably contains a colony of staphylococcus and streptococcus bacteria.

Source: Me; eating food right at my desk with my bare hands after touching my keyboard to get a canker sore a few days later. Also, I have gotten a sore throat.

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Devil_May_Kare t1_j6m6ugj wrote

A few percent of people are asymptomatic carriers of MRSA in their skin microbiome. MRSA can kill if a few things go wrong at once. It usually sits there being dormant or causing transient infections like pimples, because Staphylococcus aureus gonna S. aureus, but it can sometimes get into your soft tissue and lungs and blood and then kill you if not adequately treated (and adequate treatment is hard because MRSA is immune to a lot of our favorite antibiotics).

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Tankeverket t1_j6ml02a wrote

In/on/over ear headphones, keyboard, mouse, hats/caps, phone

These are very gross and my top 5 most gross things that you can use that aren't yours

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jooes t1_j6m5e10 wrote

Phones especially, people bring those everywhere.

Plenty of people jerk off to internet porn, phone in one hand, dick/vagina in the other. Your phone is covered in all sorts of bodily fluids. Maybe you wash your hands (and that's a big maybe), but you're not washing your phone.

Literally everybody brings their phone into the bathroom. Everybody surfs the web while they're taking a shit. Your hands are covered in god knows what, and then they put the phone down on the nasty-ass fucking counter, wash their hands (hopefully), and immediately pick it back up again. Why bother washing your hands if you're not going to wash your phone?

People bring them into the kitchen to follow recipes. Cut some chicken, scroll to the next step, wash hands maybe, dice some onions, scroll to the next step...

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WastefulWatcher t1_j6mekpa wrote

I literally wash my phone. Why not? It’s waterproof to that degree anyway.

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Dragmire800 t1_j6oc12s wrote

For $1 million, I’d eat my own shit, but I wouldn’t eat a stranger’s shit

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RedSonGamble t1_j6lmdcl wrote

Or toilet.

But yea just like you won’t get sick from ingesting your own feces. (Except in very rare/specific situations) Basically if it comes from you it’s fine to ingest.

And yes you can take this statement to the extreme and be like well if that’s only what you live off of it will kill you. Sure. But that’s not what I mean.

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