Submitted by guacamole_is_extra t3_yfdr8s in washingtondc
As a very last minute Halloween costume my husband is going to wear a blue checked button-down, a Patagonia vest, a superhero crest that says DC BRO and have quotes like the following stuck to him
What else should we add?
Yeah, lemme get two shots of fireball and a miller light
Is Rosslyn a safe neighborhood?
I live in Gaithursburg (deadpan)
Bro I can get you this job, just trust me
Come meet me at Dacha
I moved here for work about 2 years ago
I'm tryna hit up J Crew after lunch at District Taco
Add me on LinkedIn
"Navy Yard is the new Eckington" is hilarious in hindsight.
DC Bro or Deloitte SC?
"I'm from DC" "What part?" "Clarendon."
"I'm flying out of Reagan"
"I vote Republican mainly for economic issues."
"Ian Mackey" gets me every time.
Fun fact: the star of the video hosted a show on VICE for a while, and IIRC now works as a producer for Jon Stewart's new Apple show.
As “bad” as they are, I will choose them any day over Austin or SF douche bros
Can he please wear boat shoes too? I think it would really complete the outfit
This one has me rolling
Actively searching for boat shoes!
"Let's get shots at Mission"
He has the vest he knows what to say
"I don't want to vote for Republicans but the left is just out of control with their wokeness"
I'm going to find a way to use this statement in my next meeting.
ACCURATE x infinite
"I moved here for work about 2 years ago" **so perfect**
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'The extremes on both sides...'
The outfit isn't complete without slim cut khakis and brown oxfords.
After asking some friends and adding my favorites from here, here is my comprehensive list
Nice to meet you. So what do you do for a living?
I know this secret spot called founding farmers
You got a business card, bro?
The happy hour there is sick. You can get a Miller Light for only like $8.
Yeah, I’m a native. Been here a whole year
Stands on the left
Whenever anyone visits I take them straight to Georgetown cupcake
Where do you live in DC? Clarendon
My girlfriend and I met on LinkedIn
I’m getting an MBA as a hobby
Socially liberal fiscally conservative
Sprained ankle dodging a rat on a lime scooter
Blacks out at brunch
We need to hotwash the big ask so we can parameterize the heavy lift
I’ll probably go into policy in a few years
It’s not what you know it’s who you know
I totally could have gone to an ivy but I really wanted to pick a place with a good lacrosse program
I went to Harvard (for the weekend)
Dope blazer! Is that J. Crew?
My life is basically exactly like the West Wing
Sorry, that’s actually confidential
Yeah, I do have a security clearance….
What?
Oh sorry. I though you asked for my SAT score
How many AP classes did you take in high school?
Ah memories of Fur 😂
Hey my culture is not your Halloween costume!
Put a LinkedIn QR code on his costume
This is every city, just replace the business and neighborhood names
“Did you know Deloitte is more selective than Harvard?”
ASAPSocky t1_iu35jp0 wrote
"Let's go to this cool bar called Shenanigans"
"Yeah so I actually live in Arlington"
"I know the bouncer at Decade's, he'll for sure let us in"