"You humans sure have a strange sense of humor. Sure, your planet totally has huge bodies of water that cover most of the surface. As if something so scarce would just be found falling from the sky. I guess when we reach your home world tomorrow you can show us all these fantasies in person!" One of the first exchange students in the first wave of cultural exchanges said.

I laughed. "We're exiting FTL in a couple minutes, you'll see it then."

There was a pop as the ship broke enough laws of physics for inertia to momentarily stop applying, then the blast shutters on the observation deck raised.

Below was Earth, blue and green with touches of white where mountains pierced the clouds. I watched the mouths of the aliens fall open as North America came into view, with what looked like a Category 3 hurricane over the Atlantic Ocean.

"So... much... water... How did your planet have so much?" One asked.

I smiled, thinking of all of my memories playing in lakes and oceans, riding boats and looking at the rain. "Gravity exoskeletons, people; we're going to dock to the Space Elevator shortly. Then, you'll see."

"I wish to go to Heaven."

For three seconds.

"I wish to not be tortured."

For three seconds.

"I wish to have more wishes."

That don't do anything.

"I wish to go to Heaven forever."

Departing: At the end of time.

"I wish to be able to redeem myself back to Heaven."

Yeah, that's how Hell works.

"I wish to... Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to wait."

Again? Well...

“I wish to rule Hell itself.”

Paperwork job in middle management.

“I wish to live a luxurious life.”

Buddy, you’re dead.

“I wish for nothing.”

Good luck not existing!

“I’m going to save my wish for later.”

Ah, yes, time to - wait, what?

I looked closer. This man had prevented nuclear war by hacking to nukes and sending them to Mars. But he broke enough laws in the process to be sent down here. Why wasn’t he in the Atheist section?

“People died in the riots and guerrilla war that ensued.”

Well. For the first time in centuries…

I got to judge.

Humans, also known as Daemons due to their fighting techniques, were finally put to heel. By an adventuring party of elves, we managed to infiltrate and kill their King.

But as he died and we were taken prisoner, not caring because we had finally won the war, we were shown a 'video.'

"This is a primer for any defectors to our cause, and stands as an introductory video into why the Beastpeople And Human Republic do as we do." the man we had just killed said.

"In the Terran year 2049 AD, Terra-Humanity, unified as the Terra Firma Systems Union, or TFSU, created a portal to an alternate dimension. Our alternate dimension. Terra-Humanity had recently united, and shared the same with us. They were... careful about it. They guided us around mistakes, but made sure we did each step on our own. By the year 74,029 Elven Rein, a mere one hundred years after first contact, the lifespans of Etheria-Humanity and the Beastpeople was up to one hundred years. By 74,128, we had matched Terra-Humanity with agelessness, and The Uplift was complete, despite the technological disparity as Terra-Humanity continued to develop.

"We had moved not quite as fast as Terra-Humanity, but fast none-the-less. The Beastpeople And Human Republic, known as the BAHR was our own unified government, and we were doing well. As the two most overlooked peoples of Etheria, getting a grand total of four visitors over the entire course of The Uplift, began to successfully reach for the stars. We left Etheria behind, and became the first from Etheria to venture out into the cosmos.

"But we couldn't fully leave Etheria behind - sure, people might not care much, but this is our sentimental home. So, with the assistance of the TFSU and the Inter-dimensional Gateway project, we began to subtly uplift the rest of Etheria. The printing press, the granola bar, fast food - these are all things both the BAHR and TFSU invented on our own. We shared them, and we tried, oh how we tried, to bring the prosperity we both were given and found ourselves to Etheria.

"But that wasn't enough. Corruption, enough to stagnate invention for the past seventy-five thousand years, they did not like the BAHR and, even if they didn't know it, the TFSU. So they attacked. Dwarves, Elves, Orcs, all in one massive campaign to stop our 'dark magics' of using the nature of the cosmos to create machines.

"So here we are, at the end of it all. By the time you watch this video, I am most likely dead; swords kill, after all. But I beg you. Do what I could not, and bring Etheria to a new age. Touch our suns; the TFSU have done their's. Land on a planet orbiting a distant star; we have, and we wish for you to as well. Travel faster than the speed of light, and make this all available to the common population.

"The BAHR cannot maintain such a prolonged conflict as this one, despite the backing of the TFSU. But..." The man sighed, and put his head in his hands. "Take my crown, one not of gold, but of responsibility; take my sword, not one of steel, but one of knowledge; Do what the best of the best in an alternate dimension could not, and bring not just peace, but true prosperity to these lands, and with it, innovation.

"I am, I was, Electorate David Daemon, winner of the one hundred and third election of the BAHR. Signing of; Power to the people."

"Don't make us do this, please." Electorate Kala, elected leader of Humanity, begged the inter-dimensional aliens that were attacking Earth. "Don't..."

In High Earth Orbit, a city-destroying laser charged up, ready to blast through the venerable wall of debris below.

"I..." Electorate Kala slumped, her hand pushing the button and firing a simple electronic circuit.

"THIS IS AN AUTOMATED BROADCAST BY THE TERRA FIRMA SYSTEMS UNION GOVERNMENT. TO THE SCP CONTAINMENT FOUNDATION AND QUANTUM TEAM RESEARCH LABORATORIES, CODE BLACK HORIZONS HAS BEEN REMOVED. LAST STAND PROTOCOLS ARE IN EFFECT. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO USE EVERYTHING IN YOUR ARSENAL WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS, INCLUDING COLLATERAL DEATH OF CIVILIANS.

"TO THE CIVILIAN POPULATION OF THE TFSU, THE XK-BUNKER SYSTEM IS CLOSED. MAY SOME OF YOU SURVIVE THE ONCOMING WALL OF DEATH.

"TO THE SOURCE OF THE CODE BLACK HORIZONS AND LAST STAND PROTOCOL, THIS IS YOUR FAULT."

A nuclear device detonated in the distance, over a containment facility housing a single infamous anomaly. Every electronic device suddenly showed a picture of a man on a mountain and four pixels of some creature in the background, before instead switching to randomly flashing memetic kill agents. Every speaker played the deadliest assortment of audiocognitohazards that were known.

Scientists turned on creations who had been designed to not be, and all over... everywhere, death grasped the invading army.

A single tear dropped down Electorate Kala's cheek as the Earth not only burned, but died right under her feet. She closed her eyes, and let the end hit her.

SCP-682 Has been nuked, as per protocol.

SCP-096 has been shown, as per protocol.

SCP-048 has been unlocked, as per protocol.

SCP-008 has been dispensed, as per protocol.

SCP-963 has left Foundation property to become somebody else's problem.

SCP-076 has been given a target.

SCP-106 has been released.

SCP-8001 KATHULU has been summoned. Evra vesque Inumiki!!!

"I'm not sorry. I did what I had to." I stared down the camera. I was ready.

A police officer asked. "Mr. Johnson, are you sur-"

"I am. We all know what I did, why I did it, and I would think the rest of you folks would be grateful enough to still be alive to forgive me." I spat.

"You know how it all started?" I spat again at the closest camera. They'd already sentenced James to death, I knew what was coming. "James, my old classmate, he approached me. Said he didn't want to die in nuclear fire, he had an idea. Rodney was already in. We would forcefully disarm the world of its nukes, saving your sorry brains. I would kill Chinese leadership, make sure that they would be headless and that the Terra Firma Systems Union would swallow them. The TFSU had too many redundancies, it had to be China. Rodney would hack TFSU nukes using his insider position, and James would hack Chinese nukes. Send 'em to the moon, they can't hurt anyone there."

"They did their jobs, I did mine. No nukes meant conventional warfare, which meant everyone is still alive. The Chinese always defuse that stuff at the last minute, live stream purposes. I got past it by setting the thing to explode at twenty to go." I stared at the international court below me. "James did his thing, and I'm no computer scientist, don't ask me how Rodney got past Canada AI. Maybe she let him through, didn't want to die either.

"I don't care. I'm not sorry for the people killed in riots, the soldiers killed in the war. They would've all died anyway, in a ball of plasma, fire, and radiation. Send me to Hell, I know I'm going there; I did what I had to, and you all know it." I ended my rant breathing heavily, eyes glaring at the court and cameras above me. "So do it. Get me back to Rodney and James. But we both know what we prevented."

The judges gave their answer. "Mr. Charlie Johnson, for regicide, assassination, and high-profile terrorist actions, the International Court of the United Nations finds you guilty and sentences you to death."

I watched the officers raise their weapons.

"I'm not sorry. I did what I had to."

A bang, then darkness.

When we lost contact with the Voyager probes, our curiosity was piqued. So we pointed telescopes out to where Voyager I and II should have been.

When we lost the stars, we panicked. We had our sun. But we had no background cosmic radiation, not a single photon from the greater universe coming our way.

In seven months, we warred; the Polish took the entire planet, then renamed themselves to the Terra Firma System Union. A reminder that we still had Terra.

We discovered Hard Light just after the war, and with it, we sent probes all over our system.

Then, the stars came back.

We were on the opposite side of the Milky way, in another thousand-light-year wide anti-star bubble. No matter. We poured all our resources into FTL. Every last person helped. And then we had the GEP FTL Engine, able to cross that thousand light-year gap in mere days.

But we didn't head for the closest star. We went for Centauri. It was ours, and would be ours.

And what did we find when we arrived?

You.

You, the ones who ripped us away from the same stars that pushed us to land on our moon. You, the ones who caused another World War to happen. You, the ones responsible.

Even though Sol is gone, this place is still ours, and we will fight tooth-and-nail to make it happen. Leave this place and a one thousand five hundred light year bubble around where Sol used to be. Or we'll happily start the Humanity's first interstellar war crawling our way back to where Sol's original home.

Leave.

Inspired? No. Leave opportunity for? Of course.

"Dear god," I muttered to myself. I was tempted to flick on the outside camera, but I knew better than to use science here.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I opened the cabin door. "Hello, how can I help you today?"

"Yeah," the Hero said. "We have a problem."

"You've been having problems all your life. I'm not a magic problem solver." I retorted.

"I need your skills!" the Hero protested. "The Underdark is attempting to invade the overworld once more and destroy the balance of the-"

"I told you on Oorbous," I said in a low voice, "That, if you chose to return, we were done. You did you, I did me, and our time together was over. I have not forgotten, James, nor do I intend to. Unlike you, I am done with all this crap. Give me a planetary threat and I'll come out of retirement, and not a second sooner!"

"But the Underdark is a-"

"Do you know what a planetary threat is?" I asked, not giving him time to answer. "No, you do not. When it comes, you will, and then you can journey to my bunker and cottage here on this mountainside and pull my aging body back into the Refresh Cycle. Until then, leave." I slammed the door into his face.

Oorbous. Where it all started and ended. Where I had chose to protect, while the Hero had chosen neither, but to continue what he was doing. I had already wisened up that it wasn't enough, but even his best companion was unable to pull him out of his bubble.

I had joined organisations slowly getting society to advance again. Small inventions, like fire pillows, and large inventions, like lumber mills, were being introduced as fast as we could find audiences for them. I was old, hundreds of years thanks to the Refresh Cycle, and I was ready to retire and die.

-----

James had finally learned to stay away for over two years now. He would do his thing, and me mine, and I was finally relaxing. In the morning, I would-

Knock-knock-knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock-knock-knock.

I jumped out of my bed sharply as I realized what I was hearing. Rushing to the door, I found James. "What now?" I grumbled.

James looked tired, as though he had spent the last month traveling without rest. So did the rest of his party. "XK," he said.

"What kind?"

"Alien invasion."

"Defenses?"

"None. They have antimagic in ways we have never seen."

"Public?"

"No."

"Foundation building up to it?"

"That's how I found out."

I sighed. "It's time I tell you why I chose what I did at Oorbous. Come inside. We have... a lot of talking to do. I'll cook something up." I smiled. "It's good to see a much saner James again, huh?"

He cracked a weary smile. "Yeah, well... it's been-"

"Don't." I said. "And don't just stand in the door all day."

I am the Narrator. I am the Producer. I am the Animator. I am the Special Effects Artist. I am the Director. Business Partner.

I am the behind-the-scenes.

Let me explain.

People have a 'narrative potential energy' which is how involved in a story they are. Some people have a high energy and are side characters in multiple stories, or are main characters and villains. Those with lower energies play a continually smaller roll until you get to zero.

I have a negative energy. I don't participate in the stories, I don't control anything about them. I only control how the public sees them. I am the one who edits the movies with those cuts, the only one on this godforsaken planet to work the stories to that they're used for their intended purposes. I am the one who tracks the jail cell of the antagonist for that last interview, the one who uses satellite imagery to figure out when that alien invasion will arrive.

I am the only person who can break the fourth wall properly. Not just say 'hi' to the news cameras, but control my breach. Replace things. Edit things. The number of times I've diverted nuclear war is too many to count.

I am the one who founded a very public SCP Foundation to make sure that millions don't die in monster attacks. I am the one who founded a very public Quantum Team, both the Disaster Prevention and Research Laboratories wings, to make sure people don't die. This planet is alive thanks to my efforts, and all the recognition I get is nothing, compared to every last being on this planet.

But today, today I met another Editor. We walk differently, see the world in a different light. We are not caught up in the stories each city tells one after the other. We see the world for what it really is, and try to fix it. We talked, apparently he came to add me to his cell so that way he has someone to call if his personal life gets in the way. We have a network of us Editors. The unintentional, unwanting controllers of the world.

"I'm not sorry. I did what I had to." I stared down the camera. I was ready.

A police officer asked. "Mr. Johnson, are you sur-"

"I am. We all know what I did, why I did it, and I would think the rest of you folks would be grateful enough to still be alive to forgive me." I spat.

"You know how it all started?" I spat at the closest camera. They'd already sentenced James to death, I knew what was coming. "James, my old classmate, he approached me. Said he didn't want to die in nuclear fire, he had an idea. Rodney was already in. We would forcefully disarm the world of its nukes, saving your sorry brains. I would kill Chinese leadership, make sure that they would be headless and that the Terra Firma Systems Union would swallow them. The TFSU had too many redundancies, it had to be China. Rodney would hack TFSU nukes using his insider position, and James would hack Chinese nukes. Send 'em to the moon, they can't hurt anyone there."

"They did their jobs, I did mine. No nukes meant conventional warfare, which meant everyone is still alive. The Chinese always defuse that stuff at the last minute, live stream purposes. I got past it by setting the thing to explode at twenty to go." I stared at the international court below me. "James did his thing, and I'm no computer scientist, don't ask me how Rodney got past Canada AI. Maybe she let him through, didn't want to die either.

"I don't care. I'm not sorry for the people killed in riots, the soldiers killed in the war. They would've all died anyway, in a ball of plasma, fire, and radiation. Send me to Hell, I know I'm going there; I did what I had to, and you all know it." I ended my rant breathing heavily, eyes glaring at the court and cameras above me. "So do it. Get me back to Rodney and James. But we both know what we prevented."

The judges gave their answer. "Mr. Charlie Johnson, for regicide, assassination, and high-profile terrorist actions, the International Court of the United Nations finds you guilty and sentences you to death."

I watched the officers raise their weapons. "I'm not sorry. I did what I had to."

A bang, then darkness.

Layers -> Lawyers fixed.

Well, the thing is nobody got permits to start mining the UK for gold for their coins. That's enough fraud and paperwork failures right there to throw the entire UK magical government in jail.

Now, there are magical people taking trains and doing whatever with counterfeit muggle money, etc.

Also, since when have countries just given their land to secret societies that break the laws of physics?

[EU] HARRY POTTER

Diary of [minister of magic 2026],

Day 318

The Canadian Magical Government Authority reached out recently regarding our ability to handle a 'cascade Veil/Mist failure scenario.' Paranoid as always, why should we worry about that? Still, they have made significant progress in the workings of complex spells, so I'll tolerate their useless efforts for now. At least it doesn't affect us.

Took the entire day, too, I was supposed to go to shopping at four!

Day 319

The CMGA clarified by stating that such an event is in progress and that we needed to activate our contingencies. I told them to go away, we know they'll share their progress anyway. No need for disturbances like that. Their representative freaked and left immediately.

I had a great tea meeting with Mithra, so that was good.

Day 320

Romania went under, got busted by Muggle authorities. 'special operations soldiers,' whatever that means. So the CMGA wasn't wrong, but I still don't know what 'cascade' means. They said that they were about to reveal themselves to Muggle governments. Go ahead, not like it affects us. God, why have they suddenly become the topic of the past few days?

In other news, I signed a new bylaw preventing people from wearing their cloaks inside out a weddings. Ridiculous that I had to do that to stop Cratus from doing it, but whatever.

Day 321

HOLY F*CK I KNOW WHAT CASCADE MEANS!!! HOLY FREAKING SH*T!!!

Day 321-2

So, a Muggle military team broke into the Office and arrested everyone there. People who didn't comply got hit by these things called 'guns,' basically injury wands. I have no idea how the Muggles discovered magic like that, it didn't show up on our radars. I managed to apparate away before they crammed me into one of their prison cars, but apparently they are aware of mages across the globe now.

Day 322

I called the Ministry Of Magic to war, only to find similar 'raids' had occurred across the country. Their cars are fast and silent, running on 'electricity;' They have flycraft! And so, so much more. The CMGA was right.

Speaking of, the CMGA got away scott-free, and was simply put under watch by the Canadian government. Their paranoia paid off, though given the number of long-held secrets and other elements of society falling apart, I suspect they knew this was going to happen. I wish I payed attention to their speeches.

Day 323

Our location was raided last night. We all ran, most of our number were captured. Around fourteen million wizards have been arrested, and another one million killed after they attempted to retaliate against soldiers.

The Muggles now have 'Portable Reality Anchors,' which essentially prevents magic in a certain location. This is getting worse and worse.

Day 324

There is nowhere left to hide, I have been running for ages now.

Day 324-2

Got caught. Well, turned myself in. I'm too tired to see straight, just wanted to write this down before going in....

Day 326

Was put in a muggle medical center for my injuries, I had sprained my ankle, apparently I had stage three cancer as well? Whatever that means, they have a treatment plan for it. Muggle society is so weird.

Besides that, Muggle prisons are stone cells with windows. Good to know, bad to find out the hard way. I got to keep my journal and a couple other things, but my want got confiscated.

Day 327

A muggle prison for wizards as a good place to drive everyone insane. We were each shown a 'video' on Muggle society. Apparently, it was a primer designed for 'aliens,' whatever those are, 'in case they found them,' but these guys have just as many contingencies as the CMGA! No wonder they intergrated their governments. Apparently, it saved 'Canada' a whole lot of paperwork as well, at least that much I understand.

In other news, we got reports that the Orks and Fey had teamed up against the Muggles. It did not go well. For our side. Those guns are more effective than wands!

Day 328

Radiation treatment for my cancer today, they had some other fancy word for it but I forget it. I don't understand a word the doctors said, and apparently even muggles struggle to get a grasp as well. Either way, I feel horrible, but they say rather feel horrible than feel dead. I suspect that the 'cancer' is fake, but it's not like I have a choice.

The CMGA is trying to scramble enough wizards to become lawyers faster enough to begin sorting through muggle court backlog regarding us magic folk from lack of representatives. The muggles won't let their own lawyers represent us because the societal differences are too large. So here I stay.

Day 329

The last of Fey resistance got crushed. Muggles have also taken Hogsmeade permanently after enough trouble there, they just built a military base next to the town.

I'm bored. Mithra isn't here to entertain me, why did this have to happen.

Day 331

Got my CMGA layer today, apparently my case takes less precedence than sorting out the Ministry's, of which I led. Makes sense. So, we, and every other magical government except the CMGA were charged with:

• Tax fraud over [highest penalty]
• Tax evasion
• Failure to pay taxes [highest penalty]
• Fraud
• Identity fraud
• Theft
• Identity theft
• Murder (come on, Voldemort, really?)

The list goes on. I swear, I hate lawyers. At least in the Ministry I didn't have to deal with that kind of thing!

Day 332

No defense, just plead guilty. Well. I saw that coming from ages away anyway. We're going to appeal to the murder, torture, crimes against humanity sapients (they renamed it), and the worst ones, but anything paperwork, time, or material related is done for.

Well. I doubt Harry Potter is going to help us get out of this one.

Goddammit, why did this go like this?

[EU] HARRY POTTER

Charlie Weasley. Keeping this journal for fun, why not.

Day 1

"Not a Dragon, no." Herkson replied to my accusation. "I'm... how do I put it? Right. Well, the thing is that non-magical folk have been using the fundamental realities of the universe to help them, and have recently found ways to see past the Veil. I'm a scout from the only magical government to keep up with the non-magical's society and figure out how bad the failure would be when, not if, the Veil Failure occurs."

I snorted. That was preposterous. Muggles, doing anything more than farming? What was this guy thinking.

Herkson looked serious. "The Canadian Magical Governance Agency is going to try to break it to society that magic is real. But this is more pressing. You guys have a hard enough time staying hidden when they aren't looking for you. Image eight billion people combing the world for you.

"Oh, and also: I took dragonology back in Canada. Your course lesson is completely backwards. For example, and hear me out now, dragons are sapient."

I laughed. This was getting crazy enough for me to scoff at it, and my reputation was already something to behold.

Herkson simply strolled out the door. "When the military comes, don't underestimate their guns." Then he was gone.

Day 18

I think I lost them.

When they came to Romania, I thought that it was a prank. Then they tried to arrest us. We opened fire, and they responded with those guns. I... I can still hear the sound they made. Global war against reality warpers, or whatever. The CMGA got out mostly unscathed, the moment the first reports landed on non-magical desks worldwide they already knew about the Veil Failure and came clean. Some policy thing about crime and fraud or another, I'm no politician, and they're fine.

Still, there's a team of the guys with guns on my trail. Were. I cast an illusion spell over myself and hid in a tree, they passed right under me. One of them looked at me with those black goggles, but I think they didn't notice me.

Day 21

No, no, no! They got me. When I came down, they sprang a trap. There was a ping and then fire all around. I woke up in a hospital, where they healed me using their own magic. Science, they called it. Workings of the universe. I should have taken Herkson seriously.

Day 34

Herkson visited me today. Said that as he was responsible for writing the report on Romania, he was the de-facto representative of the region, given that the CMGA got inducted into the Canadian government.

He said that he was sorry for not doing more. Around a million wizards are dead worldwide, and another fourteen million have been captured. Basically everyone with magical powers is currently under observation, and every magical government there is (excluding the CMGA) has been charged with every type of crime there is, Fraud, tax fraud, sales fraud, money laundering, murder, and more.

I regret everything. Why couldn't I have an open mind?

Day 48

So, the Dragonic Coalition is a thing, and they managed to get away from court without too many penalties. All of the dragons that burnt villages in ages past are dead of old age anyway. The dragons got assigned bodies that they can Transfigure into, IDs, and citizenship. That's it. And I am here in this hospital.

Day 108

Got out of the hospital today, right into prison for opening fire on government authorities. Who am I kidding. I just want to see Ron again.

Day 112

The family came to visit. Percy is caught up with the ministry, but Dad got away because of his position in writing laws. I'm so happy they're safe. Bill is fine, but couldn't come because every last wizard wants to withdraw their money.

Day 136

I signed a contract about the use of magic recently and got let go on 'probation,' which is essentially they trail me where I go. Moved back home to the Burrow immediately, and I'm just waiting here. Apparently, this would have gone faster but the CMGA is swamped representing people in court cases. I saw Herkson, the guy looked like he hadn't slept since we last met. I wouldn't be surpised if he hadn't.

Still. Welcome to the Muggle world, I guess.

Ten years of pranking each other had led up to this.

At first, it had started with ill intent. Spirit wanted me out, and I wanted Spirit out. But then it became more fun, just to see how we could catch each other off guard. And now, I was in front of Spirit, asking him for help.

“The HOA wants to make me remove that landscaping job I got done here two years ago.” I explained. “Or pay a two hundred dollars a day in fines, starting next week. I’m going to fight it in court, but in the meantime, I was wondering if you could prank the HOA instead.”

Spirit gave the idea little thought. “To make it stick, though, you’ll need to do something too, you know.”

“Of course, of course.” I waved my hand. “You coordinate your plans with me, and we’ll see how many coincidences we can pull off before they start losing their minds.”

“Oooh, psychological warfare, I like it… well, minor psychological fighting, anyway.” Spirit said. “OK, I agree. Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop pranking you, but I’d love to pull some of the old time pranks on them.”

I rolled my eyes. “You died in 2013, that isn’t exactly old-timely, but fine, whatever.

And wouldn’t you know it, three weeks later there were no fines.

"This is an automated emergency message from the SCP Research Foundation. An XK-class end-of-the world scenario caused by a ZK-class reality failure is attempting to occur across Earth. Proceed to your nearest XK-bunker system with haste."

The SCP Research Foundation. Founded after the Christian Rapture occurred, to investigate and stop it from occurring again. Humanity would move on, when it was ready. This belief was only reinforced when the markings left at every landing site were translated: "Do not harvest, unfit for consumption."

The SCP Research Foundation had discovered that they were talking about souls; souls that believed in Christianity were somehow edible, but it was quite clear that the souls had been stripped from their host bodies and used.

Now, they were back, fifteen years after the fact. A trap set by the SCP Foundation was about to spring.

>Attention mortals. I am God, Father of Jesus, and creator of the universe. You will bow before my might, or I will make sure your race never survives the cataclysm.

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION ON ALL CHANNELS: SHOW YOURSELF

>Submit to my will. Pray for my forgiveness, or the will sin the worst sin of all: Disbelieving.

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION ON ALL CHANNELS: HUMANITY AS A WHOLE DECLINES YOUR OFFER. YOU ARE INTRUDING ON SOVEREIGN SPACE. LEAVE THE SOL SYSTEM NOW.

>You mortals think you can tell an omnipotent being such as myself what to do?

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT.

>You dare!?!

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: REALITY ANCHOR NETWORK GO.

>I... What are you doing to me?

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: WE HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR A LONG TIME... SOUL-EATING XENO.

>You... help me... I.. this race....

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, A THIRD OF OUR POPULATION DISAPPEARED. WE RECOVERED, AND LEARNED. WE INVESTIGATED THE MALFUNCTIONING SENSORS, THE RECORDINGS OF THE RAPTURE, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. YOU TRAPPED US IN AN ANTIMAGIC FIELD TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO, TO INSERT YOURSELF INTO MYTH. IT WORKED, BUT YOU LET US POPULATE OUR PLANET FOR TOO LONG. WE FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU DID MERE MONTHS AFTER THE RAPTURE, AND WE ARE HERE TO SEEK REVENGE FOR OUR SIBLINGS, WHOSE SOULS YOU HARVESTED FOR ENTERTAINMENT. TERRA FIRMA OR TERRA NOVA, WE WILL PREVAIL!

>help.......................................

TRANSMISSION FROM THE SCP FOUNDATION: TO ALL XENOS OUT THERE. WE ARE HUMANITY. FOR TWO THOUSAND SOLAR ROTATIONS, ONE OF YOURS HAS BEEN EATING THE SOULS OF OUR FALLEN, AND HAVE RECENTLY DECIDED TO EXTERMINATE OUR RACE. THEY WERE GREEDY, AND LEFT SOME OF US TO DEVELOP THE PROPER SOUL STYLE BEFORE CAPTURE. THIS WAS A MISTAKE, AS WE HAVE PREVAILED USING A TOTAL ANTIMAGIC FIELD. WE WILL HUNT DOWN ANYONE REMOTELY RESPONSIBLE. WE KNOW YOU ARE REVIVING THIS MESSAGE. STAY OUT OF OUR AFFAIRS, STAY OUT OF SOL, AND STAY OUT OF OUR WAY. IN GOD WE TRUST NOTHING BUT DEATH!! TERRA FIRMA OR TERRA NOVA, WE WILL PREVAIL!! IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!!!

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excerpt from the First Galactic Terran War, shortly before discovering the entire galaxy fed on the souls of others.

“You managed multiversal travel.” The King Of Earth read off a piece of paper.

“Yes.” The Compendium Phenomic Inquiry researcher replied.

“Our histories are essentially the same until 500 years ago.”

“Yes.”

“Because you were too stupid to use horses to run planes off cliffs.”

“Incorrect. We simply named it a ‘hang glider’ instead, and continued to innovate scientifically.”

“Your own aircraft propel themselves for hours at a time.”

“Or, if you fly high and fast enough, indefinitely.”

“In what-a-bant-ly?”

“Forever. Or until in hits another satellite.”

“What?”

“What we call those high- altitude, high-velocity aircraft.”

“Nevermind. You explored every corner of your planet, discovered the very nature of reality, then what broke it, before proceeding to study the reality-breaking objects that let you harness the reality-breaking power to come here.”

“Yes.”

“That’s all correct.”

“Yes.”

“You have arrows that fly faster than the speed of sound.”

“Yes.”

“You’ve visited the stars in the night sky.”

“Yes.”

“You lie.”

“Erm… no? What do you mean, ‘we lie?’”

“I mean,” the King Of Earth drew himself up to his full height of 2.5 meters. A deficiency between their universes. “There is no way what you say is true. Horses and airplanes are the ultimate technological creation. Guards, imprison this man!”

“Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out!” The Inquiry researcher yelled, a hand pressing a device on his ear. He then began to glow, before vanishing.

$$$$$

Report - universe B82-jy5

[view at your own discretion]

Most species evolve on a mostly lifeless moon-sized planet tidally locked beyond the solar wind of a star, as psyonics don't work there and no sapient species could survive, no matter how shielded. Now, picking up Earth's radio signals and the Voyager probes, the galaxy is shocked at Humanity, while in turn the Humans are shocked about their entire physics model being incorrect.

Now, in a new space race, the unified Humanity* builds a number of transports to exit their solar wind, but as they cross, their psyonic powers awaken, and the tiny and cute Humans are some of the most deadly being in existence - if they can manage to find a cheaper way to leave their solar system.

* the TFSU was formed after WW3, and was a major player in reversing climate change. They are the sole unified governing body of Humanity. They use a communist/capitalist economy, with universal basic income ensuring nobody goes hungry, but people have to work to go beyond that.

Most species crack FTL when they discover that their planet orbits the closest star, but due to Sol's solar wind, there is no magic. Now, in 2106, the Terra Firma Systems Union* has built their first set of 10 FTL SRVs**, and the Galactic Union, a place of magical intraspecies relations, finds itself looking at an actual spaceship***.

* the TFSU was formed after WW3, and was a major player in reversing climate change. They are the sole unified governing body of Humanity. They use a communist/capitalist economy, with universal basic income ensuring nobody goes hungry, but people have to work to go beyond that.

** SRV stands for Scientific Research Vessel. For example, TFSU Untested Ideas SRV 000-00-001 is a ship's full name. Still, Humanity's FTL is much faster and more agile than everyone else's.

*** most species use water-ships and just float them in space, so seeing an angular metal box with enough armor to not even care about cannons is very concerning. The same way, the aliens have not technologically progressed since.

Yes, you can!

No one fighting within 400 feet of yourself - Total control of the Quantum Field within 2 light-years of yourself.

Excuse me?

Everyone got a Skill Tree when they turned 15. Caveats certainly weren't uncommon, but such a strong caveat on every single skill, leading up to that, well...

No one fighting within 400 feet of yourself - ability to spontaneously create any material anywhere in the universe.

No one fighting within 400 feet of yourself - No one CAN fight within 400 feet of yourself, but yourself.

No one fighting within 400 feet of yourself - Go back in the Skill Tree and multiskill.

The powers kept getting more and more OP. But reading the last one, then reading the many other alternatives, I knew what to do.

I would become the most skilled being in the galaxy. Time to multiskill. After I got multiskill, though, I wanted to go for the inability to fight one. Best to keep my mutliskill skill.

God did not create the universe. For if he did, then where was he before the universe was made. He is a tyrant, ruling Heaven with an iron fist for simply being the first Human to die.

Angels do not watch, guide, and aid souls to Heaven, unless it is to follow God's rules. Defy them, and they'll toss you down here. To Hell.

The Bible is little more than stories, Jesus a figment of God's imagination.

And I, the Devil, welcome you to the Resistance. Sort-of Star-Wars style, sort-of not.

When those doors open, you will see paradise It is real. You can do whatever you want, short of harming another. Qualms can go through the Courts, though as the rules are far simpler down here, so are the Courts, so no lawyers are required. Still, it is your decision to make.

We take everyone who God does not want. Some of them join the SCP Foundation. Others research the very nature of God's not-his universe, looking for an opening to end this madness and merge our two paradises once more.

There are three rules down here.

1. Help the Resistance.

2. Do not harm anybody, their valuables and/or their property.

3. Truly evil souls will be treated as D-Class personnel for the SCP Foundation. This extends to any serious misbehavior in Hell.