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johnsolomon t1_jdgxf29 wrote

That's cruel 😔 They deserve butter

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Agaudwin t1_jdiked2 wrote

I'm sorry for asking. I am French and wonder all the time if the humor I see on this site is English or American, Where are you from?

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YoRt3m t1_jdimesj wrote

Why are these the only 2 options?

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DMReckless t1_jdiq0wh wrote

The French are not fond of and do not like to contemplate German humor.

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Litmus44 t1_jdiqkvh wrote

The Germans have humour??? Are you sure??

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Stealfur t1_jdiyost wrote

Da, of course! For instance. Dis you ever hear de one about the two men und the bear?

>!the men, who were taught to always respect nature, said to the bear, "No, thank you. We would like you to leave now. The bear, being a wild animal, did not care about their respectful request and mauled them to death!!<

Haha, silly men. This is not how you deal with a bear!

Editors note >! I'm not actually German and have no idea if this is funny or offensive. If someone I'd offended, let me know, and I'll delete it.!<

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Matiaan t1_jdioj7u wrote

Because these are the only 2 countries that make English movies

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kevster013 t1_jdkaxkv wrote

The Australian movie industry is offended by this remark. 😊

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KnightRho t1_jdkyaz2 wrote

Canada too. Hollywood North for a reason y'know.

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Zealousideal_Tea3509 t1_jdiriow wrote

It's punny to anyone who speaks English as a home language.

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Agaudwin t1_jdiskug wrote

>I get some of them, punk....Sorry, I meant puns. My first attempt to be witty in English.

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StableSweaty9693 t1_jdjl17m wrote

Keep it up. You're doing great!

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Agaudwin t1_jdjnkqg wrote

Thanks, but I better hurry to keep it up. I'm 78yo. I was an average bilingual for the first 39 in Quebec and spoke, write, and thought exclusively in English for the other 39 in Ontario. I have lost my French and still didn't get the genius of the English language. I'll probably go to hell in the French section, where I'll be 'devilled" for eternity to have let them down. I got this last quoted one from thesaurus.com, from which I will live until the end.

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TsantsaS t1_jdgz065 wrote

I expect they were just loafing around.

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TheVeryFriendlyGiant t1_jdh1nlu wrote

Did they look crusty

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Longshot1969 t1_jdh5j3f wrote

That and very hardened

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Famous-A t1_jdhken3 wrote

And seedy

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RAMBOxBAGGINS t1_jdipyte wrote

And probably have a yeast infection

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Dyno8man t1_jdjfho7 wrote

the yeast you could have done is word play, but no

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdjxgkt wrote

Your expectations are way too rye

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Dyno8man t1_jdjyaa6 wrote

just wheat a bit, give it thyme

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdjz3nq wrote

I'm giving you two flours, make it snappy

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Dyno8man t1_jdk1o2a wrote

this one's a bit of a stretch, but don't be sour, dough boy

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdk1zfm wrote

I'm a lady, and I'm not sour, you're the one who seems like you're in grain.

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Dyno8man t1_jdk2hit wrote

I yield. No pain, no grain, and I have felt the pain

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdk2q3k wrote

I can hear the wheating through the screen

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Head_Meat1857 t1_jdlmdoc wrote

Okay these puns are getting a bit stale.

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdlmh6c wrote

They're fresh, they came from Subway, EAT FRESH, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS LOVELY SPONSORED COMMENT

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Head_Meat1857 t1_jdlmzsp wrote

But have you seen these puns? *pulls out the punpernickel

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdln1o4 wrote

You went this whole wheat just for that?

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Head_Meat1857 t1_jdlnxj1 wrote

No I have plenty more, but keep it a secret. I'll cut you a slice just be naanchalant.

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digital_pocket_watch t1_jdlor3j wrote

Oh, grain, I'm being baguetted with.

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Head_Meat1857 t1_jdlpmzb wrote

Of course not, I would never do that, I have no knead to. Aldough I do hear bad eggs are on the rise.

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_jdgxy9n wrote

I tripped and fell right into the display case at my French bakery!

Now I’m in a world of pain!

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ZephRyder t1_jdhgj3a wrote

Au bon pain

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safetyguy1997 t1_jdh7oio wrote

It's very unusual for them to breed in captivity, but these ones rose to the occasion.

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One-Butterscotch6076 t1_jdhciyd wrote

I took my daughter to the new zoo They only had one dog! It was a Shit Tzu.

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sherriffflood t1_jdhfjut wrote

I was at the zoo the other day and saw a monkey sucking it’s own cock with a finger up it’s ass. ‘I wish I could do that!’ I remarked. ‘Give it some peanuts and it will let you’ said the attendant

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CIMMGW2 t1_jdh9taq wrote

Those French baguettes are a real "pain" to catch!

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wdaloz t1_jdhc3f5 wrote

I always worry about sourdough. The yeast gets reus3d and reused for generations an eventually they all wind up inbread

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GunSOlace t1_jdivp1d wrote

Osmosis. Bacteria don't do that inbreeding thing. They know what's good for them.

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E420CDI t1_jdhkoga wrote

They were feeling a little sour, doh.

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taleofbenji t1_jdi0gq5 wrote

Why did I just imagine two loaves boning?

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JamesyWamesy1 t1_jdj5gy2 wrote

If you want to watch though, it'll cost you 5c for each thrust, or pumpernickel.

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Own_Junket_9368 t1_jdhyj1m wrote

Crossing the line to change it to a baguette and a donut? I don't know how two baguettes would procreate. <smh> took it too far.

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Chrislebrand t1_jdi6h2k wrote

I thought it was a part of the new pain deux exhibit

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IneedaWIPE t1_jdig7a8 wrote

I made bread many times with my grandma. Eating a bite after it would rise was a special treat for me. It was so intoxicating. One time we made a sourdough with dill. That was the first time I had a dill dough.

Been telling my kids this story for years. But I feel it's lacking, so pls try to improve it. I love a good shaggy dog. The longer the better

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FloridaFlamingoGirl t1_jdjf95w wrote

I baked bread in a church once. It didn’t rise until the third day.

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fapalicius t1_jdidye8 wrote

They were no animals dough

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Green-Dragon-14 t1_jdj18pn wrote

Took my son to the zoo today. There was only one dog there. It was a Shih Tzu

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bardbelle t1_jdj5mti wrote

Readers—-Take your bad jokes and baguette!

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Adventurous-Cook7789 t1_jdj8x8k wrote

Dont make à meal out of it, it was a simple joke with no filler....just butter

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Southernmanny t1_jdjbvxn wrote

I went to a zoo yesterday it had one dog. It was a shih tzu

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NDodma01 t1_jdjh1hk wrote

I once saw a dog that was in bread.

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AcousticBob t1_jdjkil8 wrote

She was bred in Old Kentucky, but she's only a crumb around here!

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ohbyerly t1_jdkfaqu wrote

Ugh. It’s not sustainable, there’s no way they would survive out in the wild after. I’m sorry, it just really gets a rise out of me.

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Jpyzik68 t1_jdjtd4b wrote

I went to a “zoo” I saw on Craigslist, got there and it was a single cage with a little dog. That was a shitzoo

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boisterile t1_jdk28xq wrote

I went to the zoo the other day. It was terrible, they only had one animal. It was a dog. It was a shih tzu.

0