Submitted by johnwick76 t3_zv070k in Jokes
.. She spread more than covid
Comments
Spiritual-Plankton52 t1_j1maw0t wrote
She does spread alot of joy and peanut butter.
RyuichiSakuma13 t1_j1mazln wrote
...that skinny people orbit around her.
...when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.
...her blood is syrup.
...she thinks you can eat styrofoam peanuts.
I'll stop here.
RadioactiveX02 t1_j1mben4 wrote
Her picture can break the nail on which it's hanged
MetheCurious t1_j1mcbue wrote
When she falls from the bed, she does it on both sides
justlikeyouonlyworse t1_j1mczn2 wrote
So ugly, when she goes in a bank they turn off the cameras
kimapesan t1_j1me58z wrote
Her blood is mayonnaise.
LOUDCO-HD t1_j1mfu2b wrote
…when she dances, the band skips.
(You have to be older than 40 to understand)
RyuichiSakuma13 t1_j1mg6ko wrote
soysuza t1_j1mhlwu wrote
Her blood type is cool ranch.
tallyhall10987- t1_j1mik8w wrote
Her blood type is an entire chocolate fountain
polkadotard t1_j1mkkfx wrote
She fell in love and broke it.
blaggard5175 t1_j1mkv0r wrote
She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Lambchops78 t1_j1mmz06 wrote
She uses a VCR for a beeper. ..
For those that are younger….
A VCR plays movies on a large cassette type tape called a VCR tape. A beeper was for people to message you their phone number to call them. In the later life of beepers, there was limited text function.
Seasonunending- t1_j1moeir wrote
Your mother’s so that that
-
when she steps on a scale it reads “one at a time please”
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she can easily use her underwear as a parachute
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you have to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot
Seasonunending- t1_j1mof7n wrote
master-virus t1_j1mqbod wrote
Yo mama so fat Moby Dick felt insecure
[deleted] t1_j1mrcp8 wrote
China is not big enough to build a copy of her.
chuckwagon1 t1_j1mt9dy wrote
When she jumps off the high dive she goes straight to hell.. .
gluctosesandwich t1_j1mui0y wrote
Surprisingly, however, she cannot spread her legs...
Wiggleynuts t1_j1mul0o wrote
I'm not saying yo momma a ho but when she had you she slid you in and out a few times.
Stehum_Brethilben t1_j1mxj4d wrote
Yo mama so stupid she still does "yo mama" jokes.
DubyaWolf t1_j1n02d4 wrote
Your momma is sooo fat. They call her Hitler at the strip club, cause she crushes the poles.
_dantastic t1_j1n0gus wrote
she thinks gravy is an after dinner cocktail.
Daarkin_ATX t1_j1n532a wrote
that the earth was flat until they buried her
ImportedBavarian t1_j1ndmjm wrote
Yo mama is so ugly, taxes evade HER.
Dry_Proposal_932 t1_j1nixgo wrote
She has thyroid problems
Azperush t1_j1nmxh7 wrote
She puts the gas nozzle in her mouth before she’s slides it into her car
Howsurchinstrap t1_j1ntjdn wrote
Your moms so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book
25JH t1_j1o3ja4 wrote
Yo mama so fat she doesn’t need the internet to be world wide.
wensleydalemouse t1_j1o7l81 wrote
Yo mama so fat she makes Godzilla look like a chinchilla
BossImpossible8858 t1_j1o89kp wrote
Her memory foam mattress wishes it could forget...
Soulknighter t1_j1oi0rz wrote
She can't fit in an ultra wide camera shot.
rascible t1_j1oi9g7 wrote
When she sits around the house, she sits around the house
Thefreshi1 t1_j1oinpk wrote
She tried to hula hoop and accidentally invented the pogo ball.
xXroadkill608Xx t1_j1oo68v wrote
... she drives a spandex car.
mfchris100 t1_j1ot4r2 wrote
A cop saw her standing on the corner and yelled “Hey ladies, Break It Up!”
Artistic-Breadfruit9 t1_j1ow4ie wrote
Your mama is so fat, your dad no longer finds her attractive and this has caused a serious rift in their relationship.
itsallgoodye t1_j1oxn0x wrote
…One time she jumped up in the air and got stuck…..when she goes camping the bears put their food up in the trees.
Roachy-1 t1_j1oywv3 wrote
When God said "let there be light," He had to ask her to move
gothism t1_j1p2row wrote
She really can give 110%.
Romthirty t1_j1p623r wrote
When she dances, she not only cuts the rug, but shreds it to pieces.
are_manen_what t1_j1pa4pg wrote
COMEDY
uthini_mfowethu t1_j1pc4i9 wrote
That I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
When I found it I sat on her knee, slapped her thigh and rode the wave in...
I needed scuba gear to muff her and when we were done I had to roll a few times before I was finally off her.
When it was time for her to go home I moved house because that was cheaper than removing the roof.
Side note. She refers to her pussy as an all you can eat buffet.
moonpie269 t1_j1pgypi wrote
Yo mama's so fat, that when she jump for joy she got stuck
SteelBelle t1_j1pl7s4 wrote
Yo momma so old when God said let there be light yo momma said "Hold up let me find the switch".
goodboytigger t1_j1pxgk7 wrote
So popular.
philit17 t1_j1pyvap wrote
Your mama doesn’t have a back, that’s why she is always frontin’
Jill_Schitt t1_j1q6wdd wrote
I’m fairly certain I understand why it’s funny, but I’m only 25 and want to confirm since apparently only people over 40 can understand it…
Are you referring to the malfunction of audio playback that occurred with CDs, Cassettes, and Vinyls? Because when they would get damaged/scratched songs would “skip”? And by saying she’s so fat that when she dances, she interrupts the band’s ability to perform properly and they experience a live version of this phenomenon?
bibirico t1_j1q7net wrote
...when you slap her ass, crabs can surf.
wigzell78 t1_j1q8132 wrote
Yo Mama so fat...
Her punch-line is still wobbling.
LOUDCO-HD t1_j1q88mk wrote
Since you asked…….I am referring to the ’phenomenon’ of the propensity of older record players to skip, that is the tone arm would bounce across the grooves in the record if there there was dancing nearby. The tone arm that held the stylus was so delicately balanced, it was susceptible to localized shocks.
The ironical nature of my comment is that Yo Momma is so fat, when she dances she elicits this behaviour in a live band. Thank you for your comment as it validated and proved my comment correct. My age based qualifier was directed at a target audience that grew up with vinyl as their main source of music.
Jill_Schitt t1_j1q8pof wrote
I was still exceptionally close to understanding and someone my age or slightly older with similar experience and more brain than myself might very well understand. I wouldn’t underestimate anyone.
Still, thank you for explaining and teaching me something new. I do enjoy learning new things a lot, even if it does enable me to become overconfident.
LOUDCO-HD t1_j1qabm5 wrote
You weren’t even close to understanding.
You thought it was due to wear and applied to three, unrelated forms of media.
The actual premise was based on physical interaction with only one form of media.
My age qualifier was based on the fact that most persons under 40 would have not experienced a skipping record as CD’s became popular in the early 80’s. Whole generations have grown up not even knowing vinyl existed as a format.
I was not underestimating anyone, nor was my original intention to offend anyone under 40, which I have apparently done to you. I would apologize if I understood your offence, but I don’t, so I won’t.
I have enjoyed this limited exchange, but I am tired if it now, so I will dismiss you with a ’Merry Christmas’.
hollandrisley t1_j1qc2pi wrote
I had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot
Jill_Schitt t1_j1qc7qp wrote
I wasn’t offended in any way shape or form.
Christmas was yesterday. It might be observed today, but it’s not Christmas anymore.
I spent my Christmas at a fancy Chinese restaurant, as is my family’s tradition… since we don’t celebrate it and all of the other restaurants close their doors.
Adieu.
Dashover t1_j1qd9lg wrote
It takes her two trips to sit down
ckashep t1_j1qpb3z wrote
Yo mama so fat Santa can't get round her in one night!
SnooPaintings5715 t1_j1t3h7l wrote
When people say it's chilly out side she grabs a bowl instead of a jacket
mrchiller505 t1_j2162t5 wrote
Yo mama so fat she gets greezy not wet
Heavy-Average826 t1_j27a1ya wrote
Yo mama so fat when she ordered a water bed they dropped her on Neptune with a giant blanket
Odin4456 t1_j1matv4 wrote
Um, should probably be “yo momma so loose”