Submitted by TaylorFujii t3_zumjhl in Jokes
I said I’ve got a hard on but I didn’t know you could smell it
Submitted by TaylorFujii t3_zumjhl in Jokes
I said I’ve got a hard on but I didn’t know you could smell it
If you can't gag her with the size, gag her with the smell!
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
But if it is, get a prosthedick
Oh please no. 🤢😅
You villain! That’s a crime against humanity!
That’s the funniest shit I have heard in a minute 😂
No I said I had athlete foot.
I've got a 12 inch knob . But I don't use it as a rule.
Fellow picks up a girl in a bar, takes her home, they kiss, they make out, and one thing leads to another and there they are, in bed, naked.
After some exciting foreplay, the fellow is about to consummate the deed, when the girl moans: "your toe, I want your toe!"
"EH?" the fellow responds.
"Your TOE", screams the girl, "TAKE ME WITH YOUR BIG TOE!"
Ever the gentlemen, the fellow complies.
A couple of days later, the fellow calls the girl on the phone.
"Err...I don't quite know how to tell you this, but I've been diagnosed with syphilis of the big toe."
The girl screams into the phone:
"You think THAT's something? I have ATHLETE'S CUNT!"
I've got 12 inches...
... Of snow in my yard.
I see. How did you measure?
He dug a person-sized hole in the snow until he hit the ground, laid down on the ground, unzipped his fly, and saw that the snow was 3x the length of his erect cock.
Measured in cm,called it inches.
BRO
Always the comments
Omg. Thank you for the HUGE Christmas laugh.😅🤣😂
I damn near rolled off the couch wheezing. Thank you for the laugh, kind internet stranger.
Keep your dick in a vice
It may not be that big around but it sure is short
Keep your Richard in a bad habit.
Best joke ever lol
This is how you thank upvotes properly!
I heard most of the world goes by the scent-o-meter…
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There's 12 inches of global warming right outside my door that I'm going to have to shovel away.
Dammit, if I had the money to award this comment
Someone have an EU version?
I can run faster than light. This is due to the fact that light can’t run.
I can jump higher than a house….
Because houses can’t jump.
I can lift more than 100 boulders...
...because boulders don't lift things
If you thrust 6 times with 2 inches, you gave her a foot.
The only way I could give her 8 inches and make it hurt is if I pump 4 times then hit her with a brick
Jesus
Or at least the big toe.
She said gimme 12 inches and hurt me, so I fucked her 3 times and hit her with a brick
Well that escalated quickly..
2 inches is hell at 100 miles per hour
Right??!!??
Unfortunately I can only pump twice before coming
One more than me!!
Those yearly baths paid off for you
It's small, but it smells big
I’m gonna use this lol
Not if you say that first.
Awww man 😞
Wtf ha ha
That one made me laugh so hard, I choked.
It ain’t long, but it sure is skinny!
Oh its probably this handkerchief i spilled chloroform on smell it and see 😈
It’s less threatening if you call it nap time spray
I totally forgot about this vid!! So many what the fuck moments!! Hahahahaha Dude in the recliner just halls off and punches his ol lady right in the gut!! Hahahahahahahaha
Bill Cosby, is that you?
Either we fuckin, or IM fuckin
I started wearing this new cologne, ever since women just can not say no to me. It’s called “chloroform” 😂
I was on a date and she said “your scent is amazing what is it?” I said “I’m wearing come to me” She said it don’t smell like come to her!
She's a pro. Like certain things may cost extra kind of pro.
In aid of - give an old joke a home week
It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
How you know what Bigfoot's dick smells like?
How do you not?
smiles and pats trusty pocket full of spaghetti
Very brittle and crackly today, eh?
Eeeew.
Smells like deez nuts.
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come to me ....does it smell like cum to you
Hahahah these comments are funny AF. Thanks for the Laughs I needed them today. That is all, Merry Christmas you Filthy animals.
Prettig kerstfeest 🤩
Eau de tactical wank.
My dick‘s only 3“ but it smells like 7“. 😎
If I’m gonna be impotent I’m gonna dress impotent.
This joke blows…
A young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming? That was me.
Bro that's a good one lol
Original sounds better from the movie 3 Strikes “I got on your favorite cologne!” “What’s that?” “Hard on! Didn’t know you could smell it did you? “ As he stands there in his boxers lmao
I was on a date and she said "You look nice, what are you wearing?"
I replied, "Oh, just my invisible cologne. It's called 'Eau de Confidence.'"
You've got 12 inches? I only promise 12 inches on an installment plan.
I tried for 5 minutes to understand it and sadly I can’t. Guess I’ll ask?
He’s got an erect penis dude
Duh
More like BOING
An ankle monitor
My dick will make you gag, it's not the size but the smell
It’s only 6” but it smells like a foot
Worked with two guys and this was the joke they played on new guys. First guy acts like a hard ass towards second guy to make new guy think they’re not friends. 1st guy tells new guy that 2nd guy smells good. Keeps up the joke all day. Finally tells new guy “hey go ask 2nd guy what he’s got in that smells so good.”
Proceed with punchline of the joke.
Also works anytime a guy notices your cologne and you’re around the boys.
The nose knows.
My dick isn’t that big, but I love every foot of it.
At least her smelling didn’t come up short.😳
Old spice, because fuck yeah
That r/fappened
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I once had a colleague say I smelled nice and asked if I was wearing an eau de cologne.
I replied no, it odour body.
This is true.
I have a 12 inch penis…around. Think about it!
It a new perfume called 'Come to me!'..
It doesn't smell like come to me!
Fuck, dude. I damn near dropped my cigarette.
Guess that makes for an anti smoking campaign 🤣
Roy Chubby Brown
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Heard a gal ask a guy this and his reply when I was walking out of a Busch race at Bristol, years ago. I laughed my ass off.
Fucking dank ass weed momma
The ashes of my dead relatives. -Kratos
Classy!
“It’s called ‘Come to Me’ —- does it smell like cum to you”?
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I heard that one while stationed at Dyess afb in the early 70s.
I've only got two inches, but some girls like it that wide.
Um, I cooked bacon this morning and haven't showered...
Made me laugh really hard (pun)!! Thanks
White Castle farts.
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It’s like in Archer ‘Did Pam just have an erection in here?’
amouage memoir, true story
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My father was fond of saying this when women commented on his cologne!
I heard this joke in high school. In 1960.
Usually smell like really expensive wood
🤣Awesome. So good!!
😂😂😂
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That joke is probably close to 100 years old.
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marco-polo-123 t1_j1k810x wrote
It may not be 12 inches, but it sure smells like a foot
Thanks for the upvotes everyone, as well as the award. Let's all try and enjoy the 12 inches, I mean days of Christmas 😅