Yo mama so fat

Submitted by LeoReddit2019 t3_11dn0ll in Jokes

She has a watch for every time zone she's in, When she walks past the tv, you miss 8 seasons, She beat galactus in a planet-eating contest, Thanos couldn't snap her out of existence, Flash died before he could do a lap around her And she ate a black hole because she was hungry

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Comments

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Riskycrossbow69 t1_ja9nh6k wrote

The earth was flat before she was buried.

345

peb396 t1_jaap3z9 wrote

The real joke is in the comments again.

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Bloopyhead t1_jadc82o wrote

Good one!

Alternative: The earth is flat because of her

4

dgm42 t1_ja9u3hf wrote

When she got flesh eating disease the doctor said she had only 10 years to live.

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Diehavok t1_ja9x16t wrote

Yo mama so fat, and old, that when God said “Let there be light,” he was just asking her to move out of the way.

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palebluedotcitizen t1_ja9sfo7 wrote

Yo mama so fat when I swerved to avoid her I ran out of gas!

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finger_licking_robot t1_ja9uqxa wrote

yo´mama is so fat, your father has to roll over twice to get off her.

yo´mama so fat, when she leaves the house with high heels she comes back with flip flops

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Wombat_Racer t1_jaci8we wrote

Yo mamma's so fat I had to roll her in flour to find the wet bit

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troubleis1 t1_ja9r05y wrote

So fat that when she skips a meal, the food market drops

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jrsobx t1_ja9nu6o wrote

Yo mama so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

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Creative-Series-873 t1_ja9yvrk wrote

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody

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leonscum t1_jaa77vm wrote

she so fat when she goes to the movies, she's in it.

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booherm t1_ja9mp3z wrote

Sounds awful. I hope she gets the help she needs.

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joopface t1_ja9pm6x wrote

I have a watch for every time zone I’m in.

One. I have one watch.

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android47 t1_ja9yj29 wrote

Yo momma so fat, when she trips she doesn't fall down, the earth falls up.

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leonscum t1_jaa73l1 wrote

I saw this same reply in a Chuck Norris thread a couple of days ago. :)

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always-paranoid t1_jaacn5t wrote

Don’t you dare let Chuck here you compare Him to a fat woman…

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GerManiac77 t1_jabquzt wrote

„Chuck Norris… Never heard of her“ Bud Spencer

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Incognito_Echo t1_jabzh68 wrote

I don’t get all the hype about Chuck Norris. If he was really tough, he’d come to my place and slam my head on the keyboatjahrjkdsjhrhjfkskajhshdhrjijdhsjhhsagg

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Wombat_Racer t1_jacikqm wrote

Yo mamma's so fat Chuck always climbs on top.

Coz he never fucks up, only fucks down!

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dbradx t1_ja9l9q7 wrote

When she wears a Malcolm X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.

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Joshau-k t1_jaajha2 wrote

Yo mama so fat.

But she's trying to change that. She inspires me

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Rupertredloh t1_jabbopn wrote

When yo mama walks in front of the tv you don't miss anything because of gravitational lensing.

and I'm kinda mad because I have to tell this joke again...

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marycartlizer t1_jabgi2s wrote

She never been swimming because it's never been half an hour since she last ate.

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Wicked_Burrito t1_jaa91f7 wrote

Your Momma so fat, Her blood type is Rago. Your Momma so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food. Your Momma so fat, her belt size is equator.

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[deleted] t1_ja9spvd wrote

[deleted]

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Apollyon82 t1_jach0rj wrote

Yo mama so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

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Al_DeGaulle t1_jabijjw wrote

Yo mama so fat I had to take the subway and two buses to get on her good side.

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Bobbyoot47 t1_jabkafp wrote

They asked her what she wanted on her hamburger. She said a hotdog.

She puts mayonnaise on her aspirin.

She wears a wristwatch on each arm, she covers two time zones.

She got on a weigh scale and the read out said “one at a time, please.”

She goes jogging she leaves a trail of potholes.

She wears high heels she strikes oil.

Her bathtub have stretch marks.

When she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house.

During sex guys ask directions.

You want to have sex with her you got a dip her in flour and look for the wet spot.

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RaleighBahn t1_jab455a wrote

When she gets out of the chair she gotta take three steps before her ass leaves the cushion

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jcmatthews66 t1_ja9m63f wrote

When she stand up the tides change

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theblindretard t1_ja9mhme wrote

...when the Inquisition declared her a heretic they had to execute her with Exterminatus

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Johnny_Vest_Up t1_jab3yc4 wrote

She plays musical chairs with couches…

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Brownpride8890 t1_jabt34x wrote

She sat on her iphone and it turned into a iPad

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hymie0 t1_jacbfvw wrote

They did a story about her on Channel 5, and they had to borrow Channel 6.

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LeapIntoInaction t1_jaam2ta wrote

Yo mama's so fat, I can't believe she's not butter.

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666pool t1_jabrkuf wrote

When she goes to a buffet they have to hire seasonal help.

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Renotoad_YT t1_ja9pxiy wrote

Bro insulting mother earth

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[deleted] t1_jaai4ro wrote

Yo momma so fat that TON 618 got absorbed by her.

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blackmachine7 t1_jaam8iz wrote

Yo momma so fat, when I pictured her on my mind, I broke my neck

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PSA_Kennyfornia t1_jabvb7b wrote

just another approach but… yo momma so fat when she’s on anyone’s mind their neck break

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Skya_the_weirdo t1_jab2f38 wrote

My favorite reply to these: “Actually, she’s dead” (yes, this is true. And yes I do it on purpose to make people react. And I also love these jokes bc I think they’re actually funny)

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Wombat_Racer t1_jaciw6b wrote

Sorry for your loss... plz don't hate me

But...

Yo mamma's so fat the earth was flat till they buried her

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Any_Werewolf_3691 t1_jaboxco wrote

your family picture is an aerial photograph.

Used to love yo mamma joke competitions when I was a kid and didn't know any better.

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Jassida t1_jabtz6k wrote

I swerved to avoid her in my car and ran out of petrol

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UpperPhotograph9903 t1_jac3i71 wrote

Your mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

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Lazaruzo t1_ja9ofm0 wrote

It’s 2023, I believe you mean my “higher weight large bodied mama” 🧐

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seriousbangs t1_ja9rif4 wrote

Wasn't there a rap song about that in the 90s?

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Risperdali t1_jaaohdi wrote

It's true. I cannot lie. And all you other brothers can't deny.

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Kochabb t1_jabtp3e wrote

Yo mama so enormous...brought to you by Puffin Books.

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leonscum t1_jaa7k7s wrote

she was so hungry When she ate the black hole she ate the donut too.

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JeanetteStrong t1_jaaq4jd wrote

Yo mama so fat she put mayonnaise on her lipitor.

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GuaranteeHeavy3161 t1_jaax83r wrote

Your mother's health condition is very serious

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ILive2Drum t1_jabg1wh wrote

I know exactly what that’s from! Good taste you have.

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GuaranteeHeavy3161 t1_jabh84c wrote

Thought no one will get it lol

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ILive2Drum t1_jabhwuc wrote

Watched every episode 3 different times so you can say I’m pretty familiar with the show. Favorite skit is Jimenez.

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GuaranteeHeavy3161 t1_jabiwgj wrote

I can't even say a favourite,man.I may have watched everything more than 3 times, I should take myself out often.Some I frequent are Slap-ass,Loco one and the Tim Cook one.Shame they stopped making them.

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ILive2Drum t1_jabjupe wrote

All classics, I really love the loco ones. Remember front hand back hand? And the bone thugs and harmony parody was fucking gold, they did them so well lmao and BLACK ICE HAD ME ROLLING and racist zombies and the cooking shows one dude now I don’t know what IS my actual favorite now!

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GuaranteeHeavy3161 t1_jaccivx wrote

AMENNN TO THATT!! We can talk all day about their skits and only cover about 10 % of their content .They did so much at such a little duration without compromising qualit, man. They will never be another duo like them.Glad Peele has made it as a promising director.Wonder what Key is doing right now.

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PSA_Kennyfornia t1_jabw32q wrote

yo momma so fat…

…she needs a boomerang to put on a belt.

…she absorbs chuck norris kicks.

…she thought it was safe to fart in the pool and caused a hurricane.

…court ordered her to wear a backup cam to stop sittin on children and small animals.

…she makes the kool-aid man say, “oh no!”

…when she tans with oil kids get a free slip n’ slide.

…her thigh gap has been compared to the san andreas fault.

…she finds more change between her rolls than her couch.

…she uses a jack-hammer as a vibrator.

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tree-huggers t1_jabwu2v wrote

Yo mamma so fat it took 3 weeks to upload her selfie to the cloud.

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wednesday_For_life t1_jac55yc wrote

Yo mama so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the earth was cracking up.

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immortalfred t1_jac9agv wrote

Yo mama so fat, it took falcon 9 100years to travel from her left ear to her right ear when she say her left ear cant hear clearly

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Cold_Table8497 t1_jacr6pe wrote

Yo mamma so fat, when I had a threesome with her, I never met the other guy.

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RedAss2005 t1_jaarob0 wrote

Your mom is so fat she is at an increased risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

Your mom is so fat when she enters a pool she displaces more water than most people.

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Incognito_Echo t1_jabzs4w wrote

Yo mama so fat she could birth 16 children at the exact same time before the doctors would even begin considering a cesarean.

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ExoticChef2 t1_jac2oxt wrote

Thanos had to snap twice

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SnooMemesjellies7469 t1_jac34x0 wrote

Yo momma so fat and smelly, she wears new jersey around her neck as an air freshener.

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Jose_Zueco t1_jac3sia wrote

She must be German...

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SaintyetSinner t1_jac7pda wrote

Yo mama so fat when she walks backwards she beeps like the garbage truck

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DrinkSavings4791 t1_jac9kcw wrote

Yo momma so fat she can’t go swimming, either she’s in the pool or the water is

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Improv13 t1_jacgjqa wrote

Yo mama so old she knew Lucy as a baby.

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BlaineBMA t1_jaci9a5 wrote

If she eats a black hole, isn't she God?

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AricBergren t1_jacwuoo wrote

Yo mama’s so fat when she goes to the circus, the elephants throw HER peanuts

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ItDoBeLikeDatDoe87 t1_jadi3kk wrote

Let’s get off of moms, cus I just got off yours! I mean I had to roll over twice to do it, but still!

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StarBliss t1_jado7f8 wrote

Yo mama so fat even Chuck Norris couldn't lift her.

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Obvious-Education273 t1_jaf29ox wrote

STOP! STOP!! I can't take anymore of these comments. They're killing me

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Fingersmeller t1_jactt39 wrote

Yea, I am sorry but I just can't anymore.

These jokes are so bad, they have to be written by children or something.

You all have fun with it, I am out.

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bobofiddlesticks t1_jadpk3f wrote

After I fucked her, I rolled over twice and I was STILL ON THE BITCH

1