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Go to the gym and lift weights. I cannot reccomend this enough.

It's within your control. Results happen reasonably quickly. The opposite sex will be more attracted to you. It gives you purpose. You will feel a sense of accomplishment. It will create structure. You will start thinking about what you eat. It's reasonably cheap. It will prompt you to drink less.

I could go on and on.

I used to... until I moved, where I really struggle to now because the closest gyms are like 20m drive away and my parents already have a lot to do as they own a business, "Knot just Plane Wood" for some free promo but like I had to quit rugby 2x a week because of it already. I was going to go on Saturday but I'm usually working 1000 until ~2300 most Saturdays and Sundays my parents want to keep for a "family day"... despite not doing anything that day...

all you have to do is study? you have no job or hobbies or gyms near your house?

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Pretty much. I have a job which, depending on the season, I work around 13h - 30h ish each week. I live in the middle of nowhere, no paths or houses nearby so can't get to the closest gym (20m drive away) because my parents are busy. I used to do rugby but had to quit it because my parents were so busy.

go outside and run! fresh air in the morning helps me wake up. buy a bike and ride around. move your body and your brain will follow, you'll have more motivation and start studying but you also have to take that first step. you have to want it. and talk to someone about this, your parents, or friends, maybe even a therapist idk

My sympathies. I felt similar during my college days as a non-traditional student. Being in my later 20s it was harder to relate to the younger post-highschool crowd. So I was pretty lonely and no real support, aside from the opportunity to get a degree.

I wish I could tell you there's some exact formula to suddenly feel highly energized. I guess in my case an ADD diagnosis gave me access to Adderall, which helped slightly, but it came at a cost of many side effects and I think some permanent brain depletion.

Overall, I just basically forced myself to bleed and chew glass throughout the process. I went on autopilot, completing all of my assignments and putting effort into at least not falling my exams. The whole time experiencing varying levels of despair, but taking one day at a time, I eventually finished.

So aside from maybe some kind of therapy (if you have access to it), and maintaining your physical health with adequate exercise, sleep, and nutritional needs, that's probably all you can do. Just force yourself basically. Because failure will just make it hurt even more.

Funny thing is, it's like the whole process restarts, but on another level, once you're trying to maintain a career or hold down a full-time job. Ah, lol. There's no end to the gerbil wheel unless ya win the lottery or something. Have to find a way to see the humor in it all, I guess. Until one day the hungry abyss decides you've had enough.

Idk, sometimes I think consciousness might be overrated. 😂🤷

Ask for some weights then.
You don’t need a gym to exercise. Go run. Do push-ups, sit-ups, burpees, mountain-climbers, bicycle kicks, squat/curl a bag full of books...plenty of workouts that can be done at home.

This definitely sounds like the thing that’s missing in your daily routine.

This sounds like some longterm boredom. Take up a new hobby. Get some exercise in. Go for a run. Get some sun (as vitamin D deficiency causes depression). Find something you enjoy doing.

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Surprised nobody has mentioned depression as a possible cause. Do you have health insurance that would cover a therapist?

If not, I agree with the suggestion of exercise. It doesn't have to be much. Walk around the house a few times in the morning and evening. Walk around the building after you clock out at work. Take the steps down from all of your classes.

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And there are YouTube videos to help you in your workout. Use things just sitting around your house as weights.

Oh that's definitely depression.

Or, imo, what OP describes is a totally normal response to this current unsustainable consumer-centric phase of human civilization.

I think the term depression merely attempts to pathologize a properly calibrated state of awareness, especially of that within middle or lower class society.

Deep down, you KNOW sooo much of what we do is a total fkn waste of time and life. But we do it anyways. Because the machine has too much momentum. Some people successfully deceive themselves into believing there's a point.

Others struggle to get out of bed.

Ah. 👁️👄👁️

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bored of repetition

find something new for a day

You, on Saturday: hey, guys, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow? Nothing? Ok, well then I’ve got some stuff I want to do myself.

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aw man, Im sorry you had to quit rugby. I feel like a good hour of tackling would really help this situation.

If you can see someone, see someone. The thing is that depression is kind of like having a cold or the flu. Sometimes it's not so bad, you can muddle through for a bit and do home remedies like working out or meditation until you feel better. But sometimes it IS bad, and you cant stop coughing for weeks or it turns in to pneumonia and you need to see a doctor, or you can die from it.

Depression is not a state - it's a spectrum and a lot of people forget that there's no shame in treating it early before it gets worse, or just seeing a doctor to make sure its a mild sort. But stuff like "oh just exercise" is maybe helpful or not, in the same way that "just get some rest and eat chicken noodle soup" is helpful, but doesnt necessarily fix a bad case of the flu. And it sounds like you could use a person to talk this out with in terms of WHY youre so miserable and if you're truly still interested in your future goals and plans and whether you're in a bit of a sea change where your body already knows its not doing the right thing and your mind hasn't caught up yet.

Im sending you energy and strength and a complete lack of shame - its really really normal to deal with what youre dealing with right now

It was amazing, loved most of the people there too and I was a pretty good player but I understand you obviously have to make sacrifices sometimes.

Amen!