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turnaround0101 t1_j1roodk wrote

Death was a diminutive woman in an oversized band tee, a battered leather jacket over the plush arm of her chair. She had a cup of coffee in her hands, and the steam wreathed her pale face like the fog that coiled over the river. Death had piercings and gauged ears, fake freckles scattered across high cheekbones. She was smiling sadly and I thought, for a moment, that she might reach out and take my hand. Around us was a coffee shop half overrun with vines and flowers, faceless people living out the small contusions of their lives. I felt at ease, but somehow I knew I shouldn’t.

“Oh no, honey,” Death said. “This is just the worst part of the job, but hey, at least you’re already sitting down. I’ll say it: this isn’t heaven, this is hell.”

I nodded. A specter floated by and handed me a London Fog. The tea was excellent, just sweet enough. I nodded again, her words sinking in.

“I guess I wasn’t as good as I thought.”

“Most people aren’t,” she said. “But don’t worry, this isn’t forever. Just for a little while, until you figure out what you did and feel properly contrite. Though I must say, even down here this is a little…unusual.”

She sipped her coffee, I sipped my tea. A couple blustered in out of the cold and I saw the river framed behind them, that lazy flow. The couple were both wearing Christmas sweaters and big colorful socks, matching pairs, and they shivered against each other for a moment as they took in their surroundings. Their faces were completely blank, two beige discs moving this way and that, before settling on each other.

“Unusual how?” I asked.

Death considered me. “Well, you know that cliché about beauty being in the eye of the beholder? Pain is that way too. Most things are, but pain is singular. Hit me and I’ll cry, hit a boxer and they’ll blink. Get used to a specific brand of pain and it becomes an echo. And yet, everyone has, at their core, something that hurts them the most.”

She gestured to the door. “If you could go out there and walk down the river for a while, you’d find a billion variations of this cell. Oh, you have all the classical imagery, torturers and whatnot, others that are simple isolation, simulated drownings, a breakup frozen in time forever--or until the lesson starts to sink in. But regardless of their differences there's a person in each one, trapped in their own individual hell.”

Death sipped her coffee again. Giggled into the steam. “Yours is the only Hell I’ve ever seen with flowers.”

“Ah,” I said. I looked down into my teacup and found it empty. Cold. I told her that I understood.

“Then explain it to me,” Death said. “What could be so bad about a coffee shop?”

Another specter drifted forward, drifted back. I cradled fresh warmth in my hands and cleared my throat. In life, I had never been very used to speaking.

“It exists,” I said. “It’s normal. All these people with all these lives, taking so much pleasure in something so simple as a cup of coffee.”

“And then there’s you with your tea,” she said.

“Exactly. It’s all the things I never understood. I used to come here sometimes, just to remind myself of that. Sit in this chair and watch the world go by.”

There was Death’s sad smile again. No teeth, just a gesture of the lips and a painful warmth behind her eyes.

“And me?” she asked. “I look different to every person. Who’s this girl to you?”

“No one,” I said.

“Bullshit,” Death said.

I drank my tea. Watched the doors open and close. Shapes moved along the river, came up out of the fog. From time to time a scream cut through the cafe’s quiet murmur, but that was all, and that was all there ever would be.

“Who am I?” Death asked again.

And I shrugged. “One of the baristas. Just someone who was kind.”

When I looked back Death was gone, and in her place sat a faceless girl. The same band tee and leather jacket, the same vanilla latte steaming in her lap. Like a charcoal sketch brushed out.

I took her hand, and we passed a thousand years.

​

r/TurningtoWords

3,283

FoxSquall t1_j1rtw8t wrote

As someone who has struggled to connect with others and always felt apart from the world, I think I might understand just a little.

554

IML_42 t1_j1sfhng wrote

Great job! This take on the prompt reminded me of this Oscar Wilde quote. “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” Very much a “hell of our own making” feel to this response.

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VonGoth t1_j1tysyv wrote

Excellent. But too close for comfort.

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frenchpressfan t1_j1rq0o1 wrote

Very well written, thank you!

And I'm bloody unsure what kind of coincidence this is: but I was humming "we walked a million years, I must have died alone" right when I clicked to read this one..

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anima173 t1_j1u31ag wrote

A long long time ago. Who knows? Not me. We never lost control.

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MtnNerd t1_j1s8o0d wrote

That one hurt. It's the hell I already live in.

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ShadowFang167 t1_j1te0d9 wrote

Whoever and wherever you are m8, I hope next year gets better for you 👋.

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Cuteboi84 t1_j1vj8w5 wrote

It's the hell I strive to never be in. I cried twice for this. And a 3rd time I'm tearing up because I'm thinking of writing this comment.

It's a massive fear of being rejected when trying to be social. I'm typically the odd one out. Even though I seem to integrate, I just stand out.

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UnpluggedMaestro t1_j1tc45p wrote

I don’t actually understand this… can someone explain pretty please?

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ricecake t1_j1tex6u wrote

They didn't fit in in social settings. Their personal hell was being in a nice place where people are together and happy, and they're just not part of it. There, but separate. Lonely.

I'm guessing that their mistake that they needed to fix was that they never took a chance on trying to connect with the person who was kind to them.

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Willsgb t1_j1uzce0 wrote

True loneliness. Surrounded by people, a world going on around you, yet the feeling of being profoundly disconnected and other.

This prompt, and that beautifully written chapter, have brought me half to tears. The way death just vanishes as soon as he admits the truth of his hell cut me as well.

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disfreakinguy t1_j1vklzg wrote

Being in a wheelchair has introduced me to this, I haven't ever felt like this before.

Everyone's lives keep going. I'm surrounded by others living, working... moving. I don't. Even when I'm in the company of friends, I feel alone. The only interactions I have with strangers now are pitying glances and offers of help. My wife switches from angry to sad to frustrated. My kids are sad and frustrated. My friends have either disappeared or focus entirely on trying to help me, not just be my friend.

I hate this so much. I'm in hell right now.

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newnotapi t1_j1w11lm wrote

I mean, I am sitting here in a wheelchair myself, and this is not how my life has gone. I have friends, some of whom are also disabled, and they do not do that to me. When I still worked in an office, my officemates would wheel me around really fast in the parking lot for fun, and we'd get in trouble for having races in the halls.

All this isn't to boast, it's to say that it's not the wheelchair that is doing this. This is a fixable problem. You may need new friends, you may need counseling with your wife, but there are people out there who will not treat you like that. Also, people may be responding more to how you feel about yourself than about the wheelchair.

I also had a period of time where I felt extremely depressed about my health and pain and the reasons for being in a wheelchair. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, it was so bad. Therapy helps, forcing yourself to think differently about it and take different actions helps. Medications also can help. You owe it to yourself to try a different way.

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disfreakinguy t1_j1w312h wrote

I'm fairly recently wheelchair bound. I'm also separating myself from a toxic group of friends quite successfully, I just thought a few of them would support me, I was wrong. I'm dealing with it, I'll get over it, it's just that the sting is very new still. I thought a few dudes still had my back. They did not. Oh well, the ones I've got left are doing their best. We'll get there, I'm not mad at them it's just tough when your buddies spend the whole time they're at

My wife and I talk a lot. It's getting better, she didn't even realize she was acting this way. We talk most nights about what we can do to fix it and it's getting better. She is just struggling, she's used to me being strong, healthy and active. Now I'm in pain all the time, cold all the time, and my body isn't working right. It's a big shift - we've been together 15 years so it's a change that will take getting used to. We'll get there, the kids... I can't blame them. We'll work on it.

My care team royally fucked up. This didn't have to happen, but it did. We are getting through it, but it's our first Xmas with me fucked up and it's HARD. Especially without my parents. Things are shit right now. They'll get better. I'm fueled by spite and I have plenty to be angry about, but I'm not giving up. Not for me. For my kids. I may not walk them down the the aisle, I may not stand up to dance, but I'm going to learn to dance in this fucking chair. I'm going to roll them down the aisle. I'm going to love them. Even if I hate what my personal situation is.

Thank you for being kind.

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TheCaliforniaOp t1_j1w6uub wrote

u/disfreakinguy :

This may sound odd. But is there any chance volunteering at a parrot sanctuary or rescue might help? Because they are often lost between the life they knew and the next life they decide to choose and trust.

They saved me. It’s not easy with parrots. It’s patient, polite taming between two cautious species.

The wheelchair is the elephant in the room right now, and I apologize because I don’t mean that in a hurtful way. I mean it as “it’s apparently what everyone is getting caught up by.”

It won’t disappear. But it will shrink to its actual size.

I’ve not been in a wheelchair, but I’ve worn a fair amount of orthopedic leg gear.

The wheelchair will startle some of the parrots, if the chair comes up too close and fast to them. So the very thing that is the most agonizing is the thing one has to negotiate with the parrots about.

Once they get a chance to examine the chair and the human sitting in it, while feeling safe during this examination, this is what they’ll see:

“Finally a person who sits down and lets me come to them instead of just rushing over and jamming their hand under my toes, so suddenly I lose my balance! I could approach this person. Or they could approach me and just sit and talk, then listen to me.”

If a parrot is higher than you, don’t ever reach up unless you know for certain that bird wants to walk down your arm.

It’s better to let it come down and be at your level.

Or have it walk over and climb up to you.

But often there are caged parrots who can’t be let out because they’re too angry/traumatized, or they’ve been abused, or they’re disabled by broken body parts, and so they tend bite people, hard. Or they get bitten because they rush to another parrot for contact, so they have to be protected from themselves. They’re just so damn lonely.

And there’s not enough time for them. Too many parrots for too few people in the rescue/sanctuary.

For someone to sit even three feet away and then talk to them would be like a dream they never would dare expect to come true.

At the very least, it’s something different to do in a day. Just remember to keep your movements and voice calm, secure, not sudden, and it also helps not to stare at them.

Three-quarter face. Slow blinks. Humming. Whistling. Singing bits of song. Just holding a conversation about whatever comes to mind: “So, what do you think about the latest released information on UFOs?”

I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I hope this doesn’t come across as a r/thanksimcured toss-off. It’s truly and sincerely meant, and I hope very much that if not this, you find something else that gives you some ease and happiness.

Good luck and best wishes, always ♥️🍀🎶🌠

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disfreakinguy t1_j1wa0va wrote

Unfortunately the parrot sanctuary near me closed this month. There's one the next state over, but that's too far. Thank you for being kind.

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Willsgb t1_j23g97f wrote

I'm really sorry to hear that mate. My only suggestion is perhaps this might be everyone adjusting to this new situation. And even if not, things might change in future. But I hope that things and relationships with friends and family improve again for you.

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MumblyBoiBand t1_j1v285z wrote

There’s no way that’s as bad as being skinned alive and covered with salt or something.

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FlipskiZ t1_j1v5cco wrote

The point of the hell was for the person to learn something in order to move on. If there was nothing to be learned from being skinned alive, then it wouldn't happen to you. As far as I understood it.

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justanotherguyhere16 t1_j1v5i8k wrote

To quote the movie ‘Love Actually’ “What could be worse than the agony of being in love?”

  • especially if that love is not returned.
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wiqr t1_j1tf2rg wrote

The way I understand it, the man in the story is someone who'd consider himself a misfit. Someone socially awkward and poorly adapted. He's stuck in a situation he finds uncomfortable. This is compounded by presence of the girl that Death appeared as - possibly someone close to the protagonist, but the way it is worded suggests that the feeling wasn't mutual. Or that the man never really mustered the courage to put his feelings into words, and just put himself down, and eventually convinced himself that there were no feelings whatsoever.

Imagine yourself being stuck in a vague memory of the most awkward situation you have ever been.

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nomadwannabe t1_j1td94z wrote

Me also. It’s beautifully written but I can’t quite grasp what’s happening.

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tartufu t1_j1tfh87 wrote

I’m thinking the person was wired so differently that he could never understand or feel joy. But he likes to sit at the coffeeshop sometimes to see how people around him could do normal things and feel joy.

In his personal hell, he has to sit at the coffeeshop and be constantly reminded he’s not normal.

And this is a super dark thought, but he might have done something to the barista who was kind to him. And now he has to live with it

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nomadwannabe t1_j1u6tbj wrote

Interesting add about the girl. Thank you for explaining!

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Korthalion t1_j1thgv6 wrote

It's a kind of pain those of us that struggle to fit in can inflict upon ourselves. To sit somewhere 'normal' as a self-perceived outsider, and watch everybody else go about a life you can never have. I'd almost call it wistful, yet melancholy.

Enjoying coffee with a friend, perhaps going on a lunch date with someone you're getting to know, these things are very rare or simply don't happen for some people, for a variety of reasons.

I think that's what makes this story so well-written: it's open-ended as to why the protagonist feels this way, and so a greater variety of readers can connect and self-insert. For me it's Aspergers.

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nomadwannabe t1_j1u6qmy wrote

Thank you for explaining that to me; that makes sense.

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Starrion t1_j1uzt68 wrote

I get it. And that’s amazing. It took five read through msg to understand, they cannot connect. The nice atmosphere, people relaxing, open clean space, they are alone and in a personal trap of isolation that they cannot understand or overcome. And it’s hell for them. And the way it’s written the reader experiences the apartness and confusion. Well done

5

WhiskeredWolf t1_j1uxt4g wrote

I didn’t see anyone mention it yet, but the facelessness of all the people might point to the protagonist having a hard time reading faces. That’s what it feels like sometimes. Like that couple that came in together - you can see that they’re probably affectionate with each other, but not much else.

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derps_with_ducks t1_j1ssild wrote

I know this hell, but it's not my worst hell.

Thanks for describing it with such grace.

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mmmmpisghetti t1_j1t0ni9 wrote

Oh fuck it's YOU. I should have known. I've not really read much in a while. It's so nice to wander by and find you here, doing what you do so well. Just as I'm thinking how good this is, in that familiar way you have, I get to the end and see your name.

I have some catching up to do, I think.

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GodofHIV t1_j1s5bgk wrote

Goddamn. This one hits different, well done.

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Pinkbeans1 t1_j1shc69 wrote

That was good! I always love seeing you pop up in a prompt!

23

Zurrdroid t1_j1tah05 wrote

I'm struggling to understand this one...

14

mwngai827 t1_j1tj923 wrote

I’m personally leaning towards u/ricecake’s interpretation. But there are more if you look through this thread.

11

548662 t1_j1t7lxh wrote

Reminds me of Death from Sandman ... This wouldn't be out of place as a chapter from that series. Anyway I relate to this guy. Nice.

12

Willsgb t1_j1uzu7i wrote

Yes. She would be this interested in prying the truth from the soul she just took, she would emanate the same sad warmth, and she would also be as matter of fact and unwilling to swallow any bullshit.

3

Korthalion t1_j1tgu9w wrote

Ouch, this one hit me right in my autism. One of the better stories I've read for a while.

10

CarnegieMellons t1_j1syih0 wrote

As ever, absolutely beautiful. I can always tell it's one of your stories due to the haunting images. Again, beautiful.

9

G3tar t1_j1tmtxc wrote

Man sometimes I read these comments and think "huh that's neat" but this one really connected in a way that is difficult to describe, maybe because I feel like this almost every day.

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saxguy9345 t1_j1uqe2n wrote

Absolutely fantastic. The visage of Death was chilling, especially the toothless smile, and keeping the nature of the narrator's hell unknown even to Death themselves was a nice touch. A real "prison of your own making", that Death wasn't omnipresent and didn't know the "barista", blind to the nature or circumstance of the narrator's companion with the very specific attire. Haunting.

The repliers having an issue deriving meaning from your prompt shouldn't feel bad, it's more "high" literature than a simple fiction, and is written specifically to be open to interpretation. When Death mentions "there are many other souls experiencing torture, drowning, bad break ups all up and down the river" most likely Styx (river in Greek mythological purgatory / hell), Death is saying this coffee shop situation is worse than all of those horrible things for this narrator character. Let your imagination go wild with that little tid bit.

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PM451 t1_j21fbzd wrote

>that Death wasn't omnipresent and didn't know the "barista",

Omniscient? Omnipresent is all-places, omniscient is all-knowing.

0

Seedy__L t1_j1tnmg4 wrote

Not sure why, but this made me quite emotional.

Fantastic work.

3

Darksymphony52 t1_j1utbnl wrote

So badly want to read more of this, this world you've crafted wether it be following death through their own moral struggles with their job or following this lonely man through his redemption and healing.

This story is gonna stick with me for the rest of my life I feel and it'll be a cursed joy to have read it knowing it was only a response to a prompt and not a full written out work.

So thank you for this curse, it is wonderful

3

F84-5 t1_j1tnkl5 wrote

Ah, nice to run across something of yours again. It's been a while. I'm happy to say your writing is still as evocative as ever.

2

fozziwoo t1_j1txw61 wrote

just fantastic, not a single bump, really well written; more, do more…

omg there’s so much 🫣

1

MolhCD t1_j1u939r wrote

I feel there are depths to it that are just waiting to be plumbed

1

dragonfly_--8o t1_j1vjail wrote

Very nice. I always thought that myself. That pain is different for everyone and we are, each of us, in our own little he’ll. Good job, nice writing style as well.

1

MechisX t1_j1wexu9 wrote

This may of been hell for me at one time but after over 50 years of living on this planet I almost understand humans and even like a few of them.

Still not what you would call a "social" being though.

1

aroaceautistic t1_j21q2jz wrote

I like this one a lot. Makes me think of all the times I’ve sat in classrooms and family reunions, just silently watching people have conversations with each other.

1