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gordo31 t1_jdfbatc wrote

And all because someone, somewhere did all those things.

149

IsThataSexToy t1_jdfoulx wrote

Then why is the “don’t mate with the toaster” missing, smartypants?

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androshalforc1 t1_jdfx1c7 wrote

to be fair we only see warnings 17, 18, 21, and 22.

or maybe they are labeled above so its 13, 14, 17, and 18

either way there are at least 18 warnings we don't see, 'don't mate with the toaster' could easily be one of them.

10

BigMemeKing t1_jdfv2iw wrote

Everyone knows that the only acceptable way to get a toaster wet is by dropping it into the bathtub while you're inside

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officerclydefrog t1_jdfvssi wrote

Well yea u would never get the angle right if dropped it from outside the tub

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KorgX3 t1_jdhfo52 wrote

Perhaps you might just try rubbing the clitoroast?

0

starmartyr t1_jdfo3ik wrote

I worked for a company once where the employee manual said that I was not allowed to set off fireworks in the office. I really wish I knew that story.

2

srentiln t1_jdhwbvc wrote

I wish you did, too. Sounds like a fun read.

1

starmartyr t1_jdi3kf0 wrote

I asked my HR rep. He either didn't know or wouldn't tell me.

1

Horror_Bodybuilder36 t1_jdgu22t wrote

You’re asking but my MIL, who has early onset dementia has done Fig. 22.

We cook all her meals and she would warm them in the oven however after she almost burned the house down we disconnected her oven and got her a microwave. She struggled at first until we found one with very simple buttons and we found out that she was struggling after we caught her heating her evening meal in a pan on the toaster.

1

Gr8fulFox t1_jdi37fi wrote

I can forgive the last one; I can totally see myself trying to cook food on top of a toaster if it came down to that.

1

Main-Resort-609 t1_jdfdb4l wrote

I’m surprised there isn’t one telling you not to put it in the bath tub

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StrangePiper1 t1_jdfjl8s wrote

That’s what I came to say. “Apparently safe to bathe with though”. Have an up vote.

1

SEPTSLord t1_jdfk9mh wrote

Are there 18 other pictures of how not to use a toaster?

8

themanofmichigan t1_jdfc0uz wrote

Is there one that says something about putting ones dick in the toaster in figures 1-16 ? Asking for a friend

7

Major-Dingus t1_jdfb8mg wrote

Now where am I going to store my extension cords?

4

[deleted] t1_jdfbn5v wrote

[deleted]

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Fantastic_Fix_4170 t1_jdfeqk8 wrote

The story you linked says the Winnebago story is fake if you read the entire story. Here's snopes take on it https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cruise-uncontrol/

2

dmcdan8 t1_jdflkfl wrote

Oh yeah never fact checked lol heard this and saw the article years ago my bad y'all. Didn't even read the story all the way thru. I'll just disappear into the sewer system again 🤣

1

MyAssIsNotYourToy t1_jdfc9zi wrote

Fig. 17 seems wrong, how will it heat up if its not plugged in?

3

haxxer_4chan t1_jdfegdh wrote

It'll still be hot if put it away like that shortly after using it, easier to just advise against it altogether

4

DelfreGo t1_jdgnb6z wrote

This is one of those wireless models which just sucks the free energy from the environment 😜

2

noforgayjesus t1_jdffkjm wrote

Cut Throat Kitchen would like a word

2

skunkwoks t1_jdfj02y wrote

Phew, it’s ok to use in a bath!

2

charliesk9unit t1_jdflt9q wrote

I was expecting one with a picture of a bathtub in it.

2

mmpdp t1_jdfrukm wrote

Why is there a rocket ship vibrator flying out of 14?

2

beatmaster808 t1_jdfvlon wrote

Dammit, I was going to make noodles on my toaster...

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1

Lunaey05 t1_jdfd50a wrote

You know, they put these on here because somebody at some point did these things.

1

delocx t1_jdhq3cg wrote

I have washed my toaster with water before. Granted, I had torn it apart to clean out all the crumbs and junk and was washing the non-electronic bits, and allowed it to dry for a day before reassembly.

1

3BagT t1_jdfd6mg wrote

Honestly, Figure 22 had never occurred to me but it seems like a pretty good idea. Might give that a try - thanks for the tip!

1

[deleted] t1_jdfdydc wrote

[deleted]

1

ddotevs t1_jdhdsi9 wrote

Early dementia and because her nursing home didn't let her have a stove but they did allow for toasters.

1

BemliDeathBro t1_jdfe1b0 wrote

How am I supposed to meke soup now…

1

J4MES101 t1_jdfekpu wrote

Anything about toasting in the bath?

1

SlavOnfredski t1_jdfeln6 wrote

Fig.22 is one that certain people know it works

1

cmnorthauthor t1_jdfgwhe wrote

I’m worried what the other figures show.

1

Physical-East-7881 t1_jdfj6v3 wrote

Maybe if they list everything you shouldn't do you'll be left with all you can do

1

zeldanar t1_jdfkxpm wrote

Please do NOT the toaster!

1

Shathus t1_jdflnhw wrote

This is like an intro to Resident Alien

1

VelhoTheVexed t1_jdflykk wrote

Ah, but it says nothing about baths...

1

Daymanmb t1_jdfnlg2 wrote

Idk figure 22 seems legit

1

nikogrande t1_jdfq3ig wrote

Where's the one that tells you not to put slime in it??

1

LiemAkatsuki t1_jdfslm7 wrote

Remind me of the Indian wife (in a Bollywood movie) who water washing his husband's laptop

1

anonyoudidnt t1_jdftg1c wrote

You'd be surprised the things I've seen my grad students do to cook food in their tiny joint kitchen. Fig 22 is the real risk here

1

tuseroni t1_jdftl2f wrote

Wait, DONT put the toaster in the toaster oven?

1

Complete_Barber_4467 t1_jdfyae2 wrote

I use the toaster to preheat my coffee mug, is that a problem? I'm not going to have a cold mug ruin my coffee

1

Fishfindr t1_jdfyufg wrote

So we have to assume of the tens of thousands of toasters sold at least 4 people used them wrong.

1

[deleted] t1_jdfzykn wrote

I kinda wanna try 22

1

bjones0921 t1_jdg0fal wrote

I’ve been cleaning my toaster all wrong.

1

Capital-Home412 t1_jdg3n0l wrote

Ok, so if I can't put water directly in my toaster or place a pot on top of it, how's am I supposed to make my pasta?

1

dclxvi616 t1_jdga2l4 wrote

You need to freeze the noodles in bread-shaped blocks of ice, then they’ll slide right in the slots.

1

noobpwner314 t1_jdg7lkv wrote

So I guess throwing it in water is ok since it’s not on here

1

Intertubes9000 t1_jdgb1qa wrote

Where is the section that shows not to skydive while toasting? This is unacceptable!

1

Sethmeisterg t1_jdgb4iq wrote

Surprised there's no diagram of someone fucking the toaster and a big X over it.

1

AssholeThrowaway_ t1_jdgeqvj wrote

Instructions? These are demands. The x marks the task already completed. Can we see the next few incomplete pages?

1

Dreadlordstu t1_jdgfeen wrote

So i guess that means other than those things, everything else is cool?

1

fakeuserbot9000 t1_jdgfkok wrote

Wait, you’re not supposed to hose out your toaster daily???

1

Technoblade46363 t1_jdgg9ue wrote

Don’t put your toaster in the oven: No chance really? There is no other way I could learn that information!

1

Dukeflookem t1_jdgggi0 wrote

"Car manuals in the 1960's told you how to adjust the valve clearances, now they tell you not to drink the battery fluid."

1

DFuel t1_jdgim66 wrote

If you can't do these things, then what CAN you do!??

What a useless device...

1

Leading_Macaron2929 t1_jdgj9gh wrote

The heating elements on my toaster broke, so I put burning wood in the slots. Thank goodness that's not prohibited.

1

Exce55um t1_jdgjvln wrote

I don’t get Fig.17 what’s wrong to storage the toaster with the cable on the top? Provided it
is cold.

1

rangorn t1_jdgjx42 wrote

How many of these are there?

1

KoningSpookie t1_jdgkzzq wrote

You would be surprised how dumb people can be... and how greedy for insurance money they can be. Especially the last part.

1

kalabaddon t1_jdgl6la wrote

whats wrong with fig 22?

1

Crazy_cant t1_jdgoa6f wrote

People put Tortola glue in there hair, if something stupid can be done it will be done

1

flash_fk t1_jdgoxbv wrote

Those are for humans.

1

Barnagain t1_jdgrhun wrote

Fig. 23 Do not insert in rectum

1

mrSunshine-_ t1_jdgtufe wrote

It’s missing the famous Do Not Use in Bath.

1

ghostdog688 t1_jdgvd6q wrote

What should be most frightening is that these things were tried often enough that manufacturer felt they had to tell people not to.

1

dazzypops t1_jdgviw4 wrote

Someone creating the manual had a quiet chuckle to themselves.

1

newbalancewearer t1_jdgz5y8 wrote

Appreciation to the amount of effort making lovely illustrations.

1

1aibohphobia1 t1_jdh2gyv wrote

let me guess, these are the instructions for us americans? xD

1

bakaneko718 t1_jdh2uym wrote

How do I toast my water then!?

1

All-Fired-Up91 t1_jdh4hnb wrote

Hmm yes please do not cook your toaster in a bigger toaster

1

Conranoss t1_jdh5641 wrote

I love warning labels like this. I used to frequent a gas station that had a sign stating to point the nozzle away from your face while refueling

1

Rreizero t1_jdhcffs wrote

Never underestimate the power of stupid

1

double-happiness t1_jdhdkvp wrote

Once when I had no gas I cooked with a pan placed on a sandwich toaster. True story.

1

dankazazel t1_jdho4mp wrote

You know when the business is old when the rules are long enough

1

ThirstyBeagle t1_jdi1lss wrote

Those are there for a reason 🤦‍♂️

1

Dorrono t1_jdi5u2e wrote

I get the feeling that for some years now, for every year passed, we remove one IQ point from humanity

1

sir-diesalot t1_jdibzmd wrote

Well they missed out turning it on it’s side and trying to do a cheese toaster in it, then burning the place down…

1

KennailandI t1_jdih6l1 wrote

AND you have to open the box to find out all these things that it’s no good for! You just know the regulators aren’t going to step in either and risk all money they’re getting from big toaster.

1

FM79SG t1_jdilk4y wrote

Dude I have seen Chinese aunties (old ladies) boil their underwear and socks in the water heater for tea.

People are can do the most fucked up things.

1

Its_Just_A_Typo t1_jdilw6s wrote

I am the grandson of Ukrainian immigrants; don't tell ME I can't cook soup on top of a toaster . . . . when I want some soup, dammit, I'ma have some soup.

1

capt-rix t1_jdipbk9 wrote

Don't store your toaster.

Don't wash your child's disastrous attempt at french toast out of your toaster.

Don't wash your toaster on the bottom rack.

Don't heat soup on your toaster.

1

gman51 t1_jdiwuzw wrote

Does that mean I can take it in the bath with me?

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Zaro_ t1_jdj3d6d wrote

I've done fig. 18 before. It cleaned the toaster pretty well, then you just turn it on and let it dry itself

1

Snoo-35252 t1_jdj7lfd wrote

Instructions unclear

Penis stuck in toaster

1