Live in townhome in NH with neighbors on each side. Neightbor on left has 4 kids and very quiet. May as well be a family of balloons floating around as we never hear them.

Neighbor on right has 2 pre-teen kids, one of which is autistic and makes excessive noise in the evenings and nights. screaming, yelling, banging on walls or throwing a ball against wall.

I've sent landlord email explaining the situation and it was good for about 2 weeks and has increased again so much so that we cannot even watch television in our living room any longer.

I don't want to be 'that guy' that calls the police with noise complaints but I don't know what else to do.

The single mother doesn't care about the noise as she leaves them alone while she works. I've been so angry I've banged on the walls just to have the kids bang back screaming while they do so.

What can I do? I am really at a loss. I can't afford to move.

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bigdog24681012 t1_jadit83 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 5:38 PM

#2,114,202

This is why I moved out of my Londonderry townhouse. And I had an end unit, with only 1 neighbor family on the other side!

I feel for you, but I don’t have any advice. Unless moving is in the cards for you…

paythemanhismoney t1_jadm3ms wrote on February 28, 2023 at 5:58 PM

#2,115,272

Replying to bigdog24681012 (#2,114,202)

Dang I didn’t even consider this before getting my mine, but the soundproofing is flawless and the bedrooms are practically separated. Feel lucky now

[deleted] t1_jadmt1m wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:03 PM

#2,115,473

Dude the kid is autistic, you need to relax or move. It’s a tough situation for sure, I definitely empathize with you.

BackItUpWithLinks t1_jadn2bd wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:04 PM

#2,115,541

Realistically?

Move.

scajjr29 t1_jadp4ci wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:17 PM

#2,116,171

Call the landlord during the next episode so he can hear what is going on. May help when he speaks to her.

Player2TwoAnon OP t1_jadpt7x wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:22 PM

#2,116,434

Replying to [deleted] (#2,115,473)

After 4 years of literal pounding on the wall for hours every night, my patience is gone

YouAreHardtoImagine t1_jadqu8a wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:28 PM

#2,116,759

How do you know the child is autistic? Have you spoke to the mother? Maybe one of the kids is hurting the other and she’s unaware.

Datmuny19 t1_jadr6ec wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:30 PM

#2,116,875

Time to move.

movdqa t1_jadr7xb wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:30 PM

#2,116,899

We haven't had neighbor issues in about 15 years. If we have a neighbor issue, we just go to the management company portal and file a complaint. The management company then sends a notice to the owner to cease and desist and cite the rule that they are violating. If it remains a problem, they are subject to escalating fines. This has solved dog, noise and all kinds of complaints.

paythemanhismoney t1_jadsu9t wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:41 PM

#2,117,415

R/neighborsfromhell

[deleted] t1_jadt3uk wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:42 PM

#2,117,490

Replying to Player2TwoAnon (#2,116,434)

Move bro unless you find a cure not much is going to change. Music ear plugs. You’ll be alright I know sucks now but this won’t be forever.

mvhcmaniac t1_jadu7fx wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:49 PM

#2,117,858

Replying to BackItUpWithLinks (#2,115,541)

That may not be very realistic with housing availability and rent. If I wanted to move, for example, I would be looking at about a 30% increase in rent in order to find a new apartment.

BackItUpWithLinks t1_jadvf1f wrote on February 28, 2023 at 6:57 PM

#2,118,228

Replying to mvhcmaniac (#2,117,858)

It’s more realistic to move than to get the absentee-parent of an autistic kid to all the sudden care about noise when she’s not home.

mvhcmaniac t1_jadvvmm wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:00 PM

#2,118,377

Replying to BackItUpWithLinks (#2,118,228)

Sure, but neither one is realistic. I think OP is probably just fucked. Only thing I can think of is CPS or the like, they could make a case for suspected child neglect.

justpaddlingalong t1_jadwxxd wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:06 PM

#2,118,746

Pre-teens left alone while she works, especially special needs, time to be that guy. Call DCYF, they're useless in NH but it might scare her into dealing with the problem.

Apostiarch t1_jady9xw wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:15 PM

#2,119,179

I mean. Ask the mother if she is aware of the issue. Be polite and receptive, she's probably overwhelmed. But get it on record that you have tried to resolve the issue. Inspect your renters agreement. See if there are any clauses she violates. If not, and she isn't receptive to helping, you may be SOL.

DeuceClimaxx t1_jadyj5q wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:16 PM

#2,119,274

Contact the Milford Fire Department and ask if they will loan you their disputed air horn. Anytime they are being excessive assholes, throw on some noise canceling headphones and fire it up.

greenglasstree t1_jae0id6 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:29 PM

#2,119,932

Why is it that in families where the child is neurodivergent, or has a disability, the father often bails?

This is the responsibility of the mother and father. Both should be held accountable.

4ak96 t1_jae3cml wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:47 PM

#2,120,822

Time to get on the line with DCF/CPS. If there is a special needs child there alone, that’s neglect my dude.

bella_boop314 t1_jae40p2 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 7:51 PM

#2,121,054

Are they individually owned? Do you have an association that runs everything? In this case I would make a complaint with the association.

If they are individually owned with no connection, then you either need to speak with the parents or get the police involved. If the parents are assholes you can even call CPS.

toomanytomatoes t1_jae6bs0 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:06 PM

#2,121,816

CPS and the police exist right? Fuck being "that guy" you're the guy who wants to live in peace. Fuck em all you've given them plenty of chances.

tracymartel_atemyson t1_jaec05n wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:43 PM

#2,123,945

have you talked to the mom respectfully directly? she probably doesn’t know the severity of how her kids act because i’m willing to bet the landlord sent a generic “your neighbors say there is noise coming from your apartment please correct this or blah blah blah”

from experience, and in my opinion the worst thing you can do is call the police. depending on your town, they’re most likely not trained on how to handle children on the spectrum and could create a life threatening situation for the child(ren).

DCYF can’t do much as there is no law in the state that says children need to be a certain age before being left unattended. they may do a site visit to make sure they’re not neglected but that is really it.

if you can, plan a move or see if the landlord has another rental that will be available soon and try to come to an agreement. yes this sucks but this isn’t a police issue, or a DCYF issue it is a landlord-tenant issue and they need to come to a resolution with the mom.

Top_Ad8783 t1_jaed6tl wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:50 PM

#2,124,383

Are we neighbors? My neighbor has two boys and one is autistic. The boy rocks himself to sleep up against the door frame. We can hear it in all areas of our home.

You have a right to quiet. Check local ordinances and cite the law for your landlord. You should proceed to call the police if it's after 10pm.

Top_Ad8783 t1_jaeddaq wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:51 PM

#2,124,441

Replying to [deleted] (#2,115,473)

The parents are still obligated to follow the law and condo bylaws even if the child has autism.

Top_Ad8783 t1_jaedqb5 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:54 PM

#2,124,570

Replying to Top_Ad8783 (#2,124,383)

Also you need to send a certified letter to your landlord explaining the issues.

Sirhc978 t1_jaeepaf wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:00 PM

#2,124,918

Does the noisy neighbor have a neighbor on the other side? If so, it might be worth talking to them as well.

nobletrout0 t1_jaeg65q wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:09 PM

#2,125,396

Replying to 4ak96 (#2,120,822)

You can spend all the time in the world with a kid that has issues like this and they’ll still fly off the handle. With you there.

smartest_kobold t1_jaegytv wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:14 PM

#2,125,692

Replying to justpaddlingalong (#2,118,746)

What do you think this will accomplish?

BrokedownAlice69 t1_jael1b3 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:40 PM

#2,127,274

Noise machines? Move your bed? Don’t know the layout but my wall mates right now are insane. Cops come All the time and she won’t rat on him for abusing her. Whenever she is there they do not stop fighting. They go in violent loops alll day and night and then she leaves and he takes over the bedroom and has the most obnoxious snore I’ve ever heard. I finally put my TV and speakers against their wall and have it pretty loud all the time. Great volume for me too.

He can’t sleep in his room anymore because I wake him up. I just moved everything that makes sound right against his wall. He must snore 12-16 hours a day now that Karen’s gone. But he ain’t taking over the bedroom anymore and I’m guessing he’s made the living room his bedroom. I have won for now

ShortUSA t1_jaem9of wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:48 PM

#2,127,781

Your post is interesting in that you mention taking up the issue with the landlord, you are debating taking it up with the police, but you never mentioned conversations you have had with your neighbor, the single mom.

I would do that. Many good things can come of knowing your neighbor and their kids.

KeksimusMaximus99 t1_jaen4zn wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:54 PM

#2,128,142

Replying to Top_Ad8783 (#2,124,441)

This 100%.

Its no excuse to just say kid's got the tism and ignore the disturbances.

Whether theres a disability, disagreement, or anything else involved, the individual most adapt to society, not the other way around.

Before anyone crucifies me i too have the tism. Difference is I dont roll around acting like an adult baby.